Sunday School: Defining the '80s Through Film

Here is a concept that is sure to send chills up the spine of every person over the age of 25: There are adult human beings--ones who can drive, vote, and even legally imbibe alcohol--that spent nary a single day of their lives in any of the years between 1980 and 1989. Of course, every child of a specific decade has had this occur to them at some point. I'm sure former hippies gasped with puffs of reefer smoke when they realized there were kids out there who had never experienced tie-dye and free love in earnest. Still, this is my realization, and it terrifies me to no end.
 
I come to this frightening understanding as a result of the spate of '80s nostalgia movies that have hit over the last few years. Films like Adventureland, Hot Tub Time Machine and Take Me Home Tonight, which set their stories in the '80s with varying degrees of cultural rubbernecking peppered throughout. It's strange to me to think of people watching these movies who never saw any of this era firsthand, and the idea of them assuming that this is just how the '80s totally were. Sure, some of these movies nail important cultural touchstones, but others, well...it's more like half-assed cultural parody.
 
This led me to the idea of exploring the films of the '80s for their cultural significance. I don't mean the biggest, or even best movies of the '80s; I mean the most '80s movies. The films I've culled together for this feature contain so many specific tropes, cliches, songs, fashion choices, and unique elements of '80s culture that if you were to strap a kid down and force him to absorb the whole decade in a single, 24-hour period, these would be the movies you used to get the job done.
 
Of course, after days upon days of obsessing over this--and nearly losing my mind in a smoky haze of neon-tinted silhouetting and industrial sparks--I realized what I aimed to do was nearly impossible. There are just too many facets to this era to try to shoehorn into a single, all-encompassing marathon. 
 
Instead, think of this as a general education course on the decade, via its films. Over the next five Sundays, I'll be giving you three movies to chew on, along with some additional viewing options for those who wish to further their '80s education beyond the scope of my admittedly narrow vision. You may notice that I leave off some big films here, many of which are not movies set in the years between '80 and '89. I wanted to keep this to films specific to the decade, lest this thing balloon out of control. Sorry Indiana Jones, and sorry Empire Strikes Back. I love you both, but you're not a good fit.
 
For our first week, we examine the decade's obsession with beating up communists, maniacal exotic dancers, and teenagers smart enough to outwith the oppressive regimes of both the U.S. government and their high school faculty. Slip on your leotard and wrap yourself in an American flag, it's time to start a Global Thermonuclear War.

The Boxer Who Beat the Shit Out of Communism

Rocky IV (1985)

Yeah, well, duh. What sports movie better defines the culture of the '80s than Rocky IV? Here, the typical boxing movie drama gives way to a ludicrously threatening plot about Russian super-soldier turned boxer Ivan Drago, and his quest to crush American imperialism via the boxing ring. After he kills American icon Apollo Creed (!) in the ring, Rocky comes out of retirement and gives America the biggest moment of "USA! USA!" excitement since Hulk Hogan dropped the big leg on the Iron Sheik.

Other things that make this movie ever so '80s? We've got perennial '80s tall lady, Brigitte Nielsen; Dolph Lundgren as the hulking Ivan; what might be the longest training montage in human history; and inexplicable robot servants. Above all else, though, it's the Cold War effectively ended by a punch to the face, delivered by a guy wearing the American flag as shorts. You could totally do that kind of thing in the '80s.
 

Additional Viewing

• The Karate Kid (1984) - What child of the '80s didn't want to learn karate after watching Ralph Macchio's tortured teenager overcome a bunch of bullies with the help of his own personal sensei, in   Pat Morita? Especially after you watch its implausibly great and triumphant final fight scene (preceded by a delightful tournament montage). Secretly, though, we all just wanted to learn to do crane kicks and woo Elisabeth Shue. Few of us ever succeeded.
• Rad (1986) / Thrashin' (1986) - Extreme teens of the '80s were either BMXers or skaters. Rarely both, because that kind of awesomeness was almost unattainable. Though these movies are pretty similar, there are some differences. Rad was a "dorky kid wins girl and influences people by being totally radical" kind of thing, while Thrashin' was like Romeo & Juliet on skateboards. Thrashin' had a number of real life skate personalities (including Tony Hawk and Tony Alva), whereas Rad had Lori Loughlin. Thrashin's soundtrack had Fear, the Circle Jerks and Meat Loaf. Rad had a song called "Love Theme from Rad." Honestly? You really can't go wrong either way.
• Bloodsport (1988) - One of JCVD's early films, Bloodsport is the ultimate realization of the cheesy '80s martial arts movie. He plays Frank Dux, a real life karate man (who, perhaps dubiously, claimed to be a real ninja) who takes part in an illegal, underground martial arts tournament in Hong Kong and faces off against frequent martial arts bad guy Bolo Yeung. The whole movie is a celebration of slow-motion kicks, sweaty men in minimal clothing, and Van Damme's absurd ability to do the splits, and it is glorious.

 

The Highly Capable Nerd Who Saved the World

WarGames (1983)

WarGames contains several key '80s elements. It features a charming teenage lead who is seemingly capable of achieving anything he sets his mind to; it's a look at the formative years of computer culture; and it's one of many examples of the tensions between the U.S. and Russia making for compelling '80s filmmaking. Matthew Broderick's computer whizkid hacks into a government computer, and discovers a system designed to play out nuclear war scenarios. Mistaking it for a new video game, he nearly sets off WWIII. Broderick's nerd is less aggressively dorky than most, but his preternatural ability with computers and quick wit makes him a prime example of the overly capable high school kid. This is a fascinating look at both early computing culture and just how on edge '80s Americans were when it came to the threat of nuclear attack.

Additional Viewing:

• Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) - The timelessness of this film kept it off the main list, but there's no denying the distinctly '80s appeal of Ferris Bueller. Broderick plays quite possibly the coolest, most capable high school kid ever. Every teen wishes that they had Ferris' confidence and ability to get out of any jam. Toss in a great '80s soundtrack, Jeffrey Jones as an obsessively authoritarian principal and Jennifer Grey as Ferris' bitchy, uptight sister, and you've got a bona fide '80s classic.
• TRON (1982) - Possibly the most neon movie ever made, this tale of a programmer who gets zapped by lasers and transported into a gladiatorial world inside a computer game is a visual stunner, but also hard to watch, given how glacially slow it is. Still, it absolutely defines the early concepts of cyberspace in film, and it's another neat look at the early years of video gaming.
• Revenge of the Nerds (1984) - So maybe these nerds aren't quite as capable as any of the characters Broderick played, but it's hard to ignore the plight of Gilbert, Lewis, Poindexter and Booger, as they're tortured by college jocks. The Devo-inspired musical sequence at the end is enough to earn it a place on this list all by itself, but it's also one of the definitive college comedies of the era.
  

 

The Exotic Dancer With a Heart of Steel (and Killer Legwarmers)

Flashdance (1983)

A list involving '80s movies would be a colossal failure without some kind of ridiculous dance movie. Among them, few cater to so many key decade-specific cliches and concepts as Flashdance. Though its tale of a small-town girl who dreams of being a ballet superstar--while moonlighting as both an industrial welder and exotic dancer--is loosely based on a true story I somehow doubt the real life lady lived in near-perpetual musical montage the way Jennifer Beals does here.
 
From the Brazilian-friendly leotards, to the leggings and ripped sweaters, Beals is the living embodiment of all things dance/workout fashion of the 1980s. Add into the mix random breakdancing interludes, constant silhouetting of everything, the fact that she lives in a converted warehouse apartment (a frequent choice of real estate for many '80s film protagonists), her heavily industrial day job (the '80s had a weird industrial fetish) you've got one seriously '80s-ass movie. And, you can't discount the soundtrack, which featured two decade classics in Irene Cara's " Flashdance... What a Feeling" and " Maniac" by Michael Sembello--the latter of which is featured in a scene so often parodied in the years that followed, that there's no other choice but to call it the definitive dance moment of the decade.

Additional Viewing:

• Breakin' (1984) - Breakin' was Step Up before Channing Tatum was old enough to smirk. Though its sequel, Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo was more aggressively (and shittily) '80s, the first movie is a pretty amazing--if deeply cheesy--tribute to the then-burgeoning breakdancing scene. Also, THIS.
• Purple Rain (1984) - Not a dance film, but definitely fits into the mold of "small town artist fights against the odds to realize their big dreams." It really doesn't get much more '80s than Prince, and this movie is a shameless showcase of all things pertaining to the Purple One. It's a classic '80s musical, due largely to a killer soundtrack that became one of Prince's defining records.
• White Nights (1985) - A dance film that also manages to incorporate the whole Russian tension thing. An expatriate ballet dancer (played by Mikhail Baryshnikov) finds himself trapped back in Russia, and in the company of an American tap-dancer ( Gregory Hines), who himself defected to the U.S.S.R. Can't argue with two of the biggest dance personalities of the decade in one movie.

 
That does it for our first week's course. I think that gives you plenty to check out for your first week's viewing, and by all means, if you have other suggestions that fall into the various, tangential categories I've constructed here, bring 'em on via the comments. Next week, we'll be looking at the '80s' fascination with pectoral muscles, fishes removed from water, and dramatic stares. See you then!