Remember that Gizmodo story from a few weeks ago? (I'd link it, but christ do I never want to visit Gizmodo ever again.) Where the girl dated a guy on OkCupid and decided she hated the thought of going out with someone who played Magic professionally, and turned it into something like a million pageviews?
I wanna be that guy.
Well, that’ll probably never happen, but this should be fun: I am going to crowdsource my online dating profile. That sounds like a horrible idea even as I type this, and it probably is, but let’s see how well you guys really know me. I have had OkCupid profiles before, but I never bother to log in after a while (mostly due to a horrible work/life balance that sees me either working on something on Screened or worrying about something on Screened most of my waking hours), so I figure I might be able to keep my interest up if I make it into a game, and it seems to work for my friends. As such, you guys are going to write my profile for me, and I’ll do my best to keep you abreast of any developments. I’ll likely fold whatever happens (and I wouldn’t expect much) into future Ramblin’ Rorie episodes, so it might wind up being a subscriber-only feature, but it should be entertaining.
You can check out what an OkCupid profile looks like here. All you basically have to do is either go to my Biography page here on screened, and edit the questions that OkCupid uses for a profile or, if that devolves into an edit war, you can make a topic on my forum and answer the questions as you see fit. Here are the categories that OkCupid makes you fill out:
- My Self-Summary
- What I'm Doing With My Life
- I'm Really Good At
- The First Things People Usually Notice About Me
- Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music, And Food
- The Six Things I Could Never Do Without
- I Spend A Lot Of Time Thinking About
- On A Typical Friday Night I Am
- The Most Private Thing I'm Willing To Admit
- You Should Message Me If
Answer any of those questions as you imagine I might. Or as you imagine the ideal Matt Rorie, ladies man, might. Be inventive and creative, because I have no time to be. I'm counting on you, here.
I’ll take care of all the personal factoids (height/weight/religion) and the questions/answers on the site, so all you need to do is fill out the rest of these questions as you suspect I might, or, perhaps more entertainingly, answer them in the vein of whomever edited my Screened profile and made me sound like the bastard offspring of Chuck Norris and Athena. Whatever you do, don’t use my real name, don’t refer to Screened.com specifically, and you should probably make sure that not every answer is nothing but “puppy puppy puppy,” because that’ll get old right quick.
You can also submit your favorite pictures of me in this thread, or a thread on my personal board, and we’ll see if I use them in the profile. Whatever wacky good stuff you can capture from videos, perhaps. Nothing too embarrassing, I should hope.
This is an absolutely retarded idea and I am fascinated by how it might turn out.