Screened/Gaintbomb "Tournement of legends"

Topic started by Shrevey3 on Oct. 5, 2010. Last post by ThePickle 2 years, 7 months ago.
Post by Shrevey3 (23 posts) See mini bio
With the Matt Rorie vs. Ryan Davis debate being ongoing i thought it would be nice to throw the rest of the guys in the mix, also Norman Chan cause i needed a eighth guy. 
 

 
Ok so for my explanations:
1 Vinny is a lover not a fighter
2 Brad is a lover but he is also a fighter so dont get any ideas
3 Ryan fought a good first match but was too winded for the second one and had to lay down on pile of neatly stacked cardboard boxes (see video: how to move a bomb)   
4 Jeff well...he's Jeff there's really not much to say here
5 So this is the way i figured it, Matt inception-ed Alex but then convinced him that this other guys had inception-ed him, then they both inception-ed Alex then i fell asleep and woke up and when i did i learned Alex never got out of his inception!!!! o also that whole thing was a spoiler. 
6 Drew is Swedish.
7 Norm's last name is Chan, do you know who else has last name of Chan? That's right...JADEN SMITH...O wait i mean JACKIE CHAN (<Karate Kid reference) 
 
I invite everybody to make there own brackets, mine was made with the help of Microsoft paint.
Post by sissylion (871 posts) See mini bio
 Note: some staff members aren't included in the bracket, not because of neglect, but because they were either pansies or had actual work to do. 
 
 
First Round: 
  • Though Brad has his Southern fighting experience, Vinny is from New York, and therefore automatically good at hurting people. Also, he has massive guns. 
  • Jeff goes for body blows, but quickly backs down as Ryan starts hitting him in the face and he worries about bruising. 
  • Resilient as Drew may be, Coonce is better at him at both fighting and wearing Snuggies. 
  • After four minutes of being circled by Rorie, Alex gets bored and forfeits the match. 
  • Norm cannot match the sheer strength of a man who can rip through a sauna suit. 
  • Dave slides through to the next round due to not actually being paired up with anyone 
 
Semifinals: 
  • Coonce comes out the winner from this three-man brawl due solely to tact and wit
  • Wily as he may be, Rorie loses due to letting his guard down after being intimidated by Will's bear growl.
  • Dave manages to defeat himself. Somehow. 
 
Final Round: 
  • In a record-breaking two round fight, Coonce ultimately comes out as Whiskey champ due to sheer good looks. And having eight inches on the rest of the staff.  
Post by AlwaysBeClothing (289 posts) See mini bio
@sissylion: You got me pretty good with Dave losing to himself. 
 
Pretty rational break downs of everything, I hope to see Whiskey make this happen for reals soon enough.
Post by Rorie (3,216 posts) See mini bio
Nah, I'd take out the Tested guys with no problems. They're chumps. I bike an hour a day, they play around on their iPads an hour a day. Can't compete!
Post by eshchan (306 posts) See mini bio
@Rorie:  I don't know... I heard Will runs with bare (bear?) feet and norm buffed himself with sugar rush after eating a giant pocky before the fight.
Post by Shrevey3 (23 posts) See mini bio
I still feel that NO ONE can beat "The Chan" 
And i say that not just cause he's Asian, just mostly cause he's Asian.
Post by ThePickle (2,855 posts) See mini bio



1st Round

  • Rorie & Brad: Rorie started the match with his trademark singing, which stunned the already sleepy Brad. Brad's attempts to 6pool, and blame the lag didn't help, and Rorie won the match. 
  • Jeff & Ryan: Ryan's opening body slam did him no favors in this battle of the titans, as Jeff used his immense knowledge of Japanese and took down Ryan. 
  • Drew & Vinny: Drew's hair posed somewhat of a threat to The Italian Stallion himself, Vinny, but V-Pain's black t-shirts countered the hair. Vinny then casted Bufu and took down the Drew. Drew then played Halo to ease the pain of defeat.
  • Will & Alex: Much like Jeff, Alex has a large knowledge of Japanese wrestling techniques. However, Will had his beard and sauna suit equipped, which nullified Alex's lucha mask. Will then proceded to pull out a copy of Big Rigs, which caused Alex to go into the fetal position and he started sobbing. Will finished him off with a copy of Karate Dog.
  • Dave & Ted: Ted started with a predictable, yet effective impression of Bill Cosby, which he followed up with a drawn out discussion of Star Trek. Dave left to play Cryostasis. 
  • Norm & Coonce: Without his Pocky, Norm had to rely on his sauna suit to defend himself against Coonce and his awesomeness. But, Coonce was just too tall for Norm. Norm eased the pain of defeat with Pocky.
 

2nd Round

  • Rorie & Jeff: Rorie immediately went for the groin, but Jeff delivered a devastating galactic kick to Matt's head. Jeff then had some steak in honor of his victory.
  • Vinny & Will: V-Pain was able to knock Will on the ground. He then criticized Will, who he claimed stole his style. Enraged, Will lept up and pulled out a pair of nunchuks. Vinny pulled out his Ninja Staff, which made Will feel emasculated by comparison. Will then forfeited, giving V-Pain another win.
  • Ted & Coonce: Ted's previous tactics had no effect on Coonce, who was busy playing NBA Jam. Ted then pulled out his hit single "I Smell Like A Vault", which made Coonce so happy he cried with joy. The ref mistook this as a cry with pain, and gave Ted the win. Coonce shrugged and played more NBA Jam.
 

3rd Round

  • Jeff & Vinny: Vinny's Bufu did tons of damage to Jeff. In retaliation, Jeff FK'd in Vinny's coffee, but Vinny came back hard with his trademark crazy video editing techniques. Jeff thought his mescaline was kicking in and decided to leave. 
  • Ted: Ted realized he had no one to fight and played NBA Jam with Coonce.
 

Final Round

  • Vinny & Ted: In the epic showdown of Whiskey Media employees, Vinny came out victorious. The black shirts, IPhone apps, and Bufu casting was too much for Ted.   
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