Happy happy joy joy, folks! This week’s list is almost nothing but good news! Retaining the top spot is Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy with only a 25% drop and £2.1 million in ticket sales, destroying second place. So some slightly negative word of mouth (“It’s booooring!” “It’s confuuuuusing!” “I have no good taste in moooooviees!”) couldn’t stop the intelligent, thoughtful, slow-burning masterpiece (or, so I’ve heard) from keeping number 1.
As for the new entries; Crazy, Stupid, Love (what is it with films featuring commas, nowadays?) won out with £860,000 for second place. Warrior would have closely followed it into third place with £808,000… But that was released on a Wednesday. So it instead took £622,000 and drops to fourth. Killer Elite depressingly only came in seventh with £481,000, possibly detailing two depressing things to the world. 1] The world is finally sick of Jason Statham movies. 2] Yvonne Strahovski’s career is dead in the water once Chuck finishes. And I can tell you for a fact the answers to those statements are, “Hell no!” and “You’re dead to me for even thinking that” respectively.
But the big winner of the week was Drive. Sure, it only made fifth place and £600,000, but that was from 176 screens with a per screen average of £3,451. Which, for an 18 rated wide release-ish movie, is fantastic! Well done, Screened community and people of the UK! Let’s try and make it stick for the next few weeks!
Finally, on the preliminary round-up, Jurassic Park was re-released on 276 screens and made a sh*tty £245,422 for eleventh place. Soul Surfer opened on 149 screens, made £47,293 and everybody laughed this Christian propaganda piece right outta town. Mauasam, the week’s Indian movie, made £188,488 on 42 screens. And I Don’t Know How She Does It completely dropped off the top 10 list. And not one single f*ck was given.
Crazy, Stupid, Full, List.
UK Box Office Results: 23rd September - 25th September 2011
|1. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy|
£2,104,762 / £6,924,269
Here comes an actual, real zero star review of this movie off of the VUE website where the film currently sits with a 3 and a half star average score.
"The most boring, slow-moving film I've ever seen. Confusing flashbacks, too many characters to keep track of and I didn't understand what was going on at all. I feel asleep half-way through and only stuck it out because my boyfriend wanted to watch it all! It hasn't inspired me to read the book at all. Dull dull dull."
Stupid? Idiotic? Moron? You be the judge.
|2. Crazy, Stupid, Love.|
£860,112 / NEW
So people prefer "Suave, Sexy" Ryan Gosling to "Quite Possibly The Finest Actor Of His Generation" Ryan Gosling. Or, rather, cinema chains prefer that Ryan Gosling. Good to know (!)
|3. The Inbetweeners Movie|
£754,226 / £43,284,169
Inching ever closer to becoming the second highest grossing movie of the year. It’s basically unstoppable at this point. The question isn’t "If it'll beat The King's Speech" it's "When will it beat The King's Speech?"
£622,029 / £808,410 / NEW
So this'll probably bomb. Shame, really. I like the look of it. In fact, why can't I watch this too? Why can't I go to the cinema? "Dad, why can't I go to the cinema? I need to review, gorram it!"
£607,454 / NEW
Need further proof that humanity doesn't deserve nice things? This is currently sitting on a 2 and a half star average on VUE's website. Here's the most scathing review.
"i am so dissapointed with this film ! i thought it was going to be so good because of all the raiting it had got from flixster rotten tomatoes !! paid for VIP and it was so not worth it ! the film was so slowwww ! take ages to the get to the point and when it did the film finished ! the ending was stupid ! everything about it was rubbish. me and my bf gt so confused through out the film. there wasnt even much driving scene !! even doe it called drive !! HATE IT !!!!1"
Just goes to show; you make two of the best contenders for Film Of The Year, and the douchebag, moronic, grammar Nazi public will spit them back in your face whilst screaming, "BWING MI MOAR TRANSFORMERS!!"
|6. Friends with Benefits|
£580,641 / £5,309,886
|7. Killer Elite|
£481,143 / NEW
Now; I know that nobody on this site has ever said otherwise, but just in case, here’s proof that Yvonne Strahovski can act!
|8. Jane Eyre|
£445,455 / £3,884,955
The Kids Are Alright is on Sky Movies Premiere right now. Do you lot think it's worth watching? I'm intrigued by it, but uncertain.
|9. The Smurfs|
£410,817 / £15,954,669
Finally! Finally! F*cking finally! We're saying goodbye to The Smurfs! It's over! The nightmare is finally over! Oh, somebody kiss me!
|10. The Change-Up|
£378,226 / £1,631,363
Let it be known; that on this weekend, more people wanted to watch a baby projectile sh*t into Jason Bateman's mouth than the theatrical re-release of a movie that is infinitely better but most people already own on about seventy different formats and have watched about 68 times already!
Truly... mankind is f*cked (!)
jackanderson's standing in line to see the show tonight and there’s a light on.