Machete (2010)

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4 star rating THE Screened Review by Alex Navarro

The mangled, snarling presence of Danny Trejo and the demented sense of humor of Robert Rodriguez help carry this former fake movie into the realm of the real with great success.
GB review user review
Ethan Maniquis Director
Robert Rodriguez Director previously directed Shorts

Machete: ex-Federale with a serious chip on his shoulder. Double-crossed and left for dead by the cabal that hired him, Machete's on a mission to deliver fiery payback with the help of a few friends. Based on a fake trailer filmed for 'Grindhouse'.
Trivia:

This is Steven Seagal's first theatrical realease in the U.S since Half Past Dead (2001)

16 More Trivia
Reference: Spy Kids

Danny Trejo plays a character named Machete in both movies. Robert Rodriguez wrote and directed both. The original Grindhouse trailer (under the title screen) is registered to "Machete's Body Shop". This was also the name of Trejo's Spy Kids character's business.

2 More Movie References
Quote: Machete

I thought Machete don't text.

Machete

Machete improvise.

10 More Quotes
Writers
Cast
Danny Trejo Machete
Robert De Niro Senator McLaughlin
Jessica Alba Sartana
Steven Seagal Torrez
Michelle Rodriguez Luz
Jeff Fahey Michael Booth
Cheech Marin Padre Benito del Toro
Don Johnson Lt. Stillman
Shea Whigham Sniper
Lindsay Lohan April Booth
See Full Credits

Plot 

Machete begins with the titular character ( Danny Trejo) disobeying orders and assaulting one of the drug houses of the cartel leader Torrez ( Steven Seagal) in order to rescue a key witness in his trial. His partner is quickly killed in the initial shootout, but Machete is clearly made of tougher stuff and dismembers any thug in his path with the weapon that bears his name. Upon finding the witness, a very naked young woman seemingly in the thrall   of some powerful opiates, he tosses her over his shoulder and begins his escape. But he's betrayed! She stabs him in the leg with his own weapon when Torrez reveals himself along with Machete's commanding officer. Double betrayal! The witness is killed, having served her purpose, and when Machete refuses to sell out to Torrez, he brings out Machete's wife and brutally murders her in front of him. He then burns down the drug house, leaving Macete inside to presumably burn with it.
 
 Time moves forward, as time is wont to in movies and we are suddenly shown a political commercial for Independent Senator McLaughlin ( Robert De Niro) who appears to be running for Texas state senate reelection on a hard-line anti-immigration stance. Suddenly the camera cuts to a group of militant minutemen vigilantes terrorizing a group of immigrants trying to cross the border. They are led by the heinous Lt. Von Stillman ( Don Johnson) and Sen. McLaughlin, the former of whom shoots a pregnant woman and the latter shoots her young son on video. Another quick cut as we watch   Special Agent Sartana ( Jessica Alba) seemingly photographing the patrons of a local taco trailer run by Luz ( Michelle Rodriguez). Sartana is an agent for ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) and takes notice of Machete doing some manual labor. As she leaves, Machete is approached by the mysterious Mr. Booth ( Jeff Fahey) who wants him to assassinate the Senator. 
 
Machete agrees and is given a high-powered rifle to complete the job with as well as $150,000 cash. He also takes a machete "for backup." As he takes a bead on the Senator from a high vantage point, he scans around and sees another rifleman aiming directly at him. He is shot through the shoulder with the second rifleman shooting the Senator in the leg. Machete staggers off the building, but is apprehended by of Mr. Booth's henchmen. He dispatches them with his massive blade, crashing the car they put him in and escaping. He is found and taken to a hospital run by the "Network," a network of people sympathetic to illegal immigrant's cause who assist them in any way possible after they've crossed the border. Booth's henchmen remain undeterred, however, and Machete is again forced into combat, which he hurls himself into in a particularly "gutsy" way. Escaping the hospital, he's grabbed by Luz and taken to her house. She nurses him back to health, as well as seeing if the "legend" of Machete can live up to the reality.
 
     These guys are in it too! 
     These guys are in it too! 
Booth's extremely tenacious agents, urged on by Booth, himself under pressure from Torrez (following all that? Good), arrive on the scene and blow up Luz's house, though she isn't home. Machete is, though, and all the henchman with the exception of the leader, are either dismembered or blown up. Or dismembered, then blown up. Agent Sartana arrives in time to see the explosion and rescue Machete. Sartana informs him that he's plastered across the major news networks and a statewide manhunt is one. She advises him to turn himself in and trust in the system, but he refuses, so she  pulls a gun on him. Machete disarms her and she offers to take him to her place to think about it. Sartana cooks a traditional Mexican dish for him, Sartana being of Mexican descent, and tries to persuade him to go to the police. He still has a gun pulled on her, but he gives it back to her, fully loaded, as a gesture that he can be trusted as he leaves. He stops by the church where his estranged brother Padre Benito del Toro ( Cheech Marin) presides and asks for his help. Del Toro gives him advice about Booth and tells him he'll help however he can.
 
He infiltrates Booth's compound, using the brilliant disguise of holding a pair of gardening tools to make it past Booth's bumbling guards. After they realize who he is, he non-lethally takes them down. Machete stumbles upon Booth's daughter and wife ( Lindsay Lohan and Alicia Rachel Marek) preparing to put on a show for the daughter's website and they simply assume he's part of it. After bedding both women on camera, and getting them immensely drunk, he accesses Booth's computer and downloads all the incriminating information on his connection to Torrez as well as his planning of Sen. McLaughlin's fake assassination. He leaves the video of himself and Booth's wife and daughter for Booth to find. Meanwhile, Luz is attacked and shot through the eye by Von Stillman, the leader of the vigilante minutemen.
 
Horribly, while all this is going on Machete's brother is murdered by Booth and a hitman that Booth hired to kill Machete ( Tom Savini). Machete goes back to Sartana and shows her the information and she gets drunk to celebrate. She tries to seduce Machete, but he resists her charms in a show of iron willpower. When more assassins attack her home, Machete and Sartana must fight them off together. Machete goes to contact The Network and Sartana goes to make sure the truth about McLaughlin and Booth gets out. Her superiors, however, don't think there's anything to her story, so she gives it to the only people she can trust: the Spanish language news network Exactamundo. At a press conference in which the falsely injured McLaughlin is speaking, he is confronted with video evidence of his involvement with the murder of the woman and her son from the beginning of the movie. He flees, shooting Booth for his failure. 
     Knives Anyone?
     Knives Anyone?
 
Sartana goes and rallies the illegal immigrant workforce as well as the members of The Network behind her cause under the leadership of Machete, and they go to assault the vigilante's stronghold. An epic battle breaks out in which Luz is revealed to be not dead, but sporting an eyepatch and a massive machine gun, Von's plans to kill the Senator for associating with Mexican druglords is halted when McLaughlin is taken in by the Network, only to be shot by Booth's daughter for the murder of her father. Finally, Machete comes face-to-face with Torrez who commits seppuku after a protracted swordfight ends with him getting a machete through the gut. Machete vanishes into the night, remaining a myth to inspire others, but Sartana insists on going with him. The movie concludes showing Sen. McLaughlin, still dressed as an illegal immigrant, being run down by Von's brother and shot, though the brother never actually recognizes him. 
 

Cultural Timeliness

 Call it the zeitgeist of the times, call it great luck, call it a massive, underground conspiracy meant to incite a race war, but the film's release has coincided closely with the passing of a new immigration law in Arizona. The law essentially allows Arizona to demand the papers of anyone they suspect of being an illegal immigrant and, if papers are not forthcoming, allows for immediate arrest and deportation. The film's story about immigration is all the more relevant with this being one of the hottest issues of the moment, even if the film itself is extremely tongue-in-cheek and satirical in its outlook.
Machete 40 images
Machete Trailer

In case you were wondering, Danny Trejo is DEFINITELY the wrong Mexican to fuck with.
forum Too much politics? Romination
review Stupid, ridiculous but so much fun. (4 out of 5) MrWright
review This "Machete" could be sharper (3 out of 5) TravisCowan
review Machete (3 out of 5) Adrenaline
review The Best CAST EVER! (4 out of 5) HadesTimes
review Best Film of 2010 (5 out of 5) Dracula
blog Charlton's Top 17 Favorite Films of 2010 - Whoa! :D StarFry64
news 2010: The Year in Movie Quotes Alex
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General Information Edit
Name Machete
US Release Sept. 3, 2010
UK Release Oct. 8, 2010
AUS Release
Runtime 105
Language(s)
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English
Genre(s)
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Thriller
Crime
Drama
Action
Theme(s)
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cursing
gratuitous nudity
extreme violence
Rating R
Alias(es)
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  • In today's dollars
    Domestic $26,593,646
    Foreign +17,499,670
  • = total worldwide gross $44,093,316
  • - a reported budget of $20,000,000
  • = a 120.5% net profit of $24,093,316
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