Can I just say that I'm glad I don't have to write up Valentine's day episodes any more? Can I say that without sounding like a forever alone? Probably not, but I'm going to say it anyway.
Anyway, enjoy your human emotions, meatbags! And the following televisual offerings.
 | Whitney NBC 8 PM: "When Whitney disagrees with Mark's theory that couples know if they want to be together within 48 hours of meeting, Alex tries to prove her wrong by recalling the night they met." Maybe he shouldn't even try because women are always right, am I right? [laugh track] Followed by Are You There, Chelsea? at 8:30? |
 | Top Chef BRAVO 10 PM: "The final 4 compete in a Top Chef twist on the Olympic games in Whistler, British Colombia." I could've sworn this was still the Texas Top Chef stuff, but it looks like they've gone to an entirely different country. I'm so confused. |
 | Law & Order: Special Victims Unit NBC 10 PM: "The investigation into a home invasion that ended with two dead leads to a shocking revelation about Detective Rollins." My guess as to the revelation? Detective Rollins is a rapist. |
 | Criminal Minds CBS 9 PM: "The team discovers multiple bodies hidden in lifeguard towers along the coast of Southern California." Surprisingly enough, the bodies are alive, and they're lifeguards. Investigators remain puzzled. |
 | Modern Family ABC 9 PM: "After selling a house to Mitch and Cameron's friends, Claire and Phil plan a celebratory dinner; overindulging in drinks leads to over sharing." Well, we've all been there before. Preceded by The Middle at 8, Suburgatory at 8:30, and followed by Happy Endings at 9:30. |
 | CSI: Crime Scene Investigation CBS 10 PM: "Russell seeks advice from a former colleague during an investigation into the death of a man's ex-girlfriend." Ok. That is something that could happen. Someone also really needs to update the poster for this show. |
