What? You thought that I’d let an upcoming movie awards show NOT be analysed to death? Oh, you people really don’t know me! Anyways, the Scream Awards are the only major genre movie awards on the calendar (even if they take place in October and include films from August 2010 and include TV shows, but shut it!) and we should celebrate them and encourage them anyway. Even if they are on Spike.
And so now I shall employ my tried and trusted “Who Should/Will Win” technique to the nominees and then add any extra notes necessary. I am going to skip the comic book nominees though, seeing as I’m not the best judge of them. So, without further ado, let’s dive into the Harry Potter awar… Sorry; the 2011 Scream Awards!
By the by, if you want the whole list of nominees, just follow this link!
The Ultimate Scream
Who Should Win: This is for the best genre movie and/or TV show of the year. And whilst I could be more than happy with at least half of the nominees winning, Scott Pilgrim is there. And, if I don’t vote for that, Mary Elizabeth Winstead will be sad. And nobody wants that!
Who Will Win: At any time, any time at all, you can go to the comments section and see at least 3 comments begging for Harry Potter to win. That say all you need to know?
Other Things To Note: This mix up of TV and film being included in the same category continues throughout the rest of the awards, by the by. And, yes, I did only hear of these awards thanks to Mary Elizabeth Winstead’s Twitter. And if that makes me wrong, and sad, and lonely… Well, I don’t want to be right and… wait, what?
Best Science Fiction Movie
Who Should Win: It may not have been a Sci-Fi movie (anybody who believes otherwise is a complete f*cking moron), but I’d still like to see Captain America win here.
Who Will Win: Tough one to call. In previous years, Transformers swept up. But nobody seems to care about it this year. Going from the comments board (one of the rare awards where people can comment on each individual category), we are getting big support for the Cap’.
Other Things To Note: I have to echo the sentiments of the majority of posters on the message boards; WHERE THE HELL IS SOURCE CODE?! Not even a mention for the Best Sci-Fi of the whole year? None? Also, I’d like to toss in a mention to Rise Of The (Planet Of The) Apes to replace the Cap’. Yes, I know that I mentioned I’d like to see him win, but only complete f*cking morons believe that that was a Sci-Fi.
Best Fantasy Movie
Who Should Win: Not long until X-Men makes it to UK DVD’s. But until I can watch it again and see if it really is better than my choice, it’s gotta go to my current Film Of The Year which is Black Swan.
Who Will Win: Harry Potter is nominated. Anyone wanna challenge that?
Other Things To Note: X-Men is on UK DVD release at the end of October. So I will be able to decide which of the two is the Best Film Of The Year soon. Though I would like a third movie to come out of nowhere and steal it from them both in the final 3 months of the year. Tinker, Tailor maybe…?
Best Horror Movie
Who Should Win: My friends keep telling me that Insidious is the absolute scariest thing in the history of mankind. But I’m voting for Let Me In because Chloe Grace Moretz.
Who Will Win: People keep flitting between Let Me In and Insidious. I’m gonna guess that Insidious will win because I have little faith in humanity.
Other Things To Note: People keep complaining that Scream 4 is better than all of these movies, however it was snubbed a nomination. Do any of you agree? Cos I’ve not watched a single one of the movies up for voting. Not one at all.
Best Thriller
Who Should Win: You people have watched Hanna, right? Good… Just checking…
Who Will Win: Salt’s most likely to win here. Hanna may be getting some good buzz in the comments, but the Angelina Jolie factor beats everything. Or did you not watch the Teen Choice Awards?
Other Things To Note: I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to surf a message board that is civilized and unified for once! I honestly can’t!
Best TV Show
Who Should Win: Anybody who doesn’t say Game Of Thrones actually does not understand what quality TV looks like. And, for that, I pity them.
Who Will Win: True Blood has been running away with it for the past few years, but general consensus is that Season 4 sucked harder than the most committed prostitute in the whole world. I think it’s very likely The Walking Dead will take it.
Other Things To Note: I was about to scream at the top of my lungs about the omissions of Chuck and Nikita, but then I remembered that it’s a Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror award show and kept my mouth shut. I don’t know why I do that. It’s just second nature for me to walk into a room screaming “CHUCK!” or “NIKITA!” regardless of the situation. Like how Josh Matthews can’t stop bellowing “SOCIAL MEDIA!!!” at every opportunity.
Best Director
Who Should Win: Edgar Wright, but not just because of Scott Pilgrim. Also because he is a genuinely awesome guy. No, I’ve never met him. Yes, I only gathered he’s an awesome guy from the DVD extras. Yes, I do really, really want to know him in real life. LEAVE ME ALONE!!
Who Will Win: David Yates because Harry Potter fangirls and fanboys.
Other Things To Note: For every 10 David Yates screams, there is 1 Darren Aronofsky vote. For every 100 David Yates squees, there are 2 Edgar Wright sobs of hopeless causes. Make of that what you will.
Best Scream-Play (Somebody Needs To Die For That Awful Pun )
Who Should Win: Do you hear me quoting Black Swan, Potter, Super 8 or X-Men at you in just about every single blog post? Exactly! Scott Pilgrim all the way. “I’m in lesbians with that movie!” says the 40th funniest person in the room that I’m typing this in.
Who Will Win: Isn’t it obvious?
Other Things To Note: OK, I liked Deathly Hallows Part 2 (really liked it if you believe my review) but seriously? Everything? Come on! It’s great and all, but it is not God’s gift to Earth. And it has the second most f*cking annoying fans who will desperately try and preach to you that JK Rowling is their generation’s William Shakespeare, whether you want to hear about it or not! And yes, I am perfectly aware that I’m like that with Scott Pilgrim. And that, boys and girls, is how hypocrisy works!
Also; someone try and make sense of this for me: “Black Swan and X-Men are the best, but I love Harry Potter more. :)” The person who can turn that into understandable English gets a medal.
Best Fantasy Actress
Who Should Win: I know that this is extra super supremely obvious to anyone with a brain and a taste in fine movies; but Natalie Portman needs to take this for Black Swan.
Who Will Win: No matter how hard Mks spams the comment thread, Natalie Portman will not win for Black Swan. Instead, Emma Watson will waltz away with it for Harry Potter.
Other Things To Note: Nice to see Jennifer Lawrence pick up a nomination for X-Men. She is a very fast rising talent in the industry and I’d love to see her do well.
Best Fantasy Actor
Who Should Win: Yes, Sean Bean was fantastic in Game Of Thrones (saying no more for fears of spoilering) but even he can’t defeat the mighty Michael Fassbender from X-Men: First Class. Erik was an ace character and I want to see more of Fassbender’s portrayal of him! Until then, at least he’s starring in stuffy period dramas I couldn’t give a sh*t about.
Who Will Win: Uh… huh… yep… That definitely looks like a victory for Harry Potter!
Other Things To Note: But if, somehow, it’s not Daniel Radcliffe, it will go to Johnny Depp. I wasn’t aware teenage girls found him insanely attractive?
Best Science Fiction Actress
Who Should Win: So that my brother doesn’t punch me square on the jaw, I’m voting Karen Gillan from Doctor Who.
Who Will Win: Milla Jovovich because “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBIIEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!”
Other Things To Note: My brother is not the only reason I voted Karen Gillan. Hayley Atwell and Olivia Wilde were great in both Captain America and Tron Legacy respectively; but neither got a lot to do in their movies. So, I can’t really give them this award. Sorry!
Best Science Fiction Actor
Who Should Win: “What’s that, brother? You want me to vote for Matt Smith as The Doctor? Or else you’ll set fire to my PS3? Well… let’s not be too hasty, now!”
Who Will Win: Matt Smith actually has a decent shot of winning in what appears to be the most open category yet. Currently; him and Jake Gyllenhaal are neck and neck on the comments, so it’s really anyone’s game!
Other Things To Note: Shush! Don’t tell my brother, but I’m actually voting for Jake Gyllenhaal for Source Code! That movie is awesome! “What? Nothing, brother!”
Best Horror Actress
Who Should Win: Chloe Grace Moretz because she’s an adorable ball of awesome!
Who Will Win: Anna Paquin. A lot of people may have been turned off by the extreme suckiness of True Blood season 4, but they still get distracted by boobies. Ah, mankind! So predictable!
Other Things To Note: Mind you, saying that, Neve Campbell is getting a lotta love on the comments. I wasn’t aware that a] That many people liked Scream 4. Or that b] That many people saw Scream 4 in the first place.
Best Horror Actor
Who Should Win: If I was a paranoid gay man (which I’m not, darling, no matter what other people have been saying about me!), then my ultimate man crush would be the superb Alexander Skarsgård. Who is also a fantastic actor, and not just a dashing hunk! … … Again: Not gay. Or paranoid.
Who Will Win: It’s always been a contest between Stephen Moyer and Alexander Skarsgård and this year looks to be no different. Which of the two wins it this year, though, is 50/50.
Other Things To Note: Glad to see Michael C. Hall get some recognition for playing Dexter on a show I stopped watching after Season 4 simply because I couldn’t be bothered to stick around for Season 5 (this is no knock against Season 4, though).
So that’s the end of Part 1 of my analysis. Stay tuned next week for Part 2. In the meantime, share your thoughts down in the comments. Til next week!
jackanderson’s rocksteady, baby! Let’s call this song exactly what it is!
