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DVD/Blu-Ray: Puss In Boots Finally Arrives To Satiate Your Fetish For Puss, Boots

You have the weirdest fetishes. What's wrong with you, man?

Is that egg going to show us his "O" face?
Is that egg going to show us his "O" face?

Interesting week for DVDs, with at least a couple of films coming along that I actually do feel like watching. I'm not going to buy any of them, mind you, but I do want to at least watch a few of the movies on the list below. Note that by "list below," I'm referring to the main list of films at the bottom of this post, not any of the following films that sound like they'd be absolutely terrible, yet also come out this week:

1. Puss in Boots

Can't afford Mike Myers anymore? Call Antonio Banderas; it's not like he needs eighty million dollars to come in and record for a few hours. This is exactly what I surmise was the genesis for Puss In Boots.

2. Tower Heist

This movie is the cinematic equivalent of a flaccid penis. That statement popped into my mind just now, and now there it is in front of you! It's hard to call it horrible, and it wasn't exactly a bomb, but if I were this movie's mother I would be disappointed in it, as if my son aspired to do no more than work at a fast-food place. But then again, I'd be the mother of the only penis in the world who could flip burgers. And I'd be a woman. I don't understand any of what I'm saying.

3. J. Edgar

This felt like a movie that just didn't know where it wanted to go. I didn't particularly like it, myself, but maybe all the people who didn't see it will be able to judge it for themselves now?

4. Martha Marcy May Marlene

Everyone has raved about this movie, which means that I will have to watch it. The end.

5. The Mighty Macs

I love me some Carla Gugino, but alas I don't think a movie about her teaching an all-women's basketball team at a Catholic high school is going to feature much nudity. Although, if it did, I have a feeling it'd have a chance at some Oscars. At least, in my mind.

6. The Way

Emilio Estevez wrote and directed this movie that stars his father. By most accounts it's pretty good, but I still have a hard time with Emilio Estevez in anything other than Men at Work.

7. London Boulevard

I've come to appreciate Colin Farrell as an actor, oddly enough. And I like crime movies. Maybe I'll check this out.

8. The Son of No One

I will not check out anything with this much Chatum on the poster.

9. Retreat

A micro-cast film with only a few performers, Retreat is theoretically an apocalyptic film about a couple on a remote island who deal with a castaway who brings news about a disease that's sweeping Europe. But is he telling the truth? We'll find out when Netflix delivers my disc!

10. Nurse Jackie

In TV DVDs, we have: Borgia: Season One, Weeds: Season Seven, Rules of Engagement: Season Five

DonChipotleon Feb. 21, 2012 at 7:37 a.m.

Rorie, sometimes I wonder how your mind works when I read stuff like that Tower Heist.

skrutopon Feb. 21, 2012 at 7:43 a.m.

Return To Bloodfart Lake is what happens after I eat burritos.

Fun fact: the extras dressed as nuns in The Mighty Macs were the actual players from the team that the movie is about. Also, I've taken a picture with Teresa Grentz who was on that team...she's tall.

Mr_skeletonon Feb. 21, 2012 at 8:25 a.m.

Behold my amazing photoshop skills and fear.

teh_destroyeron Feb. 21, 2012 at 8:34 a.m.

Flaccid Penis?

Winstonon Feb. 21, 2012 at 9:07 a.m.

screw you rorie... i love puss in boots

Linkster7on Feb. 21, 2012 at 10:04 a.m.

How high are you right now Rorie?

DStasonon Feb. 21, 2012 at 10:16 a.m.

I don't think I would go to a lake called Bloodfart a first time, let alone Return to Bloodfart Lake.

RoyaleWifCheeseon Feb. 21, 2012 at 10:19 a.m.
After In Bruges, I was kinda stoked to hear about London Boulevard. The 33% rating on Rotten Tomatoes suggests I should skip it.
vinsanityv22on Feb. 21, 2012 at 10:20 a.m.

"not any of the following films that sound like they'd be absolutely terrible, yet also come out this week:"

"Return to Bloodfart Lake"

....

C'mon Rorie, you KNOW you want to be a part of Return to Bloodfart Lake!

Oh and also, AVN: Alien Vs. Ninja looks pretty cool, by crazy Japanese kung fu movie (like Versus) standards:

B_Hearton Feb. 21, 2012 at 10:35 a.m.

Love me some Puss in boots, and will be picking up Tower Heist as well. Eddie Murphy is making a career comeback!

AlKusanagion Feb. 21, 2012 at 12:05 p.m.

Can't be the same Alien vs Ninja as in that trailer since that's been out on blu-ray and DVD for a year. And it's awesome.

SmokeYouon Feb. 21, 2012 at 12:09 p.m.

Picked up J. Edgar today and also plan on getting London Boulevard eventually.

Hot_Karlon Feb. 21, 2012 at 12:27 p.m.
Eh, I enjoyed Tower Heist for what it was. I wouldn't recommend it for more than a rental though.
Alien vs. Ninja: Live Action Movie. That is all.
LiquidSwordson Feb. 21, 2012 at 12:50 p.m.

@Mr_skeleton said:

Behold my amazing photoshop skills and fear.

@_________@ Mein Gott!

mylifeforAiuron Feb. 21, 2012 at 2:01 p.m.

But, but... Young Guns, Rorie! Young Guns! How could you possibly hold Estevez' acting career in question after Young Guns!?

Undeadpoolon Feb. 22, 2012 at 2:56 p.m.

Whenever I hear about Martin Sheen, I invariably think of Joe Estevez in such cinematic hits as "Soultaker" and "Werewolf." And that usually makes me pretty happy.

@Mr_skeleton said:

Behold my amazing photoshop skills and fear.

Well it's official: I now hate everything forever.

Dig Deeper into Puss in Boots

Puss in Boots is a spinnoff of the Shrek franchise. Taking place before the Shrek films, it follows the titular Puss in Boots as he battles against the evil Jack and Jill.

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Teaser Trailer: Skyfall

Hoping anticipation's not the best part.

Trailer: The Master

I'm mean ya, it's gonna be great.

BOX OFFICE: You sunk my Battleship....

Thanks a lot Avengers.

Trailer: The Great Gatsby

I want to go to there...

G.I. Joe Retaliation: Release date moved so it is not a summer movie anymore.

Why? So it can be converted to 3D. Smart move or suspicious?

What to Watch: Monday

House...series finale...enough said.

Red Band Trailer: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Not another ridiculous vampire story. Please don't force me to click play... wait, what? This actually looks cool.

3D...will it ever go away?

I mean, can we all just admit it sucks already?

G.I. Joe Retaliation: Release date moved so it is not a summer movie anymore.

Why? So it can be converted to 3D. Smart move or suspicious?

Trailer: The Master

I'm mean ya, it's gonna be great.

3D...will it ever go away?

I mean, can we all just admit it sucks already?

BOX OFFICE: You sunk my Battleship....

Thanks a lot Avengers.

Teaser Trailer: Skyfall

Hoping anticipation's not the best part.

What to Watch: Wednesday

The Wire and the finale of Modern Family...very different, but great in their own ways.

What to Watch: Tuesday

Summer slump is here...grab some discs and start a marathon instead.

DVD/Blu-Ray: May 22nd

So many choices, so little time...what to do?

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