Adventureland Quotes (2009)
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Edit 00:08:16

Bobby		"OK, rules - no freebies, no free turns for your friends, no free upgrades, no free food--"
James		"So just... nothing is free here?"
Bobby		"Everybody has to pay for everything. And more importantly, working in games, no-one ever wins a giant-ass panda."
Paulette		"Yeah, we don't have that many left."

Edit 00:09:15

Joel		One dollar buys five rings, if one of the rings lands on one of the red bottles, they win a giant-ass panda.
James		That is a giant-ass panda.
Joel		Yeah, it's the best prize in the park, and that's because this game is un-winnable. Observe. I'll drop a ring from three inches away.
James		So... nobody ever wins?
Joel		If someone wins a giant-ass panda on your watch, you should just go home 'cause you're fired, OK?

Edit 00:09:35

Joel		"So the object of the game is to knock the hat off the dummy with a softball, except, as you'll see, half the hats are glued on."
James		"Really?"
Joel		"Yeah, I mean, we pay little Malaysian kids 10 cents a day to make these toys, we can't just give them away."

Edit 00:09:51

Joel

You get a five-minute bathroom break every two hours. I recommend saving a few of those up in case you have to go 'number two'.

Edit 00:15:17

James		"I think somebody was trying to write 'Satan Lives' on that wall, but they spelled it 'Satin Lives'."
Em		"One of those textile-worshiping cults, no doubt."

Edit 00:28:08

James		"I'm amazed at how tiny my pay-check is, I've been working doubles."
Joel		"Well, we are doing the work of pathetic, lazy morons."

Edit 00:47:44

Sue		"What are you majoring in?"
Joel		"Uh, Russian literature and Slavic languages."
Sue		"Oh wow, that's pretty interesting. What career track is that?"
Joel		"Cabbie, hot dog vendor, marijuana delivery guy. The world is my oyster."

Edit 00:49:08

Joel		[After helping Sue up off the ground] There you go.
Sue		You're so strong...ish
Joel		I'll take that.

Edit 01:28:16

Joel		"What's the point of being a writer or an artist anyway? Herman Melville wrote fucking 'Moby Dick', and he was so poor and forgotten by the time he died, that in his obituary, they called him Henry Melville. You know, like why bother? They're just going to forget our fucking names anyway. I heard Em went back to New York."
James		"I wish it didn't end like that, I should've... I don't know. Your Herman Melville story that - that's bullshit."
Joel		"It's true, they called him Henry."
James		"No, I mean, he wrote a seven-hundred page allegorical novel about the whaling industry. I think he was a pretty passionate guy, Joel. I hope they call me Henry when I die, too."
Joel		"One can only hope."

Edit 01:29:29

Frigo		"Brennan, don't get all drunk and fall asleep."
James		"Why?"
Frigo		"Because I'll jack off on your face!"

Edit 01:32:56

James

"Look, my theory is you can't just avoid everybody you screw up with. And you should trust me. I'm a New Yorker."

edit Box Office

Domestic	$16,044,025
Foreign	+$1,120,352

In today's dollars

Domestic	$16,044,025
Foreign	+1,120,352

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