Crank (2006)

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This foreign poster is pretty bitchin'

Crank is a high-octane, appropriately adrenaline-fueled action movie that follows Jason Statham as Chev Chelios as he leaves a path of wreckage through Los Angeles, on his way to kill the man who killed him. He has to keep moving to survive, and the central conceit is that whenever his adrenaline stops, his vision blurs, his heart starts filling with poison and he starts falling apart.

Crank is the first movie by directorial pair Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor.

Wake up.

Crank takes a very staunch "anti-Chinese shit" stance. Very political.

Vision blurry... groggy... unfocused. Stumble around. DVD in front of TV, reading "fuck you" Play it. Ricky Verona is sitting there, talking to the camera, Chev's unconscious body laying there. He's excited. He pulls out a syringe and injects Chev in the neck with it. "I just killed you," he says, and the DVD ends. Angry. Chev grabs the TV and destroys it. Grabs his cell phone. Runs to car. Drives away. But as he's driving, his vision starts to deteriorate. Everything is getting blurry and it's like his eyes are pulsating. He starts to collapse, no energy left in his body, and slams the gas just to try and wake himself up.

Boys will be boys!

Call some people. Kaylo, an associate, is sent out to find Verona. Eve, Chev's girlfriend. Doesn't answer. Doc Miles, who isn't there. Leaves a message. Chev keeps driving, heads down to Orlando's Hood to get some help. He runs in, pulls his gun, grabs Orlando himself and drags him to the bathroom, bolting the door. "Where's Verona?!" Chev asks. Orlando keeps his cool and tells Chev that Verona screwed him, too, and thus, he has no idea where Verona is. Orlando calmly tells him, as 10 other friends of Orlando point their guns directly at Chev’s head, that he is himself after Verona. Things settle down, and Chev starts to deteriorate once more. Hoping to get himself back together, he buys cocaine off of Orlando. It does the job, but only for a short few seconds. Chev knows what to do though. He throws himself at one of Orlando's henchmen and starts a bar brawl until they chase him out and he drives away.

Why are there all these shoppers in a mall?! I'm trying to drive!

Chev begins driving. Doc Miles finally calls back and explains what's up. It's the Beijing Cocktail. Doc Miles informs him that if he slows down, he will die. Chev gets the cops on his tail while he's talking. He drives into a mall, crashes on an escalator, and gets out, jumping into a cab. He tells the cabbie to just drive. His vision starts going again. He makes the cabbie change the station. It's the Achy Break Song, but Chev tells him to pump it up and starts headbanging to it. Anything to keep moving. It's not working, so Chev orders the cabbie to pull over at a gas station. Chev then robs the gas station of all of it’s energy supplements. From there, the cab driver takes him to Beverly Hills to visit Carlito, a local mob boss. Chev jumps into the pool and demands Carlito help him with Verona. Carlito explains that Chev's last hit, a mob boss named Don Kim, resulted in the Triads becoming more agressive, and that the hit was ill-advised. Basically, killing Chev restores piece, and Carlito isn't stopping that. Angry, Chev walks out to kill Verona on his own.

Also, Kaylo's gay, but that's not really important.

The cab driver won't let Chev in, so Chev throws him out, calls him Al-Qaeda, and floors it. After getting a call from Doc Miles, who says the artificial adrenaline Epinephrine could help, Chev gets a call from Kaylo. Kaylo saw Ricky Verona’s brother, who was in the video with a baseball bat, entering a restaurant across the street from him. Chev drives over to Hollywood, shows him where to go. Chev walks in, shoves rudely past the hostesses, and goes out through the kitchen. The brother stops eating and follows, his gun drawn. He doesn't see Chev in the kitchen, so he continues to the alley and looks around.

Slice.

Epiglotis? Episcopalian? Epic pwnage? What was it?!

Lunging through the door, meat-cleaver in hand, Chev chops off the brother's hand (the one with the gun) and they start fighting. Chev is losing (the brother is punching him with his stump, even), but Kaylo hits the brother with a rolling pin, which distracts him. The brother is about to destroy Kaylo when Chev walks over calmly, picks up the brother's hand, and shoots him in the back of the head, hand still firmly clamped down. He pulls it off, tosses it to Kaylo, and then calls Verona on the brother's cell phone. Pissed, Verona throws a hissy fit. Chev gets up to go to the hospital and get... what was it again?

You'd think the shock would make Chev shoot. Or the gun explode.

Chev then drives to the closest hospital, hoping to find himself a good old fashioned vial of Epi...epi something. When he gets to the pharmacy, shoving past an old man (to be fair, he's a bit of a jerk) and asks the clerk lady for epi-something. "Epinephrine?" she asks, in a blase sort of way, and Chev gets excited. "NO," she says, she's not going to give him any and goes off to call the cops about another stupid adrenaline junkie interrupting her day at the hospital. A nearby tweaker notifies Chev that nasal spray has epinephrine, so he grabs a bunch of them and starts snorting them like his life depended on them (and it does). He starts to walk around and look for SOMEONE who would give it to him, but the cops find him first, so he bolts (but stays in the hospital). He hides in a room (in the only cupboard the cops don't check), changes into one of those open-backed hospital gowns, and starts walking out, his gun shoved into his armpit. The cops see him

When in doubt, just inject yourself with stuff. A lot of it. (This image messed up the layout)

though, and he starts running again. As he bolts through the corridors, he finds a cart taking someone to ICU and figures they would have Epinephrine. He gives chase, grabs a male nurse, holds the gun to his face and starts screaming about Epinephrine. When they nurse finds it, they're at an elevator. Chev takes a few needles of it and, with the cops holding a gun in his direction, tells the nurse to juice him, pointing at a defibrillator. The nurse is stunned. He recovers, charges, puts it to Chev, and fires. He flies back, grabs the person in the elevator, throws them out, and starts moving. He collapses, tired, and tries to remember how much Epinephrine the good doctor told him to take (1/5 a syringe). Ah, well. Better take the whole thing. He fills the syringe, finds a vein, shoots it all in, and then stops to wonder if he did the right thing.

Running.

Chev is running. No idea where. No idea why. Energy. So much. So. Much. Energy. Over cars. Down streets. All over. Miles. He's gone miles. Maybe further. Who cares. Not Chev. Got move. Do stuff. Keep running. For miles. Miles. Miles. Miles...

Doc Miles!

Doc Miles is calling.

Answer. Talk. Doc's talking. Explains how Chev is feeling. Energy. Unhinged. Massive erection. Check, check, check. Doc Miles hands up and Chev finds himself next to a crowd gathered around a TV, where he stops and watches with them. It's describing a mad man on the loose in LA, killing everyone, and shows an artists sketch of Jason Statham, who Chev happens to look a lot like. He also gets a call from Eve, his girlfriend, who's been sleeping in all day. She's also been targeted by Verona's thugs, but she doesn't know that. Chev assumes this, though, and decides to head over. He goes to her place on a stoel Cop motorcycle (which he drives like a maniac to stay alert) and then hoofs it when he crashes that.

It was either half-naked Chev on a motorcycle or Eve in her panties. Hope I made the right choice.

She's not even dressed when Chev gets there. All she's doing is programming her microwave. When Chev tries to hurry her along, she asks him to fix it, and he starts too-but something so boring can only mean one thing. His vision starts to deteriorate again as his heart slows down. He looks around desperately and Eve mentions that the waffle iron is on. He looks at it, shoves his hand in, and closes the lid. She finally comes back, and he tries to hurry her out but... the phone rings. She answers it, but Chev knows it's someone at the front gate, calling to see if they're there. He bolts, opens the gate, breaks the dude's head, and runs back before Eve even notices he's gone. As they walk out, another thug comes, so Chev tilts her bag over and knocks the guy out into the pool. He helps her with everything, and they head out to Chinatown.

Asian people are so nice when they're about to get assassinated.

Over a tirade of hiccups and giggles from Eve, Chev explains what's happening. He isn't really a game programmer- he's a killer, and he's taking heat for a hit that he didn't do. He'd been right behind Don Kim, his target, but he let him go, told him to hide for 48 hours. Continuing, Chev explains it was because of Eve, because he sees a future with her, he sees them going away together. At least, until he got poisoned. Now, he may go somewhere, but he can't take her with him. Eve only hears "I'm going somewhere and you're not", apparently, and understands it as a break-up attempt. She storms out, telling him how weird he is, and he follows until he starts collapsing. Energy fleeing again... he's desperate, and he grabs at her, asking her to make love with him. She says no (still angry) until he falls to the floor. She climbs over him, checking how he is, and he rips her dress, starts kissing her, and this finally gets her into it.

Details skipped, but needless to say, we get the notion that our hero is rather well endowed, but can't get it up at first until he sees a bus of Asian schoolgirls. To each his own. We join them as she's bent over a newspaper and a call comes in for him...

It's Kaylo (nothing like a gay man calling you mid-sex, eh?), saying he knows where Verona is and gives him directions. Chev pulls away from Eve, says he'll call, and gets in a taxi, leaving her alone in a dress that's falling apart.

Chev takes a cab to the address, but starts to get groggy and unable to hold himself. The cabbie notices and pulls out something from his glove compartment. It's some kind of plant shit, he says, and Chev decides to trust a random cab driver and takes it. Oddly, it slows him down, puts him to sleep, but still keeps him from dying somehow.

Meanwhile, there's a cut of Kaylo getting killed. It's an ambush waiting for Chev.

I wish Jason Statham would protect ME!

After getting to the warehouse they're in, Chev finds that Kaylo has been killed and that several thugs are there. He takes one out and ambushes the others, who explain they're not Verona's men. They're Carlito's. Carlito thinks he's crazy, a greater threat if left alive, and has put a hit out on him. They're convincing Chev to just lay down and die when the elevator opens and Eve pops out. Taking the opportunity, Chev kills one of the guards, uses Kaylo's body as a shield, and escapes into the elevator. They go downstairs, Chev kills some more people and shoves one guy's hand into a sewing machine (at least he survives) and the two escape to Doc Miles’ place, where Doc Miles does the best he can to subdue Chev. There, Doc Miles tells Chev that he can’t do much anymore to help him. Chev asks for one hour, so that he can get his revenge on Verona, who agrees with Chev to meet at Carlito’s penthouse.

Words are scary.

Doc Miles comes up with the method of pumping in Epinephrine, saline and meth using an insuline pumpto keep Chev alive without having to constantly adrenalize himself, and saddles him with some pills as well. He downs some in the elevator up to the penthouse, and the Asian businessman in the elevator turns to talk to him. Only he's weirdly knowledgable about everything, and Chev notices he can read the subtitles translating him. His voice switches between characters, and he offers a look into Chev's psyche until the hallucinations stop and he's just a regular businessman. Exiting the elevator, Chev finds himself facing Carlito, Verona and a cadre of thugs. There, Carlito attempts to inject Chev with even more of the poison, and Chev taunts Verona about being Carlito's bitch. Verona gets angry, and Carlito shuts him up and starts walking towards Chev with the poison.

Chev holds up a hand in the shape of a gun. It scares the thugs approaching him. But it's just a hand. So they come closer. Chev makes a gun noise, acts like there's recoil, and a bullet hole appears in the thug's head. Everyone freaks out.

It's ok, the blood will match the carpet

Turns out it was Don Kim, the man Chev saved, and several of his men. A gun fight ensues, and Chev attempts to kill both Carlito and Verona. Unfortunately, Chev begins deteriorating again (they took his insulin pump), which makes it harder for him to hit Verona, who's an extremely easy target. Carlito, however, darted at the first chance he got. Chev follows, and Verona, who has the poison, doubles back and starts to follow Chev. As Chev is about to kill Carlito, Verona injects the poison into Chev’s neck, causing him to collapse. Verona then shoots Carlito several times, exclaiming “Who’s the bitch now?!” The helicopter starts to take off, when Chev suddenly grows a pair, grabs the helicopter, and holds on as it takes off.

"I'll take 2 cheese pizzas."

Verona and Chev start fighting, and Chev's got the lower hand- he has to dangle from a helicopter AND battle someone who's currently in better physical condition. So Chev just grabs him and pulls him out of the helicopter, where they both start falling. Chev gets a good hold of Verona’s neck and begins choking him out before breaking Verona’s neck. Chev makes a final call before his death, to Eve, and he catches her voicemail. He leaves a sad message and a final note of love, then falls into the Los Angeles streets. He lands on a car, bounces off, and lands on his face. After a little, we hear two heart beats and he blinks his eyes. Chev Chelios is still alive… OR IS HE (he is, because there’s a sequel.)

Development

Rollerskates and handheld cameras. That's the height of technology seen through most of Crank, for all

*sigh* Just hanging out...

the high-octane, super fast, close focused shots that we see. While one director was getting a wide shot, the other was getting all the close-ups, using rollerblades to hold onto cars and motorcycles to make it easier for him to keep up. They also had rigs hooked up to attach the camera to people (namely, Statham) and get those stumbling shots of him from that up-close, hyper-shaky angle.

Budget was extremely small for this movie, and wherever they could cut, they did. For example, Statham did his own fights and stunts, even a lot of the helicopter stuff at the end. All of the effects otherwise were practical, using squibs, no wires, and very little CG (biggest exception is the car hitting the escalator). The cameras they filmed on weren't even movie-quality, but consumer products from a Best Buy. Most of the budget seems to have been spent on music licensing, as the soundtrack is rather full.

Casting went as usually described in movies- namely, they had auditions and found the person who was 'perfect for it'. Most notable of these is Efren Ramirez, who played Kaylo, as he was attempting to branch out and play something more serious after Napoleon Dynamite. Jason Statham was approached by the directors, though, but he wasn't sure about it, and was reportedly very nervous, saying that he couldn't handle any of the dialogue or any of the jokes. The directors kept him at it, and it's likely the movie wouldn't have happened if he'd not been included, thanks to his help with the stunts.

The movie was shot on location in LA.

Marketing, Release and Reception

Nope, still morally obligated to not show more pictures of the Chinatown scene.

Marketing was a bit light, as it just wasn't in the budget for the film. The directors, Statham, and Efren Ramirez appeared at San Diego Comic Con, where they showed off a clip and talked about how all of it was done with no CG and no wires. The rest of the marketing was viral, utilizing Youtube with special developer spots, even appearing on the vlogs of a member named biostudentgirl to promote the film.

The film released on September 1, 2006 and earned $3.3 million on its first day. It opened second that weekend (behind Invincible), and went on to earn around $15 million in America, getting to around $43 million worldwide. On such a small budget, it was a success.

Reception was surprisingly positive, and the movie sits at a 61, barely fresh, at Rotten Tomatoes. A lot of critics pointed out that the movie is crass, childish, excessively violent, had no morals and was degrading to women, but it charged so gleefully into it that they were able to overlook their usual hang-ups and go along with the ride.

Video games

The charming title card

No, there's no Crank game, but it does feature a weird amount of references to games. The title card is a 16-bit heart beating, for example. Aside from that, it shows a lot of arcade game boot up screens, most notably Robotron 2084. There's a bit of obvious video game fakery in Verona's car at one point by a henchman, but that henchman really is playing Berzerk in the car. The human graphic of Berzerk is displayed on the bathroom Chev enters at the end, too. A lot of reviewers described the film as a live-action video game, too, just in terms of the speed, violence, and single goal: get to the boss and defeat him. Lastly, there's a scene after the credits of 16-bit Chev killing gangsters in a side-scrolling area (and I never knew that until now).

Satire

You read that right. The film is supposed to be a satire (in spots) of LA high life, according to the directors. This is actually rather obvious in some spots, such as the amount of naked ladies draping from rich people's houses and the scene on the roof at the end, where there are women who are literally used as decoration. There's also the part in the bathroom at the end, where there's monkeys projected on the ceiling having sex for absolutely no reason. There's also a lady who seems to be showing off some kind of weird S M thing to someone in the middle of the hotel lobby.

It's also easy to see, as a lot of critics did, that its over-the-top, never-stop attitude is a satire of modern action movies, taking it to an extreme to show how ridiculous they are.

Talk about a ridiculously accurate quote.

TThe original DVD that came out was a lame, no-frills, only movie job, so eh. The special edition that came out later, though, featured everything you wanted from a DVD and came out January 9, 2007. It had a running commentary, cast and crew interviews, filming insights and anecdotes, and behind-the-scenes footage, all part of one commentary available as "Cranked Out Mode". It features picture-in-picture displays as the crew talks about the movie and shows what happened. The movie also features a "TV" mode, where all the spoken language is censored, though violence and subtitles and sex are all still there in the same amounts.

Sequel

Check it here.