I was up late last night finishing the fourth season of Breaking Bad, and I have a headache roughly equivalent to the size of the void left by Whitney's total lack of jokes. Suffice it to say, today's What to Watch might be a bit...punchier than usual. Here's your TV.
|1. Modern Family|
ABC 9 PM: "Mitchell feels pressured to make Cameron's birthday extra special; Jay's manliness comes into question; the girls interfere with Phil's leap day plans." Manliness in question? It really is the 21st century, I guess. Preceded by The Middle and Suburgatory, followed by a new episode of Happy Endings.
NBC 8 PM: "Whitney has an unexpected reaction when confronted with a mugger; Lily tries to keep herself busy after her and Neal's wedding is called off; Mark encourages Neal to talk about his feelings." A man encouraging another man to talk about his feelings? It really is the 21st century, I guess. Followed by Are You There, Chelsea? at 8:30.
|3. Top Chef|
BRAVO 10 PM: SEASON FINALE "For their final challenge, the chefs each take over a restaurant and design a four-course meal to be judged." A four-course meal? It really is the...alright, I'll stop now.
|4. Law & Order: Special Victims Unit|
NBC 10 PM: "Olivia's half-brother shows up looking for help when child services threatens to take his kids away; the investigation into an abandoned baby found by a homeless couple leads to a shocking discovery." I'm guessing...rape!
|5. Criminal Minds|
CBS 9 PM: "The BAU goes to Atlanta to investigate a series of murders, which they believe are being committed by more than one unsub." Unsub means "unknown subject," for you philistines out there who aren't watching Criminal Minds every week like the rest of us.
|6. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation|
CBS 10 PM: "When a child is abducted during a blackout, the team must use old-school methods to try to solve the case." Old school methods like...alright, I'll stop for real this time.
|7. America's Next Top Model|
CW 9 PM: I forgot what the hell was going to happen but I'm guessing..................nope. Not gonna do it. I told you I was done.