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Fast Five Crashes Prom, Dylan Dog Gets Mauled, and Other Box Office News

The less said about Hoodwinked Too!, the better.

By Alex Navarro  |  May 2, 2011


 We're only crashing platinum sports cars from here on out!
 We're only crashing platinum sports cars from here on out!
There are good opening weekends, there are great opening weekends, and then there are Fast Five opening weekends. The latest Vin Diesel / Paul Walker speed-and-heisting-fest opened to a record-breaking $83.6 million, which handily trumped the last movie's $70 million plus opening in 2009, and happens to be the highest opening for any movie in April. Ever. So, hey, that's pretty good.

This gets even more insane when you look at the movie's international numbers. Fast Five opened a week or two ahead of the US in some countries, but regardless, the movie has currently made more than $80 million in other countries, meaning that it's taken in more than $165 million total across the globe. The movie cost $120 million to make, by the way. Gee, ya think we might be seeing some more sequels?

The rest of this week's new films were, unsurprisingly, comparatively grim. Hell, even uncomparitively, these numbers are pretty crappy. Disney's hyperidealized, hypercliched high school movie, Prom, opened fifth with about $5 million, and the super-chintzy looking (and apparently abysmal) animated sequel, Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil, came in sixth with around $4.1 million.

Both kinda lousy openings, but none of it compares to the utter tragedy that is Dylan Dog: Dead of Night. It opened smaller than the rest, with around 875 screens showing it, but even with that number the movie failed to crack $1 million bucks, and barely did $1,000 per screen. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Werner Herzog's 3D cave drawings documentary, Cave of Forgotten Dreams, opened on five screens, and made a per-screen average of more than $25,000. So, to recap, people would rather watch a crazy old German man walk around in caves and pontificate endlessly--in 3D no less--than watch Brandon Routh fight shitty vampire zombies. Remember when Brandon Routh was Superman? Hollywood, she is quite the harsh mistress.

Let's have a top ten list, just for shits and giggles, eh?

1. Fast Five

$83.6 million / NEW
That this movie happens to be awesome makes its utter decimation of the competition all that much better. How many out there went to see it this weekend, and did you find it as fantastic as I did? If not, what the hell is wrong with you?
2. Rio

$14.4 million / NEW
As the only not completely awful-looking children's entertainment not related to Easter on the docket, it's unsurprising this held on so strong. Then again, I'd have just taken my kids to Fast Five. They've got to learn about living their lives a quarter mile at a time someday.
3. Madea's Big Happy Family

$10.1 million / $41.1 million
A nearly 60% drop from last weekend, but considering that Tyler Perry makes these movies for chitlins, I imagine nobody is terribly concerned.
4. Water for Elephants

$9.1 million / $32.3 million
Further proving that without his sparkly vampire powers, Robert Pattinson is no Paul Walker.
5. Prom

$5 million / NEW
Bad opening, but this only cost $8 million to make, so yeah, we'll probably be getting Prom sequels. May I suggest: Prom II: Everyone Gets Murdered?
6. Hoodwinked Too! Hood VS. Evil

$4.1 million / NEW
Does anyone even remember the first Hoodwinked movie? I had completely forgotten it even existed until I saw these posters. These awful, unholy looking posters. Seriously, how did this even get made?
7. Soul Surfer

$3.3 million / $33.8 million
Couple friends of mine went to see this last week, and reported back that it was the most vaguely Christian movie they'd ever seen, in that the whole "faith" thing was so heavily implied, but barely touched upon. So, basically, this is the Evanescence of movies. Awesome.
8. Insidious

$2.7 million / $48.3 million
Creepy kid is still creepy... and profitable.
9. Hop

$2.6 million / $105.3 million
A nearly 80% drop from Easter weekend, proving that movies about Easter Bunnies don't have legs post-Easter. Feel free to drop that little nugget into the filing cabinet of obvious-yet-unnecessary knowledge in your brain.
10. Source Code

$2.5 million / $48.9 million
Source Code continues to hang in there, like that kitten on that poster I saw that one time, only like a whole bunch less adorable. Sorry Jake Gyllenhaal, you are no adorable kitten.

Dropped Out: African Cats; Hanna; Scream 4

Source: Box Office Mojo
Filed under: African Cats: Kingdom of Courage, Hanna, Scream 4, Cave of Forgotten Dreams, Dylan Dog: Dead of Night , Source Code, Hop, Insidious, Soul Surfer, Prom, Hoodwinked Too! Hood VS. Evil, Water for Elephants, Madea's Big Happy Family, Rio, Fast Five
27 Comments
chu52on May 2, 2011 at 11:01 a.m.
Vrrroooooom
angelfan91on May 2, 2011 at 11:04 a.m.

I didn't get to see Fast Five this weekend.  I had to work Friday and Saturday (at a theater incidentally).  I'm going to see it tomorrow.  Cannot wait!
Rayethon May 2, 2011 at 11:06 a.m.
I lived my life a quarter mile at a time this past weekend.  Great times.

Also, did anyone else's theater boo the scene after the Fast Five credits?  I smiled a bit when that happened.
Undeadpoolon May 2, 2011 at 11:12 a.m.
I'm really happy to see a movie with Vin Diesel and The Rock open so strongly. I feel like both those guys deserve better than their lot in Hollywood.
oddjobon May 2, 2011 at 11:13 a.m.
I saw Fast Five. I liked it.

@Rayeth, nobody booed at my theater, people were pretty stoked.
Chaoson May 2, 2011 at 11:13 a.m.
I'm really surprise how Soul Surfer is staying on the the top ten. I really don't see adds for it on TV, or any where else for that matter. 
Popcornon May 2, 2011 at 11:19 a.m.
more! MORE! 
Fragonardon May 2, 2011 at 11:27 a.m.
Saw Fast Five on Sunday. Loved the crap out of it. In fact, a friend and I did a Fast and Furious marathon of all the films this past weekend. Fast Five is by far the best in the series.
T4RTERS4UCEon May 2, 2011 at 11:27 a.m.
Uh, Rio ain't new.
And 83 million dollars is a lot of dollars!
Daemonon May 2, 2011 at 11:30 a.m.
I think it's more of a people would rather see Werner Herzog do anything than watch a lousy and obscure adaptation type of situation.
craigbo180on May 2, 2011 at 11:33 a.m.
@Rayeth said:
" I lived my life a quarter mile at a time this past weekend.  Great times.

Also, did anyone else's theater boo the scene after the Fast Five credits?  I smiled a bit when that happened.
"
Literally everyone had left before the credits in mine, it was only my friends and one random dude who stayed.
ZipCrashon May 2, 2011 at 11:36 a.m.
Man I didn't know there was a scene after the credits. :(

Also Rio isn't NEW.
Bones8677on May 2, 2011 at 11:37 a.m.
Was the Last Fast and Furious movie really in 2009? Feels like it was less than a year ago. I'm getting old...
PatVB moderator on May 2, 2011 at 11:45 a.m.
HEY ALEX, HOW COME I NEVER SEE YOUR KIDS DRIFT?
karobiton May 2, 2011 at 11:47 a.m.
Will Fast Five really have legs? I feel like this may be an instance where everyone who knows they want to see it went and did so this weekend. But I also have no interest in it, so I could be projecting. Still, good job those guys!
SaucyJackon May 2, 2011 at 11:48 a.m.
None of my friends have agreed to go see Fast 5 with me. They also don't believe me when I tell them it's supposed to be awesome. I need new friends.
Tartaruson May 2, 2011 at 12:01 p.m.
I would rather  watch Herzog read a book aloud than most of the shit on this list. No wonder Fast Five had such a strong opening when this is the pish its competing against.
JacDGon May 2, 2011 at 12:09 p.m.
I'd take Gyllenhaal over a Kitten every day of the weak, he is no Joseph Gordon-levitt though, I share Rories nearly insane amount of non-homosexual love towards him.
HT101on May 2, 2011 at 12:51 p.m.
I saw Fast Five this weekend and thought it was brilliant.  The final scene also made me super stoked.
snake_runneron May 2, 2011 at 1:19 p.m.
THEY DESTROYED A BANK WITH A SAFE FULL OF MONEY!

That might be the most meta destruction of property, ever. 

Dig Deeper into African Cats: Kingdom of Courage

Disney documentary focusing on the big cats of Africa. For every ticket purchased opening week DisneyNature will donate 20 cents to save the African Savanna. Regardless, they will pay at least $100,000.

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