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| Gerald Lambeau | A difficult theorem can like a...symphony. It's very erotic. |
| Morgan | My boy's wicked smart. |
| Billy | You're legally allowed to drink now, so we figured the best thing for you was a car. |
| Skylar | I can be in the NBA. I'm tall, I like to wear shorts. Hook! Hook! Dunk! Dunk! Baby, I'm all about three points. |
| Morgan | Hey, let's get off our motha's, afterall, I just got off yours! |
| Lambeau | Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there. |
| Henry Lipkin | Now, no more shenanigans, no more tomfoolery, no more ballyhoo. |
| Morgan | If you were gonna fight them, why didn't you fight them back there? We got snacks now! |
| Lambeau | My name is Gerald Lambeau. The guy who you told to go fuck himself. |
| Morgan | I swallowed a bug. |
| Lambeau | Mod fx... squared... dx. So please finish Parceval, by next time. I know many of you had this as undergraduates, but it won't hurt to brush up. |
| Skylar | Well, let's see if you can get this one. I've got a little story for you. All right. There's an old couple in bed. Mary and Paddy. And they wake up on the morning their... fiftieth anniversary. And Mary looks over and gazes adoringly at Paddy, she's like, "Aw, Jesus, Paddy. You're such a good lookin' feller. I love you. I want to give you a little present. Anything your little heart desires, I'm going to give it to ya'. What would you like?" And Paddy's like, "Aw, gee, Mary, that's a very sweet offer. Now, in fifty years, there's one thing that's been missing. And uh... I would like you to give me a blow job. I would like that." And Mary's like, "All right." She takes her teeth out, puts them in the glass and she gives him a blow job. And afterwards, Paddy's like, "Ah, geez, now THAT's what I've been missin'. That was the most beautiful, Earth-shatterin' thing ever. Beautiful Mary, I love ya'! Is there anything that I can do for you?" And Mary looks up at him and she goes, "Give me a kiss!" |
| Sean Maguire |
|
You think I know the first thing about how hard your life has been, how you feel, who you are, because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally... I don't give a shit about all that, because you know what, I can't learn anything from you, I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you want to talk about you, who you are. Then I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't want to do that do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief. |
| Will Hunting |
|
You know, I was on this plane once. And I'm sittin' there and the captain comes on and he does his whole, "We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet," then he puts the mike down but he forgets to turn it off. Then he turns to the copilot and goes, "You know, all I could go for right now is a fuckin' blow job and a cup of coffee." So the stewardess fuckin' goes bombin' up from the back of the plane to tell him the mic's still on, and this guy behind me goes, "Hey hon, don't forget the coffee!" |
| Sean Maguire |
|
There's honor, ya know, in taking that 40-minute so those college kids could come in the morning, and their floors are clean and their wastebaskets are empty. That's real work. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you've met, she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
I teach this shit, I didn't say I know how to do it. |
| Will Hunting |
|
Do you buy all these books retail or do you send away for, like, a shrink kit that comes with all these volumes included? |
| Will Hunting |
|
Fuck you. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
You're the shepherd. |
| Will Hunting |
|
I read your book last night. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
So you're the one. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
I don't blame you! It's not about you, you mathematical dick! It's about the boy! He's a good kid! And I won't see you fuck him up like you're trying to fuck up me right now! I won't let you make feel like a failure too! |
| Will Hunting |
|
What do you wanna know? That I don't have 12 brothers? That I'm a fuckin' orphan? You don't wanna hear that... no, you don't wanna hear that. You don't wanna hear that I got fuckin' cigarettes put out on me when I was a little kid! That this is 'cause the motherfucker stabbed me! You don't wanna hear that shit, Skylar. Tell me you don't wanna hear that shit isn't fuckin' surgery! |
| Will Hunting |
|
Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
You're not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you've met, she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
Nail them while they're vulnerable, that's my motto. |
| Chuckie Sullivan |
|
Look - you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat; now, that's a fact. I'll fuckin' kill you. |
| Chuckie Sullivan |
|
So this is a Harvard bar, huh? I thought there'd be equations and shit on the wall. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
And why does he hang out with those retarded gorillas, as you called them? Because any one of them, if he asked them to, would take a fucking bat to your head, okay? It's called loyalty. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
You have a bullshit answer for everything. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
If you ever disrespect my wife again, I will end you. I will fucking end you. You got that, chief? |
| Will Hunting |
|
Do you like apples? |
| Clark | Yeah. | |
| Will Hunting |
|
Well, I got her number. How do you like them apples? |
| Sean Maguire |
|
I just have a little question here. You could be a janitor anywhere. Why did work at the most prestigious technical college in the whole fuckin' world? And why did you sneak around at night and finish other people's formulas that only one or two people in the world could do and then lie about it? 'Cause I don't see a lot of honor in that, Will. |
| Chuckie Sullivan |
|
Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few drinks, and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the curb and when I get to your door, 'cause I think, maybe I'll get up there and I'll knock on the door and you won't be there. No goodbye. No see you later. No nothing. You just left. I don't know much, but I know that. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
Son of a bitch... He stole my line. |
| Will Hunting |
|
I'm pumped! Let the healing begin! |
| Sean Maguire |
|
So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny on every art book ever written. Michelangelo, you know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations, him and the pope, sexual orientations, the whole works, right? But I'll bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You've never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling; seen that. If I ask you about women, you'd probably give me a syllabus about your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. And I'd ask you about war, you'd probably throw Shakespeare at me, right, "once more unto the breach dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap, watch him gasp his last breath looking to you for help. I'd ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet. But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes, feeling like God put an angel on earth just for you. Who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her, be there forever, through anything, through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleeping sitting up in the hospital room for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes, that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause it only occurs when you've loved something more than you love yourself. And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. And look at you... I don't see an intelligent, confident man... I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine, and you ripped my fucking life apart. You're an orphan right? |
| Sean Maguire |
|
It's not your fault. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
Maybe you should watch your mouth. Watch it right there, Chief! |
| Sean Maguire |
|
See you Monday. We'll be talking about Freud and why he did enough cocaine to kill a small horse. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
People call those imperfections, but no, that's the good stuff. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
My wife used to fart in her sleep. |
| Sean Maguire |
|
Look, if you're gonna jerk off, why don't you do it at home with a moist towel? |
| Sean Maguire |
|
Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself. |
| Chuckie Sullivan |
|
You're suspect! Yeah, you! I don't know what your reputation is in this town, but after the shit you tried to pull today you can bet I'll be looking into you. Now the business we have, heretofore, you can speak with my aforementioned attorney. Good day, gentlemen; and until that day comes, keep your ear to the grindstone. |
| Will Hunting |
|
What is this, a Taster's Choice moment between guys? |
| Sean Maguire |
|
I knew you before you were a mathematical god, when you were pimple-faced and homesick and didn't know what side of the bed to piss on! |
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Box Office
Domestic $138,433,435 Foreign +$87,500,000 - = total worldwide gross $225,933,435
- - a reported budget of $10,000,000
- = a 2,159.3% net profit of $215,933,435
- show in today's dollars »
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activity & ranking231 people have watched this item.
Rank This Week Rank This Month 794 All-Time Rank -
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In today's dollars
Domestic $138,433,435 Foreign +87,500,000 - = total worldwide gross $225,933,435
- - a reported budget of $10,000,000
- = a 2,159.3% net profit of $215,933,435
Top Editors
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FinalDasa
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- mike20 52 points
- ProjektGill 6 points
- cosmicx 4 points
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