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Anti-Productivity: Piranha 3D's Cast Makes a Humble Plea to the Academy

Compelling argument or the most compelling argument of all time? You decide.

  
 
It's a strange phenomenon, but considering how ridiculously schlock-filled the Piranha series of "don't go in the water" horror sub-genre films are they all sure have some heavy-hitting Hollywood faces attached to them. Roger "King of B-movies" Corman produced the first one while Joe Dante (Gremlins) directed. A young James Cameron found his first feature-length paid directing gig in Piranha II: The Spawning (my favorite). Now Alexandre Aja of 2006's bloody The Hills Have Eyes remake fame is helming the upcoming Piranha 3D and I, for one, am stoked. 
 
Today Funny or Die released a video from some of the cast of that film who have humbly asked the Academy to review...wait, that's not right...I meant give unconditionally, Oscars to them in every category possible. And then some. Let's quickly review why the movie might deserve such a prestigious honor: 

  • Some poor sap's wang is eaten by a piranha and spit out
  • Cartoonish torso-leg severing
  • British model/actress/Playboy model Kelly Brook in a bikini
  • Pornstar Riley Steele in a bikini 
  • Ving Rhames rips an outboard motor off a boat and makes a piranha smoothie with it
 
All those compelling arguments and Paul Scheer holding a stagehand in a headlock in the above video.
Joeon Aug. 17, 2010 at 3:33 p.m.
Yeah, the video is funny... but funny in the way that they all know Piranha 3D is one big joke. And I can't help feel weird about that.
Godlyawesomeguyon Aug. 17, 2010 at 3:39 p.m.
Pretty funny video. Can't say Pirahna 3D will be good, but if it was I wouldn't be nearly as excited for it.
nofx4208on Aug. 17, 2010 at 3:43 p.m.
adam scott, paul scheer, ving rhames, and jerry o'connel?
 
sign me the fuck up
Vapnikon Aug. 17, 2010 at 3:44 p.m.
Kelly Brook never seems to age.
CashBaileyon Aug. 17, 2010 at 3:49 p.m.
That was pretty good.
 
Adam Scott is the goodness.
Rorie staff on Aug. 17, 2010 at 4:01 p.m.
Well, there's a joke that goes on too long.
Falxon Aug. 17, 2010 at 4:04 p.m.
Didn't laugh at all, not even a smile.
GhostNPCon Aug. 17, 2010 at 4:05 p.m.
Yeah, that went on for alittle bit longer than I liked, but there were definitely good parts in it.
Bones8677on Aug. 17, 2010 at 4:05 p.m.
Charlize Theron was in Playboy? Why the hell didn't I know that?!
Martin_Blankon Aug. 17, 2010 at 4:10 p.m.
Christ, you know you're getting old when you don't recognise the pornstars anymore.
afterburner1978on Aug. 17, 2010 at 4:17 p.m.

Im so tired of 3D. I guess its not going anywhere huh?
Borpon Aug. 17, 2010 at 4:23 p.m.
If Alexandre Aja is making it, i'll see it.
Spiral_Starson Aug. 17, 2010 at 4:46 p.m.
The Hurt Locker won Best Picture. I'm pretty sure people under 50 watched it.
StarFry64on Aug. 17, 2010 at 4:55 p.m.
I thought Paul Sheer was obnoxiously unfunny in this video. Shame being he's from Human Giant, one of the best sketch shows.
Milkmanon Aug. 17, 2010 at 5:28 p.m.
I love Adam Scott but that wasn't funny.
Sandoron Aug. 17, 2010 at 5:41 p.m.
Not very funny, but quite amusing none the less. I dunno... featuring pornstars worked for Kevin Smith so who knows.
thwakon Aug. 17, 2010 at 5:48 p.m.
@Joe: 
 
Well all of the pirhanna movies are parodies.
Chrison Aug. 17, 2010 at 6:31 p.m.
This needs to win every Oscar!
Ronaldon Aug. 17, 2010 at 8:16 p.m.
Adam Scott is in Piranha 3D? Hollow Man's Elisabeth Shue is in it? Eli Roth dies in it? I'm getting more excited. And Adam Scott is right, they can't nominate Inception ten times for best picture.
Luthorcrowon Aug. 17, 2010 at 8:27 p.m.
Cute but the joke lingers a little too long.  That said this exactly the sort of film that deserves the 3D schlock treatment. 
 
It looks like they are going for a Snakes on A Plane a tone. If they dial it could be fun but then they again they don't have Samuel L Jackson...

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