Screened News

People Flock to Watch Los Angeles Explode, Shun Creepy Computer People, and Other Box Office News

Plus, Red Riding Hood is not your new Twilight.


 I didn't see the movie, but looking over the stills, clearly this is a story about a space pedophile.
 I didn't see the movie, but looking over the stills, clearly this is a story about a space pedophile.
As I ducked around PAX East looking at vidja games, and Rorie bobbed and weaved around Austin looking for panels and screenings, regular movie stuff happened. Specifically, Battle: Los Angeles came out loud and angry, taking the top spot for this weekend's box office. It grossed around $36 million, which sandwiches it between District 9 and The Day the Earth Stood Still on the all-time box office list for alien invasion flicks. Transformers 2 remains our champion. Thank god.
 
Elsewhere, the Twilight wannabe Red Riding Hood came in third, with about $14.1 million in tickets. That sandwiches it between the Jack Nicholson werewolf "classic" Wolf, and 2005's Cursed, which I didn't even know existed until just now. 
 
The last new release of the weekend was the Robert Zemeckis-produced 3D animated creep-fest Mars Needs Moms. Up until now, people have been all about Zemeckis' brand of recreating humans through computers for no other reason than because he can. Now, it seems, they've turned on him, with the film only taking in $6.8 million upon opening. Just to list a few computer animated films that had stronger openings, we've got The Ant Bully, Alpha and Omega, 9, Igor and Space Chimps. Thankfully, it managed to beat Fly Me to the Moon. That would have just been embarrassing, otherwise.
 
On the indie front, a few new releases hit, and people evidently were very much enthused to get back to their local art house theaters after a long dry spell. Jane Eyre, Kill the Irishman and Certified Copy all debuted on 4-5 screens each, and all of them grossed over $16,000 per-screen, with Eyre earning the highest average of $45,000 per. I like to think that's due to what I call the " Fassbender effect." Namely, that he's so dreamy.

C'mon, let's check out the full top 10 list. I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU BEHIND.

1. Battle: Los Angeles

$36 million / NEW
Wait, you mean the first legitimately exciting looking blockbuster action film of 2011 was a financial success, despite middling to not good reviews? Tell me another one!

2. Rango

$23.1 million / $68.7 million
Nice to see Rango hang on strong for its second week. I couldn't tell if the first week word of mouth would send parents screaming away from this thing, with their children's eyes and ears covered. Apparently not. Yay society!

3. Red Riding Hood

$14.1 million / NEW
Catherine Hardwicke will just have to keep looking for her next Twilight, it seems. Has anyone done a sexy abstinence parable version of C.H.U.D.?

4. The Adjustment Bureau

$11.5 million / $38.5 million
Another one I thought might nosedive after word of mouth got around, but apparently not. Apparently I'm just not giving people enough credit when it comes to good, if slightly mismarketed movies.

5. Mars Needs Moms!

$6.8 million / NEW
Just for funsies, I'm gonna take a look at this movie's budget and OH MY GOD HOW DID THIS MOVIE COST $150 MILLION TO MAKE OH MAH GAWD WHAT A FLOP WHAT A FLOP STONE COLD STONE COLD HELLFIRE AND BRIMSTONE.

6. Hall Pass

$5.1 million / $34.9 million
Yet another movie I figured would drop hard this week, further proving that when it comes to box office predictions, I am more Criswell than Nostradamus.

7. Beastly

$5 million / $17 million
I finally figured out who it is that crazy makeup job makes Alex Pettyfer look like: An asshole.

8. Just Go With It

$4 million / $94 million
How about Just Go Away?

9. The King's Speech

$3.6 million / $129.1 million
After 16 weeks at the box office (most of those in the top 10), I think we can finally say goodbye to the Best Picture winner after this week. It's been a hell of a run, filled with jokes about stuttering, fancy-pants English people and gay porn, but now it's time to say goodbye the only way I know how: With a totally safe for work porn parody trailer.

10. Gnomeo and Juliet

$3.5 million / $89 million
The biggest money drop of the weekend, which makes sense considering all those families that likely flocked to go see Mars Needs...oh, wait...

 
Dropped Out: Unknown, I Am Number Four, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never
 
Source: Box Office Mojo
DG991on March 14, 2011 at 9:43 a.m.
that kings speech parody is awful. 
 
and pressing 3 is funny....
endaroundon March 14, 2011 at 9:44 a.m.
I'm really trying to figure out how you make a family movie and then riff on Mars Needs Women for the title.
PatVB moderator on March 14, 2011 at 9:49 a.m.
Oh man, I literally did a spit take when I read the blurb about Mars Needs Moms. Also, what exactly is "Stone cold fire and brimstone?" I can't imagine anything that contradictory is good.
Morden2261on March 14, 2011 at 9:51 a.m.
While I'm sad for the people who will probably end up unemployed after this Mars Needs Moms fiasco, I can't help but be happy that such utter garbage didn't make a bunch of money (and in fact failed super hard) just because it was the new family movie of the week.
StingerMK2on March 14, 2011 at 10:01 a.m.
Cursed is an awful, awful film. not even Christina Ricci's hotness can save it
Hadoken101on March 14, 2011 at 10:01 a.m.
@pat4327:  It's a reference to former WWF/WWE commentator Jim Ross who had AWESOME reactions to anything especially in relation to Stone Cold Steve Austin, unless you already knew that and I just made an ass out of myself >.>
PatVB moderator on March 14, 2011 at 10:15 a.m.
@Hadoken101: I figured it had something to with Stone Cold Austin, but I wasn't sure. Either way, you're probably not an ass. So you've got that going for you.
Flap_jacksonon March 14, 2011 at 10:26 a.m.
The King's Piece. HILARIOUS!
PenguinDuston March 14, 2011 at 10:47 a.m.
Between Take Me Home Tonight and Mars Needs Moms, when movies fail, they fail BIG these days.  Battle: Los Angeles seems to have overcome the bad reviews and considering its meager budget for a sci-fi action film, it will likely turn a profit eventually.  Could this mean a Battle: LA 2...Battle: San Dimas!  Probably, although it might have different players.  Did anyone go see this specifically because Aaron Eckhart?  Beastly is a bit of a surprise.  It was made cheap and two weeks later its already in the black.  Rango's drop is a bit disquieting though.  I fear it won't make back its total budget until the DVD sales.
AssInAsson March 14, 2011 at 10:58 a.m.
Happy for Battle LA doing well, I'm happy with supporting it since it feels more intimate than other action movies. And way better action. 
hagridoreon March 14, 2011 at 11:33 a.m.
Those MNM martians do look TERRIFYING.
Bones8677on March 14, 2011 at 11:49 a.m.
Welp, it's official - people want Robert Zemeckis to stop making these CGI movies.  I wanted him to stop after Beowulf. >_>
Hot_Karlon March 14, 2011 at 12:09 p.m.
BAW GAWD STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD IS THE NEW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
 
EDIT: Man, Mars Needs Moms is going to be a tremendous flop. Like one of the biggest of all time. If it has a multiplier like Astro Boy, it'll be lucky to hit $20 million domestic and maybe (by the work of a goddamn miracle) $80 million total worldwide. That covers, what, barely half of the film's budget (not including prints & advertising)? Even Speed Racer didn't flop this hard. 
 
EDIT OF THE EDIT: Remember that thing I said about making a bit of money in international sales? It made a whopping $2 million from 14 different countries last weekend (about 1/4 of all international territories). That movie is not just fucked, it's buttfucked with a Tyrannosaurus dick. 
LiquidSwordson March 14, 2011 at 1:02 p.m.
Can't stop laughing at the Beastly description!
Everyones_A_Criticon March 14, 2011 at 2:10 p.m.
I didn't check out any new releases this weekend, but I did finally go see Black Swan. That was a Hell of a movie.
Mushiron March 14, 2011 at 2:13 p.m.
$150 million for Mars Needs Moms? $150 million!? Holy shit! 
 
Umm.... good luck Zemeckis.
Xpgamer7on March 14, 2011 at 2:13 p.m.
C.H.U.D. jokes... Not the best week so far. Made up for it a little with the Criswell reference though.
ArbitraryWateron March 14, 2011 at 2:33 p.m.
Mars Needs Moms doing poorly seems like proof enough that Robert Zemeckis should really, really, really stop making his uncanny valley nightmare CG movies. Why can't he make like... a Back to the Future reboot or something similarly soul crushing instead?
XNaphryzon March 14, 2011 at 4:13 p.m.
@PenguinDust said:
" Between Take Me Home Tonight and Mars Needs Moms, when movies fail, they fail BIG these days.  Battle: Los Angeles seems to have overcome the bad reviews and considering its meager budget for a sci-fi action film, it will likely turn a profit eventually.  Could this mean a Battle: LA 2...Battle: San Dimas!  Probably, although it might have different players.  Did anyone go see this specifically because Aaron Eckhart?  Beastly is a bit of a surprise.  It was made cheap and two weeks later its already in the black.  Rango's drop is a bit disquieting though.  I fear it won't make back its total budget until the DVD sales. "
If you throw in the first week of international box office and assume half of that for the second week, I think Rango's around 90 million total now. I think there's an okay chance it gets back to even by the time the next animated feature hits theaters (which is Hop first week of April and Rio 2 weeks later).
vinsanityv22on March 14, 2011 at 10:51 p.m.
Holy shit Alex; the King's Piece is AMAZING. Especially the guy doing Colin Firth's part. That is, without a doubt, the best porn acting I've ever seen. They could teach Alex Pettyfer, Hayden Christensen and GI Joe's Duke himself -- C-Tates (I can't remember if it's you or Rorie who calls him that) --  a thing or two about acting :D

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