Screened News

Sean Connery Coming Out of Retirement to Make Awful-Looking Animated Film

Sir Billi is a movie about an old man who skateboards and saves animals...or something.

 
  
Embedded above is the "sizzle reel" for an animated film from Scotland called Sir Billi (discovered via /Film). It is noteworthy for two reasons (well, three, if you count the fact that it features a talking goat in a Game of Death jumpsuit). One, it stars the once-retired Sean Connery as the titular hero, a weird, beaver-helping octogenarian with a penchant for skateboarding and waving his hands around creepily. Two: This movie looks terrible.
 
The thing to bear in mind is that this is a promo reel, and not really indicative of a finished product. That said, in its current state, this movie looks like the sort of direct-to-video CG-animated creep-fest you'd see in the $3 DVD bin at Wal-mart. 
 
I get that this is Scottish made, and mayhaps that helped draw Sir Connery back into the wonderful world of film for this one last job. However, it might have been nice if he'd, you know, not swallowed a bottle of Quaaludes before getting into the vocal booth. His voice work sounds about as sleepy and uninterested as when he got behind the mic for that From Russia With Love video game back in 2005.
 
...a skateboard? Really? REALLY?!?
Olivawon June 24, 2010 at 3:05 p.m.
Jesus I was hoping you were exaggerating.
 
I could not even finish watching that.
moose39on June 24, 2010 at 3:07 p.m.
:(
Daniel staff on June 24, 2010 at 3:11 p.m.
You're better than this, Connery.
Sharpshooteron June 24, 2010 at 3:11 p.m.

I think i may be ill after that.
Godoton June 24, 2010 at 3:12 p.m.
I'm wondering what's worse to have as your final film in a 50 years or so career; this, or the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
Burrobeanon June 24, 2010 at 3:16 p.m.
I can't figure out which is worse, the amateur-hour character design, the almost non-existent facial animation, or that over-wrought voice over.  The cheap ploy of the Aston Martin didn't help.  Sheesh.
 
I hope this isn't the last film Connery makes, 'cause it would be a shame to end such a career on this stinker.  I'm reminded of Peter Sellers, who could've gone out on "Being There", but no, he had to make "The Fiendish Plot of Dr. Fu Manchu" right before he died.  Of course, Connery's last film was "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen," which was no winner, either.
Pope staff on June 24, 2010 at 3:17 p.m.
There is SO MUCH skateboarding in that trailer. SO MUCH.
Rorie staff on June 24, 2010 at 3:24 p.m.
I hope Connery has a good lawyer to take care of his estate, because this has to act as proof that he's going senile, right?
Chocobo_Blitzeron June 24, 2010 at 3:25 p.m.
Genuinely disturbing.
Daftasabaton June 24, 2010 at 3:25 p.m.
I think this was made using BLENDER right?
Irish87on June 24, 2010 at 3:25 p.m.
Don't fall for it! This is actually the greatest movie ever made, they just put a thick layer of crap on top of it to fool... somebody. Either that or Sean Connery has Dementia. 
hagridoreon June 24, 2010 at 3:27 p.m.
DreamWorks will pick it up and put it in 3D. It'll blend right in with the shit they produce.
Jimboon June 24, 2010 at 3:28 p.m.
I musht be dreaming.
johnnydamageon June 24, 2010 at 3:28 p.m.

but its a Scottish adventure story like nothing before.
Sandoron June 24, 2010 at 3:31 p.m.
I stopped watching after 30 seconds. I'll just close this tab and pretend this whole thing never happened, mkay?
limecloudon June 24, 2010 at 3:31 p.m.
Alex Navarro said it best... "...what in the holy blue shitfuck".
TheMasterDSon June 24, 2010 at 3:34 p.m.
Looks like a bad video game tie in.
Tartaruson June 24, 2010 at 3:39 p.m.
This has to be a Joke... right? 
WalkerTR77on June 24, 2010 at 3:41 p.m.
As a Scot, please let me point out that this is not indicative of our country in any way. If you want a feel of the place try a deep fried pizza or a nice stabbing.
Alex staff on June 24, 2010 at 3:43 p.m.
@WalkerTR77: 
 
http://www.screened.com/angry-scottish-men/262-250/

Dig Deeper into Sean Connery

Sir Sean Connery (knighted in 2000) is a Scottish actor and producer known for his defining portrayal of James Bond throughout the 1960s and an Academy Award-winning performance in The Untouchables. Citing disappointment with the state of Hollywood and film production Connery announced his retirement from cinema in 2004.

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