Someone actually came together and hired actors and actresses to make this movie. It's about a kid who dies and how his older brother decides he's gonna be the best damn footballer ever to memorialize him. This is like...if they made a television channel that was like Lifetime, but for guys, they'd show Rudy, Miracle, and Field Of Dreams on repeat all day long. And then The 5th Quarter would play at like 4 AM to fill time.
|1. Madea's Big Happy Family|
Hey, it's another Madea movie. Didn't catch this one in theaters? Well, don't worry, because I'm sure there'll be another one in a few weeks.
So Disney made a movie for $8 million and it made it to $10 million at the box office. That's not quite the return on investment that they must've been looking for, when you consider that theaters take half off the top, and the marketing budget. I miss the days when Disney Channel films would actually air on the Disney Channel.
|3. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara|
I have no clue what this movie's about, but it made like three million dollars. I'm betting it involves singing.
|4. The 5th Quarter|
So some kid dies in a car accident and his brother decides he's gonna play football REAL GOOD LIKE. As bilutenegre says on Youtube: "worst movie ever i wasted 2 hours of my life for this piece of shit"
|5. Forks Over Knives|
Apparently we're not supposed to have tasty meat, and instead should rely on plants for sustenance. If cows didn't want us to eat them, though, why do they make themselves so tasty?
|6. If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front|
Don't like the way big corporations are treating the Earth? Go blow up a housing development! That'll show em. Or maybe you could tell people to watch this movie. I'm curious as to the number of people interviewed in black rooms with voice modulation. Over/under for the movie? I'm going with six.
|7. The Perfect Host|
This is the David Hyde Pierce "Oh, you broke into my home only to discover that I'm a murderer" movie that made around 40 grand in its theatrical run.
I thought this looked pretty dire in trailer form, but I was surprised to see that it only made 10,000 bucks in theaters. If I tried pretty hard, I could save up that amount of money. That's not a good sign when your movie makes as much money as I could potentially have in my bank account.
Now we're just getting to the sad part of this DVD list, as this movie - which stars former Oscar winner Adrian Brody - made $5,255 in two weeks of release. It can't even crack the top 10,000 highest-grossing American films list. I'll watch it, because I like me some Brody, but I'll probably grimace if the reviews are any indication.
This straight-to-DVD horror tale apparently tells the story of a boy who's been kidnapped...and FORCED TO MURDER MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I might be lying; I only read enough of the description to the point where I could plausibly put this paragraph together.
|11. House M.D.|
In TV sets, we have: House: Season 7, Nikita: Season One, Cougar Town: Season Two, Desperate Housewives: Season 7, Sons of Anarchy: Season Three, and The Vampire Diaries: Season Two