We've been hearing about nefarious plans to turn Hasbro's Candy Land board game into a movie--much as it did with Battleship and its Transformers toys, and eventually will with Stretch Armstrong--for some time now, hearing descriptions that included the likes of "Lord of the Rings, but with candy," as if that were something someone had ever asked for. While nothing concrete came out of those plans, Hasbro has announced that it will make a damned Candy Land movie whether you like it or not, and now it's going to have Adam Sandler in it, because fuck you film-goers.
Originally the project was kicking around at Universal, but due to some behind-the-scenes finagling, it apparently became available to other studios. As it turns out, Sony Pictures was just waiting for the right moment to run up and strike with its Adam Sandler-shaped club, and strike it did. Sony will develop the project as a Sandler vehicle in the vein of all those other really great Sandler vehicles of the last several years, like Bedtime Stories and Jack and Jill, because again, fuck you film-goers.
Kevin Lima, the director of Enchanted--a movie that also had kind of a lame premise but turned out to be pretty good--will helm the project. Sandler will also co-write the script with You Don't Mess With the Zohan writer Robert Smigel. While we have no idea as yet what the plot will be, one can presume it will involve Sandler as some kind of sad sack middle-aged whatever learning valuable lessons after being transported to Candy Land because of reasons. Also, David Spade will probably play a snarky candy cane, because once more, fuck you film-goers.
can't wait for more adam sandler terribleness!!!
@endaround said:
Also featuring Kevin James as Plumpy!
Man, but I liked Zohan. It's pretty awful, but I really liked Zohan.
This will probably be one for the books.
I assume at this point he is just doing whatever they pay him to do.
Unlike a slew of Sandler's latest movies, Bedtime Stories was actually watchable. One can only hope that Candy Land will turn out like that.
I'm guessing that if this is successful that "Chutes and Ladders" can't be far behind . . .
Also, I'm a little sad that it's only February 1st and not April 1st- because then I could of held out hope that this really isn't happening.
@iAmJohn said:
YES. Why does it feel like this movie is turning into a PG-13 adult comedy?
Adam Sandler is the greatest movie troll ever.
Frank Langella as Lord Licorice to add a touch of sophistication to the film
Wait, ROBERT SMIGEL helped write You Don't Mess With the Zohan?!?!? Isn't he actually funny? 'the HELL?!
Looks like Clue will hold onto its title of "Best Movie That's Better Than It Has Any Right to Be" in the "boardgame" category.
So we've come to this. So run out of ideas we now make board games into films. What's next? Toys? Oh, wait...
Yes I know Clue was a board game made into a film but hey, I thought it worked as both.
Also, Adam Sandler is NOT funny. He never really was. I am starting to think he might just be this terrible on purpose though. If so, then he does a damn good job at coming off as a hack!
I can't wait for the Rob Schnider cameo.
Oh boy, a movie based on a game too childish for children. At least Sandler won't have to hurt himself stretching his acting "talents".
Robert Smigel - Adam Sandler = Awesome stuff like TV Fun House and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
I can't help but think Adam Sandler is the most brazen con artist in the world after watching Red Letter Media's review of Jack and Jill. Somehow I picture all the candy will be brand named and we will get cameos by Tim Meadows, Kevin Nealon, Nick Swardson, and whoever else is suckling at the Sandler teat.
Let's just pretend that Adventure Time is Candyland done better then the actual board game itself.
And Rob Schneider will play a gorilla throwing its own feces, because Rob Schneider.
@NateSaint said:
This, exactly. Who the hell wants Candyland turned into a movie? I mean, come on now.
Adam Sandler will play an end-of-the-line cashier at a candy store that gets turned into a gingerbread man.
David Spade will be that licorice dude but he keeps lollipop prostitutes.
Nick Swardson will play a homosexual marshmallow rapist.
Kevin James will be the same fat piece of shit he plays in every movie.
Rob Schneider will play himself.
That's my guess, anyway.
@Funky_Pasta_Tommy said:
Spot on.
Laughed real hard at the article describing all this. I love it.