As we waft directly into the eye of the Christmas storm, shows we like have been replaced by reruns and old Christmas movie chestnuts, the appearance of which are like setting of the sun and rising of the moon. If we didn't have various Christmas Carols, Christmas Stories, and Bad Santas to watch, after all, how would we even know what time of year it was? It's not like we could just look at a calendar, or something.
There are a few pieces of new television on tonight, though to say that they may be a bit tough to digest would be an understatement. Tonight's TV offerings are to television what the jalapeno-laden, day-old chimichanga from that sketchy Mexican restaurant down the street that's had a "B" health rating for what feels like seven years is to your stomach. I wish you the best of luck with that.
What to Watch: December 20, 2011
|A Christmas Carol|
|Saturday Night Live Presents: A Very Gilly Christmas|
9PM - NBC - Not only am I just discovering this is a thing, it's apparently a thing that has existed for a while, because this is a repeat. God help us all. Lord, forgive Kristen Wiig, for she knows not what she doth.
9PM - Discovery Channel - Oh, wait, this is back on with new episodes? Awesome! Mike Rowe is at least reliably not shitty. Tonight he's in Utah with palentologists, presumably right before they're approached by a jaunty rich guy in a white suit who wants to bring them all to a fabulous theme park full of actual dinosaurs where several people will die and two unnecessary sequels will eventually spawn forth from. Did I catch it all? Oh, right. Also, Ian Malcolm.
10PM - A&E - Thank god, you guys. There are new episodes of Storage Wars and Storage Wars: Texas (which is exactly like Storage Wars, except racist-er). THE TUESDAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS HAS BEEN SAVED.
|Kathy Griffin: Tired Hooker|
10PM - Bravo - Do you people see what I've been reduced to? The pickings are so slim, I'm actually highlighting a goddamned Kathy Griffin stand-up special! WE'RE DOOOOOOMED.
|Hidden City with Marcus Sakey|
10PM - Travel Channel - In case this season of American Horror Story didn't satisfy your Black Dahlia fetish, tonight's episode of Hidden City investigates that very crime! Also, the secret life of John Holmes, which I imagine will just look a lot like the movie Wonderland and that one scene in Boogie Nights.