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"See the 'explosive' new Avengers trailer!" is a headline only assholes would write.

Last night's Super Bowl broadcast may have been the dullest in recent memory. No, I'm not talking about the game, which was fantastically tense (despite the miserable outcome...grumble grumble), but rather the advertisements, which so often are dissected needlessly by the media and public despite the fact that they're just really expensive commercials. Honestly, other than that dog that buried the cat for Doritos and the skeletons of Motley Crue appearing in a Kia ad, I don't really remember anything that happened between football segments.

However, there were a few decent movie teasers out there, including the likes of The Avengers, John Carter, and Battleship. The Avengers spot was easily the most hyped, giving us a full minute-long look at the culmination of all things superhero over at Marvel Studios and a bit more in the way of Loki brand evil-doing. I'm assuming everyone's favorite part is that circular shot of all the Avenger folk standing together. I know it was mine.

Next up we have John Carter, the curiously inscrutable sci-fi behemoth from Disney that either cost $250 million or $350 million to make, depending on who you ask. While this trailer did give us a bit more of a look at the action contained within, the ad still hasn't given the general public a particularly good idea of what the hell is going on in this movie, which is bizarre considering it comes out next month. While you and I may be well aware of the story of the original novel John Carter of Mars, the vast majority of folk probably don't. And they may need to understand that ahead of time if Disney plans to make ANY of that money back. Anyway, here's that teaser.

Next up is Battleship, which continues to look like a movie that was developed wholly separate from the whole Battleship brand, and at some point, someone at Universal was like, "Yeah, but what if there were boats? Then we could finally make good on all those Hasbro licenses we have lying around."

There were also spots for The Lorax and Act of Valor, but both used footage we've already seen in other trailers, and thus weren't that interesting.

What do you all think? Did I forget any? Got any particularly heated opinions about the ones above? Comment away!

Not a single person at the super bowl party I was at knew what John Carter was supposed to be.

Wasn't into most of the film commercials other than Avengers or John Carter. My top favorite was the Metlife commercial nostalgia commercial.

I think I've checked John Carter on wikipedia about 5 times now, still have no idea what it's about. Mars or something right?

Avengers is looking good though.

My husband has seen different John Carter ads maybe 5 times, every time he can't remember anything about it and I end up explaining the whole Edward Rice Burroughs thing all over again. Which he promptly forgets. I'm pretty sure that's what's happening with the entire collective conscious about this movie- no one cares enough to remember or be excited about it. I'm looking forward to reading the books about how this was one of the worst flops in history.

Guys, Battleship cost $300 million. Think about that.

~350-400 million, bad marketing, weird ads, confusing title, and I don't even give a fuck

But this is the disaster I'll be keeping my eyes on.

Battleship continues to look hysterical.

I'll be there with bells on for that one.

Same with John Carter because fuck everyone those books are awesome.

I am so confused about John Carter. Is it like Brave-heart, beastmaster in space. That arena scene looks like its right out of Attack of the clones.

Pajiba sums up my thoughts pretty nicely:

They might have played better a decade ago, but most Super Bowl commercials are hitting the same tired notes year after year, and as far as creativity goes, the Internet is far superior. But if you’re paying $4 million for 30 seconds, I suppose you wouldn’t want to risk alienating consumers with “interesting” commercials.

Consider that the Super Bowl panders to people who watch football. That both includes and prioritizes the Bible Belt, and they don't take kindly to no humor or creativity 'round them parts.

Really prefer the Captain America look from the film, definitely looking forward to The Avengers though.

Battleship looks just like transformers without the robots. That close up cgi where you can't really see any details.

It was nice watching Brady fall on his face again, amirite?

@Autechresaint: ditto.

John Carter looks like crap Battleship looks like Mike Bay made a side movie while filming Transformers 3 but decided to forget it and they somehow made Battleship out of that.

So nothing good then.

Anytime I see anything John Carter I just keep thinking Attack of the Clones....

Gonna pour a Bud Light Platinum for my homies in NE.

I'm looking forward to seeing The Avengers, but I'm oddly not as hyped about it as I expected that I'd be. Maybe it's because I really only dug the Iron Man movies and thought the others were just OK. I dunno.

Battleship keeps getting more and more interesting the more that I see of it. I mean, it'll be a pile of shit, but it looks like it'll be a fun pile of shit to watch. They really shouldn't have tried to tie this into the game.

John Carter also looks like it could be entertaining, but Disney played it too coy with the advertising. People aren't going to see a movie with a generic title when they don't know what the hell it's about. From the ads I've seen, it looks too dark for younger kids, which Disney needs to hope to get into the black.

I have no idea what John Carter is about.

Battleship looks like some good summer popcorn fun, and I'm all for that

John Carter keeps looking good to me, but I'm still super curious just how Disney of all companies is going to pull off anything related to John Carter. I mean, I don't know...I never thought of the books as being "family-friendly". Everyone who keeps talking about the confusing marketing and whatnot...I mean, what more do you need to have told to you? There's a dood named John Carter. Bad shit is happening. He's gonna do something about it. Beyond that, just let it all be a mystery. I have a feeling it's going to be a badass flick.

As for The Avengers, that trailer sold me on the movie much better than the original trailer. At the same time, I'm curious just how much they are going to push Jeremy Renner into the background in order to show off Scarlett's tits and the other three heroes that people know from the movies at least.