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| Batman |
|
Hmmmm... Sal's got company tonight. Don't wait up. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Meaning, I trust, that once you're done with him you'll be seeing her? |
| Batman |
|
You think you know everything about me don't you? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
I diapered your bottom. I bloody-well ought to *sir*. |
| Batman |
|
Then why do you want to kill me? |
| Joker |
|
I don't want to kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no, NO! No. You... you... complete me |
| Batman |
|
You're garbage who kills for money. |
| Joker |
|
Don't talk like one of them. You're not! Even if you'd like to be. To them, you're just a freak, like me! They need you right now, but when they don't, they'll cast you out, like a leper! You see, their morals, their code, it's a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these... these civilized people, they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve. |
| Batman |
|
Where is Dent? |
| Joker |
|
You have all these rules and you think they'll save you. |
| James Gordon |
|
He's in control. |
| Batman |
|
I have one rule. |
| Joker |
|
Then that's the rule you'll have to break to know the truth. |
| Batman |
|
Which is? |
| Joker |
|
The only sensible way to live in this world is without rules. And tonight you're gonna break your one rule. |
| Batman |
|
I'm considering it. |
| Joker |
|
No, there's only minutes left, so you're gonna have to play my little game if you want to save one of them. |
| Joker |
|
Oh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren't you? Huh? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever. |
| Batman |
|
You'll be in a padded cell forever. |
| Joker |
|
Maybe we can share one. You know, they'll be doubling up, the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds. |
| Batman |
|
This city just showed you that it's full of people ready to believe in good. |
| Joker |
|
Until their spirit breaks completely. Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent and all the heroic things he's done. You didn't think I'd risk losing the battle for Gotham's soul in a fistfight with you? No. You need an ace in the hole. Mine's Harvey. |
| Batman |
|
What did you do? |
| Joker |
|
I took Gotham's white knight and I brought him down to our level. It wasn't hard. You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push! |
| Batman |
|
[about the Joker] Where is he? |
| Salvatore Maroni |
|
Nobody knows, he came to us! |
| Batman |
|
He must have friends! |
| Salvatore Maroni |
|
Friends? Have you met this guy? |
| Batman |
|
Don't let me find you out here again. |
| Brian Douglas |
|
We're trying to help you! |
| Batman |
|
I don't need help. |
| Scarecrow |
|
Not in my diagnosis! |
| Brian Douglas |
|
What gives you the right? What's the difference between you and me? |
| Batman |
|
I'm not wearing hockey pads! |
| Batman |
|
Hey, Freeze. The heat is on. |
| Batman |
|
People are dying, Alfred. What would you have me do? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Endure, Master Wayne. Take it. They'll hate you for it, but that's the point of Batman, he can be the outcast. He can make the choice that no one else can make, the right choice. |
| Batman |
|
Well today I found out what Batman can't do. He can't endure this. Today you get to say "I told you so." |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Today, I don't want to. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
But I did bloody tell you. |
| Batman |
|
I need a new suit. |
| Lucius Fox |
|
Yeah, three buttons is a little '90's, Mr. Wayne. |
| Batman |
|
I'm not talking fashion, Mr. Fox, so much as function. |
| Lucius Fox |
|
You want to be able to turn your head. |
| Batman |
|
Sure would make backing out of the driveway easier. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Know your limits, Master Wayne. |
| Batman |
|
Batman has no limits. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Well, you do, sir. |
| Batman |
|
Well, can't afford to know them. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
I suppose they'll lock me up as well. As your accomplice... |
| Batman |
|
Accomplice? I'm going to tell them the whole thing was your idea. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Let's not forget about repairing the Batmobile. There's security to consider. It's not as though we can take it to any old "Joe's bodyshop," is it, sir? |
| Batman |
|
Security? Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? I'm sitting there working and I turn around, there she is. "Oh hi, Vick - come on in." |
| Batman |
|
And you are...? |
| Batgirl |
|
Batgirl. |
| Batman |
|
That's not very PC. What about Batwoman, or Batperson? |
| Batgirl |
|
Bruce, it's me, Barbara. I found the Batcave. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
We gotta get those locks changed. |
| Batman |
|
She knows who we are. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
I guess we'll just have to kill her. |
| Batman |
|
Yep, we'll kill her later, we've got work to do. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
I want a car. Chicks dig the car. |
| Batman |
|
This is why Superman works alone. |
| The Penguin |
|
You're just jealous, because I'm a genuine freak and you have to wear a mask! |
| Batman |
|
You might be right. |
| Catwoman |
|
You're catnip to a girl like me. Handsome, dazed, and to die for. |
| Batman |
|
Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it. |
| Catwoman |
|
But a kiss can be even deadlier if you mean it. You're the second man who killed me this week, but I've got seven lives left. |
| Batman |
|
I tried to save you. |
| Catwoman |
|
Seems like every woman you try to save ends up dead... or deeply resentful. Maybe you should retire. |
| James Gordon |
|
Thanks for the saving the day, Batman. I'm afraid the circus gang is back. |
| Batman |
|
We'll see. |
| Vicki Vale |
|
A lot of people think you're as dangerous as the Joker. |
| Batman |
|
Hmph, he's psychotic. |
| Vicki Vale |
|
Some people say the same thing about you. |
| Batman |
|
What people? |
| Vicki Vale |
|
Well, I mean, let's face it. You're not exactly normal, are you? |
| Batman |
|
It's not exactly a normal world, is it? |
| Vicki Vale |
|
I just gotta know, are we gonna try to love each other? |
| Batman |
|
I'd like to. But he's out there right now. And I've gotta go to work. |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
Are you ready to begin? |
| Batman |
|
I-I can barely stand... |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
Death does not wait for you to be ready! Death is not considerate, or fair! And make no mistake: here, you face Death. |
| Batman |
|
Taste of your own medicine, Doctor? |
| Batman |
|
Admiring your handy work? |
| The Penguin |
|
Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff. |
| Batman |
|
You're not the mayor. |
| The Penguin |
|
Things change. |
| Batman |
|
What do you want? |
| The Penguin |
|
Ah, the direct approach. I admire that in a man with a mask! Heheh. |
| Batman |
|
[hard stare] |
| The Penguin |
|
You don't really think you'll win, do you? |
| Batman |
|
Things change. |
| Catwoman |
|
Meow. |
| Batman |
|
The point is, Max, Gotham City has a power surplus. I'm sure you know that. My question is: what's your angle? |
| Max Shreck |
|
Power surplus? Bruce, shame on you. No such thing. One can never have too much power. If my life has a meaning, that's the meaning. |
| Batman |
|
Yeah, well... I'm gonna fight you on this. And I've already spoken to the mayor and we see eye to eye, so... |
| Max Shreck |
|
Mayors come and go. Blue bloods tire easy. You think you can go fifteen rounds with Muhammed Shreck? |
| Batman |
|
Well, I guess we're gonna find out. Course, I don't have a crime boss like Cobblepot in my corner, so it might... |
| Max Shreck |
|
Crime boss? Shows what you know, Mr. to-the-manor-born-with-a-silver-spoon. Oswald is Gotham's new golden boy. If his parents hadn't eighty-sixed him, you two might've been bunkies at prep school! |
| Batman |
|
It ends here. |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
For you and the police, maybe. My fight, however, lies with the rest of Gotham. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a city to destroy. |
| Batman |
|
I can't beat two of your pawns? |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
As you wish. [Two more Ninja drop from above] |
| Batman |
|
What have I done, Alfred? Everything my family... my father built... |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
The Wayne legacy is more than bricks and mortar, sir |
| Batman |
|
I wanted to save Gotham, I failed. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Why do we fall sir? So we might learn to pick ourselves up. |
| Batman |
|
You still haven't given up on me? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Never. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Miss Vale called. She was rather concerned. I've noticed that there is a certain weight that lifts when she's here. |
| Batman |
|
Alfred, why don't you marry her? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
That's not exactly what I had in mind. |
| Batman |
|
I can't go on with that right now. I just found out that Jack Napier is still alive. He's running Grissom's men. I'm gonna need everything the police have on him. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Certainly, sir. |
| Batman |
|
Alfred, she is great isn't she? |
| Arthur Reeves |
|
[on TV] What kind of city are we running when we depend on the support of a potential madman! |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
What rot, sir! Why you're the very model of sanity. Oh by the way, I pressed your tights and put away your exploding gas balls. |
| Batman |
|
Thank you, Alfred. |
| Jason Todd |
|
Who Hoo! You Guys Having A Party? Ha! Guess Our Invite Got Lost? |
| Batman |
|
It's Over Riddler! |
| Jason Todd |
|
Riddle Me This? What's Green and Purple? Covered In Red and Yellow? You When I Land On Your Sorry Butt! |
| Drug Dealing Pimp | Don't Move! Or I'll | |
| Jason Todd |
|
Or What? Shoot Me! 20 Rounds A Second, and Your Still To Slow! |
| Drug Dealing Pimp 2 | I'm Not Slow Punk! | |
| Jason Todd |
|
Me neither. |
| Batman |
|
I've Got Him! ROBIN! |
| Jason Todd |
|
I Had To Take Him Down! |
| Batman |
|
You Shattered His Collar Bone! |
| Jason Todd |
|
He's A Drug Dealing Pimp. I didn't think I had to prop up some pilers before I took him out! |
| Batman |
|
We needed him, He would have talked. You put him into shock. |
| Jason Todd |
|
Sorry. That was dumb, but he deserved it. |
| Jason Todd |
|
What The Hell Took You So Long? |
| Batman |
|
Shut Up And Fight! |
| Jason Todd |
|
Hello. So glad you could make it. |
| Batman |
|
This ends tonight. All of it. |
| Jason Todd |
|
Nobody knows that better than me. Huh, you and your gadgets. Your not the only one with toys. Crap! |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
Have you finally learned to do what is necessary? |
| Batman |
|
I won't kill you...but I don't have to save you. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
A long time ago, I was in Burma, my friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never found anyone who traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing them away. |
| Batman |
|
Then why steal them? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn. |
| Jason Todd |
|
Ignoring what he's done in the past. Blindly, stupidly disregarding the entire grave yards he's filled, the thousands who've suffered, the friends he's crippled. You know I thought, I thought I would be the last person you'd ever let him hurt. If it would have been you he beat to a bloody pulp, if he had taken you from this world, I would have done nothing, but, search the planet until I found this pathetic pile of evil death worshiping garbage! And sent him off to hell! |
| Batman |
|
You don't understand. I don't think you will ever understand. |
| Superman |
|
You know who I was thinking of the other day? |
| Batman |
|
No. Who? |
| Superman |
|
Magpie. |
| Batman |
|
The criminal? |
| Superman |
|
Do we know another Magpie? Whatever happened to her? |
| Batman |
|
She died. |
| Superman |
|
No. Are you sure? |
| Batman |
|
Reasonably. |
| Superman |
|
Why is it the "good" villains never die? |
| Batman |
|
Clark. What the hell are "good" villains? |
| Batman |
|
[Batman watches the tape of Ferris Boyle wounding Victor Fries] My God! |
| Mr. Freeze |
|
Yes. It would move me to tears... If I still had tears to shed. |
| Mr. Freeze |
|
The snow is beautiful, don't you think? Clean, uncompromising... |
| Batman |
|
And cold. |
| Mr. Freeze |
|
Like the swift hand of vengeance. |
| Mr. Freeze |
|
Tonight, I mean to pay back the man who ruined my life... our lives. |
| Batman |
|
Even if you have to kill everyone in the building to do it? |
| Mr. Freeze |
|
Think of it, Batman. To never again walk on a summer's day with the hot wind in your face and a warm hand to hold. Oh yes, I'd kill for that! |
| Batman |
|
(Pulls out Batman Credit Card) Never leave the cave without it. |
| Tim Drake |
|
They've got him downtown. I figure we break in, take out the guards, and spring Nightwing and Alfred at the same time. |
| Batman |
|
No. |
| Tim Drake |
|
What do you mean? |
| Batman |
|
It's over, Tim. Gordon feels betrayed, and maybe he was. He won't give up until he gets me. You have to leave me now. Give yourself up. No one will blame you for what happened. |
| Tim Drake |
|
What about you? |
| Batman |
|
...I don't know. |
| Batman |
|
[Picking up the phone] Yes? |
| James Gordon |
|
Wayne. |
| Batman |
|
Commissioner? What can I do for you? |
| James Gordon |
|
Drop the act. Ten minutes on Barbara's computer told me everything. Like a fool I allowed you to run wild on your private crusade. A psychotic misfit playing masked hero. Now I've paid for it with Barbara's life. |
| Batman |
|
Jim, believe me. I know how you feel. |
| James Gordon |
|
You can't. |
| Batman |
|
You know how I lost my parents. The only way I could hold on to my sanity was to take matters into my own hands. |
| James Gordon |
|
That makes us even. |
| Catwoman |
|
I thought I felt a chill. |
| Batman |
|
I want you to stay away from Nightwing. |
| Catwoman |
|
[Chuckles] Mother birds usually know when to let their robins leave the nest. He's a big boy-wonder now. A man wonder, in fact. |
| Batman |
|
I don't trust you, Selina. |
| Catwoman |
|
Of course you don't. That's why it could have never worked out between us. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
Is this a private party? |
| Catwoman |
|
Don't you men ever use the door? |
| Dr. Chase Meridian |
|
What is it about the wrong kind of man? In grade school it was boys with earrings, high school; motorcycles; college, leather jackets. Now... [feels nipples on the Batsuit] *Ah*. Black rubber. |
| Batman |
|
Try a fireman. Less to take off. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Why are you still out? Are you concerned about that strange, heroic Penguin person? |
| Batman |
|
I think he knows who his parents are. There's something else... |
| Batman |
|
"Red Triangle Circus put on a swell show with fierce lions... circus returns with a Freak Show, may not be suitable for kids. Featuring a poodle lady, the world's fattest man... and an aquatic bird boy." |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Why are you so determined to prove this Penguin is not what he seems? Must you be the only lonely man beast in town? |
| Batman |
|
"... circus folded it's tents yesterday, perhaps forever after numerous reports of missing children. In several towns, police have closed down the Red Triangle's fairgrounds, however at least one freak show performer vanished before he could be questioned." |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
I suppose you feel better now, sir. |
| Batman |
|
No, actually I feel worse. |
| Max Shreck |
|
You're not just saving a life, you're saving yo-[Batman shoves his hand in Shreck's face] |
| Batman |
|
Shut up. You're going to jail. |
| Catwoman |
|
Don't be naīve! The law doesn't apply to people like him or us! |
| Batman |
|
Wrong on both counts. Why are you doing this? Let's just take him to the police, then we can go home. Together. Selina... Don't you see? We're the same. We're the same. Split, right down the center. [rips his cowl off] Selina... please. |
| Catwoman |
|
Bruce... I would love to live with you in your castle, forever just like in fairy tale... |
| Batman |
|
[tries to comfort Selia, but she scratches his face] |
| Catwoman |
|
I just couldn't live with myself! So don't pretend this is a happy ending! |
| Max Shreck |
|
Selina! Selina Kyle, you're fired! And Bruce Wayne, why are you dressed up like Batman? |
| Catwoman |
|
Because he *is* Batman, you moron! |
| Max Shreck |
|
Was. [shoots Batman] |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Well, come what may. Merry Christmas, Mister Wayne. |
| Batman |
|
Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will toward men... and women. |
| Vicki Vale |
|
Bats... |
| Batman |
|
They're great survivors. |
| Batman |
|
Alfred, did you get the file on my parents? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
It's on your table, sir. |
| Batman |
|
Thank you. What's on your mind, Alfred? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
I have no wish to spend my few remaining years grieving for the loss of old friends. Or their sons. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
Gosh, if I could just figure out that riddle. Why can't I get it? |
| Batman |
|
Maybe your mind's on that cute little teenager who waved to you on the way across town, eh? |
| Dick Grayson |
|
Awww, come on, Batman. |
| Batman |
|
Language is the key to world peace. If we all spoke each others tongues perhaps the scourge of war would be ended forever. |
| Moth | Oh, Batman. Moth has learned her lesson, really she has. Crime doesn't pay! | |
| Batman |
|
Unfortunately you've learned your lesson too late, Moth. A moth who flies around candles is liable to get burned. |
| Batman |
|
Most Americans don't realize what we owe to the ancient Incas. Very few appreciate they gave us the white potato and many varieties of Indian corn. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
Now whenever I eat mashed potatoes, I for one will think of the Incas. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
Holy molars! Am I ever glad I take good care of my teeth! |
| Batman |
|
True. You owe your life to dental hygiene. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
I am a little hungry. |
| Batman |
|
Of course, Robin. Even crime-fighters must eat. And especially you. You're a growing boy and you need your nutrition. |
| Batman |
|
Gotham Police Declare War on Batman? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
I gather you've been reading How to Make Friends and Influence People. |
| Batman |
|
Somebody's setting me up. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
My heavens! You mean it wasn't you tossing guards out of windows last night? |
| Batman |
|
I only toss butlers, Alfred. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
When you think, Batman, with those four supercrooks hanging around, it's amazing somebody hasn't already reported this place to the police! |
| Batman |
|
It's a low neighborhood, full of rumpots. They're used to curious sights, which they attribute to alcoholic delusions. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
Gosh, drink is sure a filthy thing, isn't it? I'd rather be dead than unable to trust my own eyes! |
| Dick Grayson |
|
That crazy missile! It wrote two more riddles before it blew up! |
| Batman |
|
What goes up white and comes down yellow and white? |
| Dick Grayson |
|
An egg! |
| Batman |
|
How do you divide seventeen apples among sixteen people? |
| Dick Grayson |
|
Make applesauce! |
| Batman |
|
Apples into applesauce, a unification into one smooth mixture. An egg, nature's perfect container. The container of all our hopes for the future. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
A unification and a container of hope? United World Organization! |
| Mrs. Delane |
|
Bruce, there's somebody you must meet. |
| Batman |
|
Not now, Mrs. Delane. |
| Mrs. Delane |
|
Now, am I pronouncing this right... Mr. Razz Al Ghoul? |
| Batman |
|
You're not Ra's al Ghul. I watched him die. |
| Superman |
|
Apple Pie. |
| Batman |
|
The devil's food. |
| Superman |
|
Something tells me this isn't about desert? |
| Batman |
|
The boy needs you. |
| Superman |
|
No! He needs you. He needs Red. I'm just a constant reminder of what he's not. |
| Batman |
|
Sorry Clark. But you're dead wrong. |
| Superman |
|
(sigh) |
| Batman |
|
Look, I know he troubles you, but he's here. You have to get over the how? and why? Trust me on this, this boy needs his father. |
| Superman |
|
I'm not his father! I'll take that pie to go. |
| Mad Hatter |
|
I'll cut that cowl from your neck before you take her! I've waited my whole lonely life for her! |
| Batman |
|
Then all you've waited for is a puppet. A soulless little doll. |
| Mad Hatter |
|
It didn't have to be this way! You made me do this to her! |
| Batman |
|
WHY? Why did you do it?! |
| Mad Hatter |
|
You, of all people, have the gall to ask me that? You ruined my life! I was willing to give you whatever life you wanted, just to keep you out of mine! |
| Batman |
|
I don't pass sentence. That's for the courts to decide. But this time -- this time -- I am sorely tempted to do the job myself! |
| Batman |
|
Sometimes, old friend, I wonder if I'm really doing any good out there. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
How can you doubt it? The lives you've saved, the criminals you've brought to justice- |
| Batman |
|
I've put out a few fires, yes. But the war goes on, Alfred. On and on... |
| Batman |
|
Reports of a huge bat creature the size of a man. Remind you of anybody? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Present company excluded? |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
The material of the Pit is an unknown chemical stew that bubbles to the Earth's surface only in certain key places. Even now, my people are placing bombs, such as that one, over the various Lazarus Pits around the world. These bombs are electronically linked to a private satellite already in Earth orbit. |
| Batman |
|
Orpheus. |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
Ra's al Ghul: Precisely. And at the moment when sun and moon are in proper alignment to cause the greatest upheaval in Earth's geomagnetic field, I shall send a signal to that satellite, beginning a countdown. Five minutes thereafter, one bomb will be lowered deep into the heart of each Pit. The satellite will in turn relay a microwave signal that will detonate all the bombs simultaneously. The multiple explosions will result in a global chain reaction. All the Lazarus Pits throughout the world will overflow. The globe will be saturated with their chemical solution, and when the resultant cataclysm has abated, there will come a blessed peace, and this poor, defiled planet shall find itself restored to its former pristine glory. |
| Batman |
|
But that will cost countless lives! |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
Actually, Detective, we have counted: Two billion, fifty-six million, nine hundred and eighty-six thousand! A most impressive plan, would you not agree? |
| Batman |
|
Yes... I can see it clearly now for the first time. You are completely out of your mind. |
| Batman |
|
If you protect him, Stromwell, I'll be very...grumpy. You don't want to see me when I'm grumpy. |
| Batman |
|
You may control this world, Nygma, but I still control myself. |
| Riddler |
|
The name is Riddler! Edward Nygma no longer exists! You may remember that he was fired by an ungrateful employer. That was a private matter and should have remained one! |
| Batman |
|
Attempted homicide is never a private matter, Nygma. |
| Riddler |
|
But it would've been if you hadn't interfered and made Nygma a criminal! So I deleted Nygma! Just like I'm going to delete you, Batman! |
| Batman |
|
I need a new car. |
| Batman |
|
Wherever you go, I'll be right behind you. |
| The Penguin |
|
Precisely where you belong. |
| Batman |
|
You've got a serious priority problem, Ra's. What can be in that tomb that's more valuable than the love of your daughter? |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
Power, detective. |
| Harley Quinn |
|
Look, Bats. When I was a doctor I was always listening to other people's problems. Then I met Mister J, who listened to me for a change and made everything fun. |
| Batman |
|
You think it's funny when he hurts people? |
| Harley Quinn |
|
It's just a joke. |
| Batman |
|
Hope you're still laughing when it's your turn. |
| Batman |
|
Scoundrels like these are worse than the Joker. At least he's got madness as an excuse! |
| Andrea Beaumont |
|
What's that you're practicing? |
| Batman |
|
Jujitsu. |
| Andrea Beaumont |
|
Gesundheit... That was a joke. |
| Batman |
|
Ladies. Gentlemen. You've eaten well. You've eaten Gotham's wealth. It's spirit. But your feast is nearly over. From this moment on - none of you are safe. |
| Batman |
|
Gotham City. Clean shafts of concrete and snowy rooftops. The work of men who died generations ago. From here, it looks like an achievement. From here, you can't see the enemy. |
| Holly Robinson |
|
Cheer you up, mister? |
| Batman |
|
How old are you? |
| Holly Robinson |
|
Young as you want me to be. |
| Stan |
|
[grabs Holly by the hair] Stupid little bitch! You're doing it all wrong! |
| Holly Robinson |
|
But I did what you said! |
| Stan |
|
Get on out of here! We'll talk this over later. |
| Batman |
|
No. I think you're finished with her. |
| Stan |
|
Man, that crazy vet thing is old. You stink like vice. |
| Batman |
|
I'm not the police. Believe me. |
| Batman |
|
If only that cat woman hadn't been there. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
[reading newspaper] Marked increase in paranoia. Hmm. |
| Batman |
|
The Roman says he doesn't want bad publicly. It follows he wont murder anyone. What then? Blackmail? Extortion? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
[continues to read] Tendency toward aberrant, even violent behavior. |
| Batman |
|
Kidnapping. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Shall I fetch your tights, sir? |
| Batman |
|
Never during the day, Alfred. |
| Batman |
|
With my belt gone, I'm down to a blow gun, three darts and an unofficial invention of Wayne Electronics. Haven't tested it for this great a distance. It took me weeks to find the right ultrasonic tone... a tone that acts as an attractant. |
| Batman |
|
You can never escape me. Nothing harms me. But I know pain. I know pain. Sometimes I share it, with someone like you. |
| Barbara Gordon |
|
Don't move! I'll shoot, I will! |
| Batman |
|
Mrs. Gordon, I won't let your son die. Trust me. |
| James Gordon |
|
You must be wearing armor under that jacket. |
| Batman |
|
Something like that. |
| James Gordon |
|
You know, I'm practically blind without my glasses. [sirens in distance] You'd better go. And, thank you. |
| Batman |
|
Fellow Superheroes or, in deference to the ladies, Super Persons, we are gathered here tonight to pay tribute to one of our former colleagues, and perhaps the greatest Superhero of all. When many of us were, ahem, still in short leotards, this man was saving the world virtually single handedly. Lets have a warm, Super welcome for: Retired Man. |
| Batman |
|
[to The Joker] You wanted me, here I am. |
| Batman |
|
I read your work. Insightful. Naive, but insightful. |
| Dr. Chase Meridian |
|
I'm flattered. Not every girl makes a superhero's night table. |
| Batman |
|
The car. Chicks love the car. |
| Batman |
|
(to Owlman) There is a difference between you and me. We both looked into the abyss, but when it looked back at us... you blinked. |
| Batman |
|
A simple recon mission. Observe and report! You'll each receive written evaluations detailing your *many* mistakes... Until then - good job... No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. How you adjust to the unforseen is what determines success. And how you choose who leads determines character. |
| Martian Manhunter |
|
I though I could make a life for myself here among you humans. I didn't think I had a choice. But there is one now. There's too much hatred here, too much ignorance, too much mindless conformity. I'm leaving. |
| Batman |
|
Have a nice trip. Some of us don't have that luxury. |
| Batman |
|
[to Martian Manhunter] And one other thing, I'm not sure what you are or where you come from. But my instincts tell me you're to be trusted. Make no mistake, I have a $70,000 sliver of a radioactive meteor to stop the one from Metropolis. All I need for you is a penny for a book of matches. |
| Rachel Dawes |
|
Wait! You could die. At least tell me your name. |
| Batman |
|
It's not who I am underneath, but what I *do* that defines me. |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
Your compassion is a weakness your enemies will not share. |
| Batman |
|
That's why it's so important. It separates us from them. |
| Batman |
|
People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy, and I can't do that as Bruce Wayne. As a man, I'm flesh and blood. I can be ignored, I can be destroyed. But as a symbol … as a symbol, I can be incorruptible. I can be everlasting. |
| Batman |
|
You're vigilantes. |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
No, no, no. A vigilante is just a man lost in the scramble for his own gratification. He can be destroyed, or locked up. But if you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can't stop you, then you become something else entirely. |
| Batman |
|
Which is? |
| Ra's al Ghul |
|
A legend, Mr. Wayne. |
| Valet | Your wife said you'd be taking a cab home. | |
| Batman |
|
My wife?! |
| Catwoman |
|
[posing as a maid] I'm so sorry Mr. Wayne! You...are Mr. Wayne, aren't you? Although you don't have the...facial scars or long nails... |
| Batman |
|
Is that what they say about me? |
| Catwoman |
|
It's just...no one ever sees you. |
| Batman |
|
That's a beautiful necklace. Reminds me of one my mother used to wear. There's no way it could be the same one, because her pearls are in this safe...[opens a cabinet to reveal a safe that is ajar]...which the manufacturer assured me is uncrackable. |
| Catwoman |
|
[suddenly sultry]...oops. No one told me it was uncrackable. |
| Batman |
|
Now you're trying to set me up with a thief? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
I'd set you up with a chimpanzee if it would get you back out into the world! |
| Mole Man | Hey bat, when you're flying, whats the city look like from up on high? | |
| Batman |
|
It looks dirty. |
| Batman |
|
Why didn't you just ...kill me? |
| Bane |
|
You don't fear death, you welcome it. Your punishment must be more severe. |
| Batman |
|
Torture? |
| Bane |
|
Yes. But not of your body ...of your soul. |
| Batman |
|
Where am I? |
| Bane |
|
Home! Where I learnt the truth about despair. As will you. There's a reason why this prison is the worst hell on earth. Hope. Every man who has rotted here over the centuries has looked up to the light, and imagined climbing to freedom. So easy. So simple. And like shipwrecked men turning to sea water, from uncontrollable thirst ...many have died trying. I learnt here that there can be no true despair without hope. So, as I terrorise Gotham, I will feed it's people hope, to poison their souls. |
| Batman |
|
What's your name? |
| Carrie Kelley |
|
Carrie. Carrie Kelley. Robin. |
| Batman |
|
Mine's Bruce. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Sir, you're delirious! You should stay quiet from now on. We're moments from the hospital. |
| Batman |
|
No Alfred, no hospital. The cave. |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
But sir- |
| Batman |
|
The cave! And Robin comes with us. |
| Carol Ferris |
|
Bruce, you're pushing the car too hard. It's not meant to take it. |
| Batman |
|
I'll coax it. |
| Carol Ferris |
|
That's it, I'm engaging computer override. |
| Batman |
|
[punches dashboard, rips wires out] Don't think it's working. |
| Carol Ferris |
|
You son of bitch! Are you trying to kill yourself?! |
| Batman |
|
Hmmm. |
| Batman |
|
[about Two-Face's coin] He's scratching both sides now. As if he's become consumed by his dark side. I wouldn't rule out that he's hurting himself. It must have been impossible to resist the compulsion. |
| James Gordon |
|
We still talking about Dent? |
| Batman |
|
They're scum, but even scum have families. |
| Dick Grayson |
|
I need a name! Batboy, Nightwing, I dunno. What you think? What's a good sidekick name? |
| Batman |
|
How about Dick Grayson, college student? |
| Dick Grayson |
|
Holey rusted metal, Batman! |
| Batman |
|
Huh? |
| Dick Grayson |
|
The ground, it's all metal. It's full of holes. You know, holey. |
| Batman |
|
Oh. |
| Batman |
|
I don't know who you are, but you've had enough fun for one night. |
| Batman |
|
Does any of this fill in your memory lapses? |
| Supergirl |
|
Some. I know that's my Uncle Jor-El and my Aunt Lara. |
| Batman |
|
Because Superman, Kal-El, told you. |
| Supergirl |
|
No. Because I remember. Uncle Jor-El was like my father. They both believed the planet was doomed which is why my father also built a ship. He told me the navigation system was locked onto Earth and that he and my mother would soon follow. I was just about out when I saw them die, right before my eyes. And then there was that light, that awful, blistering light. Then, all I remember is darkness. The rest you told me. How the asteroid carried me across the galaxy until it broke apart and I landed here. |
| Batman |
|
Do you remember your mother's name? |
| Supergirl |
|
You *know* I don't. *Why* don't you trust me? |
| Batman |
|
Kal-El has enemies who would go to great lengths to destroy him. |
| Supergirl |
|
You *think* I would hurt my own cousin? |
| Batman |
|
Perhaps not intentionally. |
| Supergirl |
|
I sensed your presence earlier because I thought I heard your heartbeat. I was wrong. You have *no* heart. |
| Solomon Grundy |
|
Grundy ... not feel good. |
| Batman |
|
Grundy gonna feel a lot *worse*. |
| Batman |
|
Tonight I am going to maintain order in Gotham City. You are going to help me. But not with these. These are loud and clumsy. These are the weapons of cowards. [snaps rifle in half] Our weapons are precise and quiet. In time I will teach them to you. But for tonight, you will rely on your brains and your fists. Tonight, we are the law. Tonight, I am the law. |
| Batman |
|
You say you answer to some sort of authority. They only want me dead because I'm an embarrassment. Because I do what they can't. What kind of authority is that? |
| Superman |
|
It doesn't matter. It's their world, and they won't stand for you anymore. If it isn't me, it'll just be someone else. |
| Batman |
|
Really? Who do they send after you? |
| Carrie Kelley |
|
How do you fight someone like that? |
| Batman |
|
Simpler than I've made it. There's nothing wrong with Joker that I can't fix. With my hands. |
| Batman |
|
What is it you want, Oliver? |
| Green Arrow |
|
A piece of him. The schoolboy. I always knew it would come down to the two of you someday. The world's not big enough for the both of you. Doesn't have to be a big piece. Just count me in, for old times' sake. |
| Batman |
|
He'll still be weak, between the nuke and so little sunlight. Just how weak we'll see when he finds my first surprise. |
| Carrie Kelley |
|
Yeah, but how long you expect to last against him? |
| Batman |
|
Long enough. |
| Carrie Kelley |
|
Boss. I'm trying to get the plan here. I mean, you gonna die tonight or what? |
| Batman |
|
Figure I will. |
| Superman |
|
What are you doing? Do you want me to kill you? |
| Batman |
|
Oh, you're not going to kill me. Now. |
| Green Arrow |
|
[Oliver Queen fires a kryptonite arrow at Superman, he grabs it as it explodes in his face] |
| Batman |
|
It wasn't easy to make, Clark. It took years and cost a fortune. Luckily, I had both. |
| Batman |
|
Alfred, how's the satellite picture? |
| Alfred Pennyworth |
|
Splendid. I can almost see your pointy ears, sir. |
| Batman |
|
Nice work, kid. Looks like I owe you one. |
| Batman |
|
It works too well. I'm willing to put my life on the line to do what I have to. But it has to be mine, no one else's. |
| Batman |
|
It was just like that night in the alley, Alfred... the closeness of the walls, the gunfire. It seems I've been trying to stop those two bullets all my life. |
| James Gordon |
|
Got a lead on your 'Killer Croc.' His name's Waylon Jones. He was an inmate at Arkham Asylum - and a former test subject in Dr. Crane's fear-aversion therapy program. |
| Batman |
|
Which means he's twice as twisted now that Crane's had a go at him. |
| Batman |
|
Shoot your mouth off now, Deadshot. |
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