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Hesitation Will Cause Your Worst Fears To Come True: Point Break Remake Announced

Iconic 1991 Bigelow adrenaline film earns remake to be "set in the world of international extreme sports." Rights-holders also threaten TV shows, video games.

The ultimate bromance.
The ultimate bromance.

You can say a lot of things about Point Break, the 1991 Kathryn Bigelow film about a bunch of SoCal anarchists who robbed breaks while dressed as famous presidents, in between bouts of surfing and jumping out of planes and all other sorts of adrenaline junkie activities. It's hard even now to decide whether it's ironically great or just unapologetically straightforward in a way that's difficult to appreciate in our irony-doused times, but it's a heck of a fun film either way, helping to launch Keanu Reeves into his post Bill And Ted movie star career and featuring one of Patrick Swayze's more memorable performances, as well as a boatload of ridiculous lines. So, of course, it has to be remade.

As such, Alcon Entertainment has announced that it's going to be fast-tracking a script by Kurt Wimmer and begin the search for a director for their new take on the story, which will again feature an FBI agent attempting to infiltrate a criminal ring by going undercover, except this time around, instead of surfing, the criminals are involved in..."international extreme sports." That's right, folks, Bodhi will now be riding a BMX bike, or snowboard slaloming, or perhaps bungee jumping, during his downtime from bank robbery. Or maybe he'll be partaking in "barefoot waterski jumping." I dunno, man, I just...I don't know. Is there any chance that this won't star Paul Walker?

It's worth reading the full press release just to get a whiff of the great wafts of bullshit that's flowing from it, as well as the shitty copy-editing:

LOS ANGELES, CA., SEPTEMBER 12, 2011 – Financing and production company Alcon Entertainment is set to remake the 1991 action-thriller POINT BREAK as a feature film for release by Warner Bros, its home studio, it was announced by Alcon co-founders and co-CEO’s Broderick Johnson and Andrew Kosove. The Alcon principals secured rights to the project the week of the original film’s 20th anniversary from RGM Media, John McMurrick and Chris Taylor. Kosove and Johnson will produce along with Michael DeLuca, John Baldecchi, Chris Taylor and Kurt Wimmer who also wrote the screenplay (“Salt,” “Law Abiding Citizen,” upcoming “Total Recall”). RGM Media principal Devesh Chetty and investor John McMurrick, Chairman of Marloss Entertainment, will serve as Executive Producers. The film is being fast tracked, with the filmmakers set to take the project out to directors soon.
The new version is set in the world of international extreme sports, and like the original involves an undercover FBI agent infiltrating a criminal ring, but plot points beyond that have not been revealed by the filmmakers. State Johnson and Kosove: “Who doesn’t love the Kathryn Bigelow original and its pure heart-pounding action and thrills? Kurt’s take infuses the story and characters with new twists and settings.” Adds DeLuca “’Point Break’ wasn’t just a film, it was a Zen meditation on testosterone fueled action and manhood in the late 20th century and we hope to create the same for the young 21st!” In addition to the feature rights, Alcon has also secured television and gaming rights to POINT BREAK. The Bigelow original, starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze and GaryBusey, was produced by Largo Entertainment and released by Fox.
Clonedzeroon Sept. 12, 2011 at 3:51 p.m.
why?
MrMazzon Sept. 12, 2011 at 3:55 p.m.

Only if Keenue Reevs plays Bodhi so things will become full circle.

Man they are probably going to get someone like Channing Tatum to be Agent Utah! At least give me Chris Pine. If someone else was to play Bodhi id say JGL because why not and it could happen if they get Tatum.

Megalonon Sept. 12, 2011 at 3:59 p.m.

Is it April Fools Day already?

KeanuDowneyJron Sept. 12, 2011 at 4:08 p.m.
As someone who considers Point Break in the Top 5 movies of all time, I am interested to see how this turns out. It will most likely be terrible. But I will probably see it, like a chump.
RoboCopon Sept. 12, 2011 at 4:13 p.m.
@Clonedzero said:
why?

MrPinkon Sept. 12, 2011 at 4:24 p.m.

Not that this was a great movie but it holds a special place for a number of people I know. Doing a re-make sounds a bit weird and not needed but that is Hollywood. Or wherever the studio is located.

endaroundon Sept. 12, 2011 at 4:30 p.m.

Only one thing could make this better. 3D!!!!!!!

Chirelon Sept. 12, 2011 at 4:34 p.m.
@Clonedzero said:
why?
Yeah. My first thoughts exactly.
ArmedBearon Sept. 12, 2011 at 5:13 p.m.

Starring Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

ryanwhoon Sept. 12, 2011 at 5:14 p.m.
Surfer dudes are barely even a thing anymore. They should probably be plankers or something else mad retarded in order to reflect modern times.
phoenix87xon Sept. 12, 2011 at 5:30 p.m.
You can't remake perfection.
Buckwatterson Sept. 12, 2011 at 5:53 p.m.

FUCKIN A! I HOPE THEY SPIN INFINITE BRODIES BRO! OWWWWWW!

Mooseslayeron Sept. 12, 2011 at 5:54 p.m.

Well, if they have to. I say Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Utah, Josh Holloway as Bodhi (Chris Hemsworth 2nd choice), Zooey Deschanel as Tyler and Charlie Sheen as the Gary Busey character (gotta keep it crazy). John C. McGinley reprises his role. Oh, and keep Nixon and Reagan masks, but add Clinton and W. Bush instead of Carter and whatever the other one was. That could be something.

Walreese55on Sept. 12, 2011 at 5:58 p.m.

@Mooseslayer said:

Well, if they have to. I say Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Utah, Josh Holloway as Bodhi (Chris Hemsworth 2nd choice), Zooey Deschanel as Tyler and Charlie Sheen as the Gary Busey character (gotta keep it crazy). John C. McGinley reprises his role. Oh, and keep Nixon and Reagan masks, but add Clinton and W. Bush instead of Carter and whatever the other one was. That could be something.

Yeah John C. McGinley still fits this role perfectly

xenomuson Sept. 12, 2011 at 6:08 p.m.

Excuse me while I fire my gun into the air and yell "Aaaarrrgh!"

lemontronon Sept. 12, 2011 at 6:28 p.m.
AHHHHHHHH!!!
PatVB moderator on Sept. 12, 2011 at 6:52 p.m.

Man, you weren't kidding. That was some really sloppy copy.

Also, I will only go see this if Keanu Reeves reprises his masterful role.

Bumbuliuzon Sept. 12, 2011 at 6:59 p.m.

Please let the bad Hollywood man stop re-making everything in sight instead of creating something new. How long until they remake films made in around 2000's?

TheSouthernDandyon Sept. 12, 2011 at 7:20 p.m.

This is...not gonna be good. At all.

vinsanityv22on Sept. 12, 2011 at 8:46 p.m.
To quote Darth Vader, "Noooooooooooo!"
 
But then again, Keanu Reeves says Bill & Ted 3 will happen. Dan Akyroyd says Ghostbusters 3 will happen. My point is, sometimes movies don't get made:) Hopefully, this fate will affect the Point Break remake. 
 
Are kids nowadays so shallow as to refuse to watch a movie from the 80's/90's? Like they're ancient sh*t from the 1920's? That's offensive.

Dig Deeper into Point Break

FBI agent Johnny Utah goes undercover to infiltrate a gang of adrenaline chasing surfers suspected of robbing banks lead by Bodhi.

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