Wait, the Internet says we made how much?!?
Further proving the theorem that people will go see anything so long as it has Mark Wahlberg and comes out in January and there isn't really much else going on so hey we might as well go see this Mark Wahlberg movie, Contraband was the number one movie at the box office this weekend, taking in $24.1 million upon its debut. That was good enough to top both the 3D re-release of Beauty and the Beast (second place, with $18.4 million), and the desperate piling-on of churchy heartwarming goo that was Joyful Noise. Despite boasting both Queen Latifah and the reanimated corpse of Dolly Parton, the Sister Act-meets-Fighting Temptations choir comedy only managed a fourth place finish, with $11.3 million in ticket sales.
More interesting than anything else this weekend was precisely how badly The Devil Inside did in its second week. The general feeling was that, given the absolutely hateful word of mouth following all the first weekend's screenings, this would probably sink somewhere in the neighborhood of 70% plus. That came true, with a 76.6% tanking that sent it all the way down to sixth place. It still made okay money, but it's safe to say that by the time this report rolls around next week, The Devil Inside will be outside this top ten list. Hey! I'm a regular Gene Shalit!
No particularly noteworthy indie entries this weekend, though The Iron Lady, given its expanded push to theaters, did manage to crack the top 10. Where did it land? You'll just have to check the list for yourself. I mean, it's right below this paragraph. It's not as if I've made it difficult.
 | 1. Contraband $24.1 million / NEW
Five bucks says Underworld does this, or better next weekend, making Kate Beckinsale the reigning champion of the January box office. Granted, that's like being President of Outer Mongolia, but hey, a title's a title. |
 | 2. Beauty and the Beast $18.5 million / NEW-ish
What do you think it costs Disney to convert these movies to 3D? I'm guessing it's a mere pittance compared to what they end up making. Just a money-making machine for Disney, which they can use to buy more Asian orphans to work in their 3D upconverting factories. It's like a perpetual motion machine of money and orphans! |
 | 3. Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol $11.5 million / $186.7 million
Oh, hey, this movie! If you missed our elongated discussion on this during this week's podcast, you ought to check it out. Ryan and Rorie and I have many thoughts! |
 | 4. Joyful Noise $11.3 million / NEW
Considering what I gigantic pile of heartwarming family movie cliches this looked like, I actually expected it to do a lot better. Apparently Dolly Parton's box office draw is still what it never actually was to begin with. I'm not trying to talk shit about Dolly Parton--I love 9 to 5!!!--but let's face it, she was never a hugely popular movie lady. |
 | 5. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows $8.4 million / $170 million
Several of you said I should totally go see this movie when I asked about it last weekend, but despite your pleas to the contrary, I think I'm gonna have to pass. As much as I love Robert Downey Jr. and homoerotic bro downs in Merry Olde England, I just do no0t care about this franchise. I guess everybody else does, though. Sheesh. |
 | 6. The Devil Inside $7.9 million / $46.2 million
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAOh wait, this still made a bunch of money. Dammit. |
 | 7. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo $6.8 million / $88 million
My girlfriend bought pretty much all of the Lisbeth Salander H&M clothing. I...don't really know what else to say about that. |
 | 8. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked $5.8 million / $118.8 million
Instead of making yet another joke about this stupid fucking movie, let's all watch David Cross tear it to shreds on Conan right before making a really uncomfortable joke about a Jewish lady he hates. |
 | 9. War Horse $5.6 million / $65.8 million
New rule: Nobody is ever allowed again to say the sentence "He's a miraculous horse" unless they are on oodles and oodles of drugs. Like, the bad kind. |
 | 10. The Iron Lady $5.4 million / $6 million
I'm guessing the fact that this movie is apparently sort of awful didn't do it any favors at the box office. The only reason I'm told to see it is because Meryl Streep is, predictably, very good in it. I can see her be very good in not shitty movies too, you know. |
Dropped Out: We Bought a Zoo; The Adventures of Tintin; Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy; New Year's Eve
Source: Box Office Mojo
Devil Inside still made more than I expected this week.
I didn't expect a 100%
Anyway that Dolly Parton thing is flawed, because she didn't do very many movies to begin with, and a few of them (9 to 5, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, Steel Magnolias were hits.
I love the way Alex writes.
Asian orphans have to find new work now that World of Warcraft is on the decline. Good for them and their Disney "benefactor's".
Ya know what, David Cross? Maybe don't sign a three picture deal with a franchise you know you're going to hate. Or do what Alan Moore does and donate the money to charity. I'm not sure being held up at "legal gunpoint" and "being forced to honor the contract you probably should've thought twice about signing" are the same thing.
And I LIKE David Cross in general! His Larry the Cable Guy rant is one of the most incredible things I've ever heard and almost all his film roles/comedy specials are great. And trash the movie all you like, I love to see stars of bad films just finally come out and say "Yeah, this thing's a giant piece of shit" but don't pretend like you were somehow tricked. Like they said "We're throwing you a party, be here at this time in this pelican suit!" and then you get there and "SURPRISE! WE'VE BEEN MAKING A SHITTY CHIPMUNK MOVIE THE WHOLE TIME!"
@Moviemaniac: That was sort of what I was getting at. Not that she didn't have any draw, but that she was barely in any movies.
Woo, Kate! All hail the champion of the January box office!
@Alex: Are you saying your girlfriend is a goth hacker?
@Undeadpool said:
Although it's often hard for actors to see exactly how children oriented films of this nature will turn out when they're reading scripts, David Cross is one of the last people on the planet I would have expected to make a deal like that.
@theodacourt said:
That's actually the thing that pissed me off most, that it was dumb and brainless. It's Sherlock Holmes, for crying out loud! I mean at least try to make it somewhat intelligent and clever. If Robert Downey Jr had been playing some other Victorian consulting detective, or if this hadn't been a sequel to a movie that was actually genuinely enjoyable, I might have disliked Game of Shadows less.
I did quite like The Iron Lady. It was an interesting story and Streep was amazing. I didn't think the rest of it wasn't bad...it just wasn't all that good either.
It's a bit of a shame Girl with the Dragon Tattoo isn't making more...but then it's hardly going to be a big draw. I suppose it's actually doing quite well, considering it's subject matter.
I find it strange that books that are hits and sell really well (generally ones aimed towards an older audience) never do too stellar box office-wise. It seems like only the young adult series' (HP and Twilight) and anything Nicholas Sparks end up doing well. Even something like The Road didn't do well, but really only had a limited release. I wonder if it is just that people who read book with darker stories would rather read about it than actually see it on screen. Dragon Tattoo has some pretty messed up stuff, but I heard that even The Road was one of the most depressing books ever. It just makes me wonder how stuff like The Great Gatsby and Abraham Linclon Vampire Hunter will do.
That being said, I really liked Dragon Tattoo quite a lot and I am just about to start the book. I kind of want to hold out on the 2nd book until the 2nd film is made. If that ends up being winter 2013, I may have a hard time not picking the books up! It really does suck waiting for movies sometimes!
@Brendan said:
This wasn't JUST a children oriented film, this was an Alvin and the Chipmunks movie. Actors generally get scripts before they sign on to a picture (exceptions exist, but that's usually along the lines of "This director is SO UTTERLY competent/well-known/legendary that I don't need to see anything beforehand"). Let's face it: an Alvin and the Chipmunks Movie isn't exactly going to turn out to be the next Princess Bride.