Off-Topic

My experiences with the Internet over the past week have been pretty sucky. For all the time I spend on the computer, I'm still sort of a wide-eyed and inexperienced optimist when it comes to the Internet, and some people feel the need to break me down as fast as possible. I recognize it isn't a nice place, but it doesn't stop me from getting dejected when the racial slurs get hurled in the middle of a Super Monday Night Combat match or threads devolve into opinionated bitch-fests. The fact that I have a hard time figuring out intent on the internet certainly doesn't help. So once again, I turn to the Screened community; the only one I've ever actually stuck with.What am I doing wrong? To phrase that question better: The internet is only getting nastier, and I'm ill-equipped to deal with it. What are some tips to not let the less-savory bits of the internet under my skin?

You have to realize a good portion of the internet is desolate or full of scum. You have to find the nice oasis or two and make them your homes.

My local paper/local news have their own website where I go for local and state news and every single time I read those comments I get infuriated. You just have to know where to go and where to be careful.

@gelatinabomination: There is almost nothing you really can do in this regard. Even the "nicest" forums are going to eventually be filled with someone who has hateful things to say.

If you want some recommendations, though, I like Reddit a fair amount. The troll-ish, harmful posts generally get downvoted quite quickly, leaving mostly positive stuff to come to the top. If you find some subreddits that you like, you might find yourself making some good friend (Internet friends, but still) in them.

Also, and as much as I like Giantbomb, I also like the forums on Shacknews.com quite a bit for gaming and other discussion. People are pretty smart, and they will jump on ill-informed opinions, but for the most part people are pretty nice.

A thick skin is almost a necessity for dealing with the internet and the people on it. People are really, really horrific when they think that there's no ramifications for their words. Screened, at least, is mostly kindly, and there are a few other places with good moderation where the same can be said, but for the most part I simply avoid the comments sections of most websites. It's like having Cthulu speak directly into your brain sometimes.

@gelatinabomination: I just agree with what the others say, just stick to websites you already know and I like. I only ever really go on a few sites e.g. Whiskey Media, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, Tumblr, Reddit, Pinterest.

Skip reading comments, especially on anything controversial. I've had to stop reading movie reviews written by the public on websites such as LoveFilm and Netflix because it makes me want to stab myself in the brain. Take everything you read with a pinch of salt and just grow a thick skin. Also start telling people to fuck off! haha.

If anyone is a dick (to you, or others) on a Whiskey Media site just report em. You don't even need flag a message if you don't want. Just send a message to Pat, or Rorie and FinalASSA on Screened and they will deal with it. I've done that a few times myself. If I need anything I usually ask Sparklykiss on Giant Bomb, xerox_kitty on Comic Vine and FoxxFireArt, and Newten on Anime Vice.

@Christina: Despite the nickname (which should have never been resurrected) I'm fairly sure my ASSA would disappoint all this hype.

@gelatinabomination: I pretty much agree with what everyone else in this thread said. The most important things are to have a think skin and to find a few sites where you feel comfortable. I've found that since discovering WM, my time spent on other sites has plummeted. I don't even like going to Facebook anymore, because most of my Facebook friends are idiots.

@FinalDasa: Ha, "ASSA."

If someone is being a dick to you don't bother responding and just ignore them, that's usually the way I deal with the internet.

@FinalDasa said:

You have to realize a good portion of the internet is desolate or full of scum.

That's really harsh. I think the thing to keep in mind is that many of the people saying nasty things on the internet are actually just very immature kids who are lashing out, in part to hide their own insecurities. This is especially true of websites for things like gaming, which will attract a younger audience. I know this in part from experience.

Once you think of it this way, it might be a little easier to not take things personally and just skate by the more obscene comments. These people are lost in a dark hole of their own, so there's no need for you to slip down in there with them.

I generally try and be nice and reasonable with people at all times. You get some suprising reactions when someone has sent you a rude reply to a comment you have made and you reply politely and respectfully. Generally people calm down and act like adults.

I think the general mode of communication on the internet is to be shouty and disrespectful and when people are confronted with someone acting against these norms it reminds them of how they normally behave to strangers in real life and they become more friendly.

Try it, for the most part you can't win arguments online cos people won't back down or admit fault so there is little satisfaction be had in this respect, however turning a rude poster from insult to reasonable debate is suprisingly satisfying. It doesn't always work though. :)

For the most part the best thing to do is to find a few websites that aren't filled with dicks (unless you are searching for porn of course) and stick with them.

@leebmx said:

I generally try and be nice and reasonable with people at all times. You get some suprising reactions when someone has sent you a rude reply to a comment you have made and you reply politely and respectfully. Generally people calm down and act like adults.

I think the general mode of communication on the internet is to be shouty and disrespectful and when people are confronted with someone acting against these norms it reminds them of how they normally behave to strangers in real life and they become more friendly.

Try it, for the most part you can't win arguments online cos people won't back down or admit fault so there is little satisfaction be had in this respect, however turning a rude poster from insult to reasonable debate is suprisingly satisfying. It doesn't always work though. :)

This, 100%. Spot on.

@FinalDasa: Hey! Hey!...HEY! HEY! HEY!...there's a part of your name that resembles vulgar slang for the buttocks!...hehehehehe!

@gelatinabomination: Turn your mic volume all the way down. If you absolutely need the mic to play the game, then unfortunately you're going to have to just grit your teeth and bear it. I had someone "Hope that Hitler comes back to kill my entire Jew family" on Super Street Fighter IV because I committed the cardinal sin of using throws with a grappler character. Beyond that, have you tried the Assassin's Creed multiplayer? I've actually found it to be really mellow and laid back in terms of community. Maybe because it's SO different from almost anything else out there or maybe it's because subterfuge and subtlety are rewarded much more than screeching and twitch-reflexes, but I've had almost universally positive experiences (except for once when I won a round in the last ten seconds and was greeted with a high-pitched shriek in the lobby. Which, to be fair, was HILARIOUS.)

@leebmx said:

I generally try and be nice and reasonable with people at all times. You get some suprising reactions when someone has sent you a rude reply to a comment you have made and you reply politely and respectfully. Generally people calm down and act like adults.

I think the general mode of communication on the internet is to be shouty and disrespectful and when people are confronted with someone acting against these norms it reminds them of how they normally behave to strangers in real life and they become more friendly.

Try it, for the most part you can't win arguments online cos people won't back down or admit fault so there is little satisfaction be had in this respect, however turning a rude poster from insult to reasonable debate is suprisingly satisfying. It doesn't always work though. :)

Exactly what I was going to say, except even better. n_n

@FinalDasa: Well I wasn't the one who brought the name back... !

Thanks to everybody who replied to this thread. I definitely need thicker skin when it comes to the internet- I'm way too sensitive. I'll take your advice to heart, though. Thanks for reminding me why I've stuck with Screened since the beginning!

The only way to avoid internet assholes is to avoid any site with MBs.

I consider myself to be a reasonably nice guy, but that changes in the presence of ignorance and assholes. Unfortunately, you can't swing a dead cat w/o hitting ignorance or assholes, sooo...