Everybody Saw All the Shitty Movies This Weekend, and Other Reasons to Pray for Humanity's Swift End

Topic started by Alex on Feb. 12, 2012. Last post by Still_I_Cry 1 year, 3 months ago.
Post by President_Barackbar (525 posts) See mini bio
@MrMazz said:

Alex I am one of those people who saw Star Wars. I didn't like the 3D I did the Tested mod for the glasses, I just wanted to see Star Wars on the big screen again!!! Now I won't be seeing Ep 2 because fuck that movie but man pod race scene still awesome.

Oh, you'll go out and see Ep I, but Ep II is where you draw the line? What gives? THEY ALL SUCK
Post by Jesus (315 posts) See mini bio

You messed up by gaining hope in the American movie viewing audience again, Alex.

Post by obscurefan (450 posts) See mini bio

Damn, Daaaamn, DAAAAAAAMN

Post by MrMazz (1,541 posts) See mini bio

@President_Barackbar: because Ep 1 and 3 don't have a entire subplot of the movie that makes me want to fast foward or utterly erase!!!

Post by jonny126 (6 posts) See mini bio

This was the most entertaining box office report I've ever read. Kudos Alex.

That being said, you those people should be ashamed, I mean come on, THE PHANTOM F**KING MENACE!?!?! I feel good that I dragged a large group of my friends out and convinced them to ditch the terrible movies, and instead we had a back-to-back-to-back viewing of Chronicle, Woman in Black, and The Grey. Great movies and people insist on seeing the Vow. Unbelievable.

Post by Alex (325 posts) See mini bio
Moderator

@vinsanityv22: Actually, I believe I said in my review that for as much as the film history stuff is cool, the journey of the boy at the center of the movie is just as great. Not to mention that I've been excited for any number of different kid/family oriented films around here. Appreciate that you find my dislike of a movie featuring The Rock popping his pecs to try and distract you from the horrible production values and barely existent story snobby, but you know what? If hating Journey 2 makes me a snob, then I'll wear that title with pride. Put it on a t-shirt. I'll wear it around town and skip merrily while doing so.

Also, Denzel been in this movie game long before Clooney. It's Denzel's house. George is just living in it.

Post by iAmJohn (90 posts) See mini bio

@MrMazz said:

@President_Barackbar: because Ep 1 and 3 don't have a entire subplot of the movie that makes me want to fast foward or utterly erase!!!

Yeah, it just had other shit that makes you want to fast-forward the film, like every single fucking time a character opens their mouth.

Post by Undeadpool (713 posts) See mini bio

@Jesus said:

You messed up by gaining hope in the American movie viewing audience again, Alex.

I'm going to say it's moviegoing audiences in general since the foreign market continue to make Uwe Boll's movies profitable.

@Hailinel said:

There are people in their early twenties that were kids when The Phantom Menace was released. That audience more than anyone probably had a desire to see it in the theater again.

DING! DING! DING! We have a winnah!

As much as "old" fogies like us want to forget: the prequels were some kids' FIRST STAR WARS EXPERIENCE. Or at least their first memorable one. And they have nostalgia for it, even viewing it pleasantly, because they never bothered to look up Mr. Plinkett's reviews.

Post by ThePickle (2,855 posts) See mini bio

There is still a fairly sizable portion of people for whom the Star Wars prequels are childhood favorites. The fact that it made money is not surprising in the slightest.

Post by sureokay (322 posts) See mini bio

I saw Insidious over the weekend. I also saw Shame. I was going to see the Artist, but there were literally ZERO parking spots at the theater. So, don't look at me.

Post by FinalDasa (2,775 posts) See mini bio
Staff

I saw Phantom Menace, in 3D even, and not ashamed of it. Granted I'm a sucker for most things Star Wars. I may wait until Revenge to see another one and just watch Attack of the Clones at home for free.

I personally like Phantom Menace mostly and don't think the prequels are that horrifyingly bad.

Post by MrMazz (1,541 posts) See mini bio

@iAmJohn: and your point is

Post by BaconGames (100 posts) See mini bio

Ugh! Another brilliant piece of biting and entertaining literature from Alex Navarro.

Post by HT101 (350 posts) See mini bio

I went and saw Star Wars with my little cousin who's 10 years old and he loved it. I was reminded why Episode 1 sucks but the action scenes were really awesome to see in theaters again and that is why I'll be seeing all of the movies in theaters.

Post by Jesus (315 posts) See mini bio

@Undeadpool said:

@Jesus said:

You messed up by gaining hope in the American movie viewing audience again, Alex.

I'm going to say it's movie going audiences in general since the foreign market continue to make Uwe Boll's movies profitable.

I stand corrected.

Post by Radio_Resistance (131 posts) See mini bio

To be fair to us movie goers, I have a suspicion every female dragged their friends or significant others to see The Vow against their will. It's not totally their fault.

Though on Alex's advice, I took somebody to see Chronicle without seeing any trailers or reading reviews. The 4/5 rating and good word on the street was enough to push me into the theatre and I do not regret it one bit. I think I will never actively try to watch a movie trailer, because movies become instantly 5x better when you go in blind.

Post by hrn212 (77 posts) See mini bio

@sunalso: Holy crap.

Post by TheHumanDove (125 posts) See mini bio

Alex you knew this day would come

Post by WizardShazam (27 posts) See mini bio

Man, that was the most Alex Navarro write up I have read in a while. Kudos.

I happen to be one of those mid-20-somethings that loved Star Wars and saw Phantom Menace at midnight opening night. Over two hours, I managed to go from a wide eyed youth, excited at the prospect of seeing a new Star Wars movie in the theatre, to an upset teen, wondering if the entirety of the saga was bad and I had just been an easily impressionable pre-teen the first time I saw them. So I rewatched the original trilogy and was relieved that no, those movies are still awesome, Episode 1 just fucking sucks.

tl;dr - The prequel trilogy is a plague that is so bad it is infecting the original films and I will not be contributing a single second or cent of my time or money to it.

Post by roger778 (339 posts) See mini bio
Alex, you have the most hilarious and twisted writing style I have ever read on any Web Site. Ever! Yet, I'm flabbergasted that you pretty much hated every movie that came out this weekend. Except for Safe House that is. Journey 2 doesn't look that bad, from what I've seen on the trailers, and I plan to see it, as well as Denzel's new movie. Let's just hope we get some better movies next week.
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