Sharks are, when it comes down to it, horrific creatures. Necessary, perhaps, but you get what you pay for. I'd just ask that you remember that when you choose to watch Shark Week.
That's all I came here to say. Here's tonight's television!
ABC 10 PM: Something something horrible crime, something something rookie confidence shaken. ROOKIE BLUE.
Comedy 10 PM: "Mobius Dick": Leela hunts a four-dimensional space whale, and it becomes an obsession! We'll see if this manages to out-Moby Dick quote Star Trek.
USA 9 PM: Michael and Sam try to rescue a boy who's been kidnapped by his father and taken to a heavily-fortified compound. Reminds me of the time I rescued a boy who had been kidnapped by his father and taken to a heavily-fortified compound.
FX 10 PM: The episode description reads "Ryan must swallow his pride when Wilfred pursues a new love interest." Isn't...isn't Wilfred the dog in this show? What the hell have I been missing here?
FX 10:30 PM: Dane Cook and Bob Saget play themselves as Louie seeks to get tickets to a concert for his daughter. Here's hoping it's not a Dane Cook concert.
ABC 9 PM: Teams race through a Moroccan market! I can't wait to see the hilarious mishap where one of the contestants shoots a guy selling swords because he thinks he's Indiana Jones.
CBS 9 PM: Another houseguest is evicted from the house! A shocking development, or at least it would be if it didn't happen every damn Thursday.