It's a weird week for DVDs, as the entire new releases segment of this week's list has made something like seven million bucks total at the box office, the kind of money that Michael Bay loses in a restroom when change comes out of his pocket when he sits down. Still, 13 Assassins looks like it'll be worth a rental, and a bunch of you will probably feel like giving Hobo With A Shotgun a twirl, too. Uwe Boll makes his triumphant return to mediocrity, a mediocre television show comes to DVD, and there are some bizarre two-movie DVD choices on the docket, as well.
 | 1. Of Gods and Men At a massive gross of four million dollars, this is the biggest film coming out on DVD this week in America. As a "boy, it sure is hard for Christians and Muslims to get along" piece, I'm sure it's enlightening and uplifting. |
 | 2. Thirteen Assassins I kept meaning to go see this during the solid month it was at the single-screen theater near my house, but alas, I never managed to do so. I hear good things about it, though, so now that it's out on DVD I'll be sure to add it to my Netflix queue. |
 | 3. Hobo with a Shotgun This seems like the kind of movie you might put on, muted, in the background of a party to let people who are not talking to anyone have a laugh. Maybe that sounds dismissive, but hey, it's called Hobo With A Shotgun, so I doubt I'm doing it a big disservice. |
 | 4. Bloodrayne: The Third Reich Uwe Boll has delightfully faded into obscurity lately, managing to not gain any publicity for his no-doubt controversial opinions or actions. Or, at least, I haven't been paying attention to him. Let's all band together and pretend this direct-to-DVD third film in the Bloodrayne series doesn't exist. The Clint Howard-starring trailer certainly helps in that regard. |
 | 5. The Cape Let's pour one out for the death of superhero television. Or heck, let's not and say we did. If you don't feel like buying The Cape, you can always get one of these fantastic television DVD sets: Tim & Eric: Seasons 1-5, Metalocalypse: Seasons 1-3, Eureka: Season 4, According To Jim: Season 4, Boy Meets World: Season Six. |
 | 6. Once In the annals of "movies that shouldn't belong in a two-pack DVD set," Once and That Thing You Do might seem like a good candidate; sure, they're both about struggling young musicians, but that's about where the similarities end. But that's before you realize that someone, somewhere thought that Gentleman Prefer Blondes and Moulin Rouge should share a box. Or, hell, young people have relationships that don't always end well; let's put Romeo + Juliet and (500) Days Of Summer in the same gift set. I...guess? |
