A list of movies so bad that Jonah Hex actually isn't on it! Sex and the City 2 is nowhere to be seen! Valentine's Day and Legion? Resounding successes!
But seriously, folks, these are the worst movies of the year, to the point where the movies listed above somehow have managed to escape the fold and surface above the acrimony that these films engendered in the critical elite. These aren't guilty pleasures, these aren't Defending Your Movie candidates; these are movies that are terrible. Check the list...if you dare!  | 1. The Nutcracker in 3D 0% Rotten Tomatoes: Destined to be one of the all-time biggest box-office bombs, The Nutcracker is also apparently completely unlikable by anyone who happens to see it. And before you get all huffy about how the critical apparatus is dogpiling on a film that ordinary people might enjoy, you might want to read up on how a great-grandmother brought her offspring to the film, only to watch them exit "in shock". |
 | 2. Vampires Suck 4% RT: Wait, this movie isn't very good? Who would've guessed that it'd make $80 million worldwide? Honestly, who pays to see movies like this? Does anyone admit to knowing someone who has seen this movie? |
 | 3. Hemingway's Garden of Eden 5% RT: It's good to see Mena Suvari getting some work...I guess. It's less good that it comes in this apparently dire adaptation of a Hemingway novel. I think the first sign that it's a bad film is the part where they throw Hemingway's name in the title to get people to come watch it. I went to a strip club recently called the Garden of Eden, and I couldn't figure out why it was called that, as I don't think there were stripper poles in the Bible. This movie makes a little more sense to me, but not much. |
 | 4. The Last Airbender 6% RT: I actually was mildly looking forward to this when I heard about the minutes-long shots in the combat sequences, but then the word of mouth started spreading. I think Dave Poland of Movie City News described it as "watching a career fall apart before your eyes", and yet this somehow made almost $320 million dollars. Absolutely the worst blockbuster to come along in a while. I think Hollywood needs to adapt NFL or MLB contract terms and mandate Rotten Tomatoes ratings riders into their contracts; get above 60% or lose half your paycheck. Sound fair? |
 | 5. The Bounty Hunter 7% RT: I tried watching this on Netflix Streaming, but I think I got through around 10 minutes of it before I wound up having to turn it off. Hell, even Killers was somehow more watchable than this. |
 | 6. Furry Vengeance 8% RT: One of only three zero-star reviews we've given this year, and apparently that was the critical consensus as well. Wacky CGI animals? Brendan Fraser making funny faces? People getting pooped on? Historians will be scratching their heads about the failure of this film for decades to come. |
 | 7. My Soul to Take 9% RT: Poor Wes Craven can't catch a break. Nor apparently can he catch the wave of 3D with this piss-poor horror movie, another one of our trio of zero-star films this year. |
 | 8. Grown Ups 10% RT: I am utterly perplexed by the fact that this managed to somehow gain 10% of the critical establishment to concede that it was marginally better than having a staplegun fired repeatedly into your temple. I came away from it unamused and slightly more dismissive of the prospects of the future of humanity. |
 | 9. Marmaduke 10% RT: Who wanted this movie? Owen Wilson's agent wrote this movie as an excuse to get him another $10 million paycheck, right? |
 | 10. Killers 11% RT: Alright, I'll confess: this movie probably doesn't belong on this list. It's more "non-essential" than outright "bad". It's not something I ever want to see again, and it stars two people I absolutely can't stand, but it's hardly worse than Sex and the City 2 or Jonah Hex. And yet, the Rotten Tomatoes meter can't be wrong...can it? |
I regret knowing these people.
Still haven't signed up for Netflix, so I am still resorting to the usage of the local Redbox. That being said, a few weeks ago, as I was at said Redbox looking for a DVD to rent, another fella was at the other kiosk and told me, "Good luck trying to find Grown Ups. We've been all over trying to find it but its been rented out at every Redbox." He seemed genuinely upset about it.
Apparently there's no accounting for taste these days. The trailer alone for that movie put me off. Adam Sandler---'Nuff said.
I believe their exact words were 'Artistically and critically speaking, there was no bigger fiasco this year than The Last Airbender.'
Yep, that about sums it up.
Accountability, I love it! LOL at a performance clause.
THINK MCFLY! THINK!
I've managed to watch half of it. I don't want to see the rest.
everyone at my school said it was awesome too--i was wondering if i was the only guy in the world who didnt like it.
all of these movies (or at least the 7 i saw) are pretty bad, with the exception of the last airbender, which is mediocre. however i know of one far worse: the social network.
What a weird career.