The Smurfs wasn't the end of the world; it just was in no way an entertainment that had any reason to exist. As such, it of course made $560 million worldwide and had a sequel greenlit quicker than you stopped being amused by Kim Kardashian marriage jokes. It didn't make me want to bash anyone's head in, but good lord, how many jokes about falling down can one movie have? I think we've all seen enough movies at this point to know about the value of believing in yourself. I, personally, have decided to stop believing in myself in the hope that these movies will start being more relevant to me.
Other movies releasing this week, and again I swear these are all true:
- Bikini Time Machine
- Dino Wolf
- Sexual Witchcraft
- Flying Guillotine 2
 | 1. The Smurfs Another curious Friday release, because people SO ANTICIPATE the Smurfs DVD that they're going to go nab a copy on Friday rather than bear to head to the store on Tuesday with the rest of the peons. |
 | 2. Our Idiot Brother I've heard this movie's pretty mellow, man. I've also heard it's not particularly uproarious or anything, but is a pretty good time if you like the actors and aren't expecting to laugh every damn second or anything like that. |
 | 3. 30 Minutes or Less Now, here's a movie that's just plain disappointing, given the pedigree and the actors involved. It had its moments, but they were few and far between, leaving mostly a bunch of boring stuff in between. Avoid. |
 | 4. One Day I've heard this movie's kind of insufferable, but I still kind of want to see it. Does that make me a bad person? I suppose there might be a Sidegrades between it and Like Crazy at some point. We'll see! |
 | 5. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil This movie looked like a lot of fun, and I wish I had seen it in theaters, even if the red-band trailer looked like it spoiled a bit of the good parts. Still, I only saw the trailer once, and I mostly forgot it, so we'll see how it goes, shall we? |
 | 6. Another Earth Another disappointment, even if I never wound up reviewing it. I'm not even so mad that the whole "there's another world" idea wound up mostly being taken less literally than as an extension of the lead character's guilt; I just wish it had gone to more interesting places than it did. |
 | 7. The Future I guess this wound up having a micro-release but never really expanded beyond that: it was at the San Francisco Film Festival, but I'm not sure it ever even came out into theaters anywhere around here. It looked super indie and twee and cute and maybe too much so! |
 | 8. Cave of Forgotten Dreams Don't have a Lescaux, man: just check out this Werner Herzog movie about cave paintings instead. Thanks folks, tip your waitresses: I'll be here all my life! |
 | 9. The Art of Getting By Previously known as Homework. Youth romantic dramas make me just want to punch everyone in the face. Things get a lot harder in your 30's, kids. But maybe that's because I punch people in the face so often! |
 | 10. Seven Days in Utopia "Seven Days Learning About God Only To Realize That You Made A Movie That Doesn't Have An Ending And You Have To Go To A Website To Watch It," is more like it. |
 | 11. Horror Express This sounds like a fun little riff on The Thing from Another World from Spanish director Eugenio Martin. It's apparently in the public domain, but is getting a Blu-Ray release, of all things! |
 | 12. 30 Rock In television DVDs, we have 30 Rock: Season Five, Smallville: The Complete Series (and the Complete Tenth Season), The Girls Next Door: The Complete Series, and Hot In Cleveland: Season Two. |
