Alice's Restaurant Quotes (1969)

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Arlo Guthrie Group W is where they putcha if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committin' your special crime. There was all kinds of mean, nasty ugly-lookin' people on the bench there. There was mother rapers... father stabbers... father rapers... Father rapers! Sittin' right there on the bench next to me!
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Officer Obie Want your wallets and your belts. Put everything on the desk.
Arlo Guthrie I can understand you wanting our wallets, so we don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you want our belts for?
Officer Obie Kid, we don't want any hanging.
Arlo Guthrie Obie, do you think we're gonna hang ourselves for littering?
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Arlo Guthrie Just what I've always wanted.
Alice Brock A restaurant?
Arlo Guthrie No, a friend with a restaurant.
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Alice Brock Take off those handcuffs!
Officer Obie You're interfering in the performance of my duties.
Alice Brock You're a meathead - haven't you play-acted cop enough for one day?
Officer Obie This side is reserved for officers of the law and criminals.
Alice Brock Pig-eyed idiot!
Officer Obie Alice, I've had enough garbage for one day, yours and theirs.
Alice Brock Stupid bastard!
Officer Obie Alice...
Alice Brock Cradle hopper!
Officer Obie Alice!
Alice Brock Turkey raper!
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Arlo Guthrie Obie, when do we get our bread and water?
Officer Obie Shut up, kid.
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Arlo Guthrie Girdles feel funny.
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Arlo Guthrie What funny smell?
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Criminal Kid, what'd you get?
Arlo Guthrie I didn't get nothin'. I had to pay fifty dollars, and pick up the garbage.
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