Upcoming Movies

$109 million / NEW
I know this was more or less expected, but it still always does my heart good to see the best movie of the week win the box office. Of course, it's Pixar, so it's gonna do well. It's just nice to see that people came out in droves for this one. Hopefully everyone walked away with the same stupid grin on their face that I had.

$29 million / $106.2 million
Yup! Jaden effing Smith now has a $100 million money maker on his resume. So that sequel rumoring that's been going around seems almost assured at this point. Maybe this time they can go to Israel and learn Krav Maga, from, hell, I dunno... Judd Hirsch? Is that kinda racist? Whatever, they'll still call it The Karate Kid. That's way racister.

$13.8 million / $49.8 million
I'm legitimately surprised this held on as well as it did. After last week's just kinda okay opening, I expected this to fall flat on its face in subsequent weeks. Maybe positive word of mouth kept it going, but whatever the case, glad to see it survive relatively unscathed in week 2. Seriously, go see this movie, it's hysterically dumb. And I mean that as a compliment.

$6.1 million / $47.9 million
Here's a thing that almost never happens. Last week, Get Him to the Greek was in fourth place. This week, Get Him to the Greek is in...fourth place. It's like I said last week, this is the new Date Night, the new "basically-decent-but-unremarkable" comedy that will just hang around on this list for-fucking-ever. This movie has alligator blood, I swear.

$5.5 million / $223 million
Big 65% drop-off this weekend, but with over $200 million already banked, I'm sure the DreamWorks guys are just sitting around making dismissive wanking motions in unison.

$5.3 million / $80.5 million
Continues to do well internationally and just kind of keep existing over here. Also, it well outlasted the only other sand and sandals epic of the summer, Sex and the City 2. That shit is off the list, and I couldn't be happier.

$5.1 million / $40 million
Who the fuck are you people that are still going to see this movie? Seriously, send me an email or PM and identify yourselves. I want to understand you and your existence. I want to study you in a laboratory.

$5.1 million / NEW
Goddamn that is a miserable opening weekend. I honestly didn't expect this to do great or anything, but maybe it's my total lack of faith in humanity that just made me believe more people would go see this 80 minute hack-job. Does this drive the last nail into Megan Fox's career? I mean, I love boffo tits and vacant stares in place of acting as much as the next guy, but this girl has got to give it up.

$2.7 million / $305 million
Iron Man 2 finally cracks $300 million domestically. Of course, when you count international numbers, it's made double that, so there's that...I guess.

$2.7 million / $28 million
The Duke is loose...ing money! Hah! See what I did there? Do you get it? Because the movie's failing at the box office, you see and...oh goddammit never mind.