Hollywood was sent a message this weekend, and that message read, "Get a few actors and a script about demonic possession written on a 48 hour coke bender together, film it on shitty handhelds for like a million bucks, and then give it a decent-sized marketing budget, and every fucking idiot in America will go see your shitbag movie."
Great going, guys.
Indeed, The Devil Inside, despite being panned as amateurish horseshit by basically everyone who has seen it--the recountings of boos following the "end" of the film have been cited by dozens of different filmgoers--managed to take the top slot at the box office this weekend. While that's less impressive given the fact that it was the only major new release this weekend, that doesn't excuse the fact that it debuted to the tune of $34 million. That's 34 times the film's actual budget. $34 million of people went into movie theaters and plunked down hard-earned cash for this rancid garbage. In case you're wondering why it is we as a society can't have nice things, it's because we're a bunch of ingrate fuckers who routinely let genuinely interesting/scary/awesome horror films like I Saw the Devil, Black Death, Let Me In, and Fright Night get cudgeled by the blunt cock of failure while soul-searing pieces of shit like this are allowed to succeed all willy-fucking-nilly.
Now, I know the bulk of the Screened audience isn't responsible for this sort of thing. I know that the vast majority of you out there are intelligent, well-read folk who do their due diligence before wandering into any old shitty movie. That said, I can't get to the unwashed, moronic masses via my particular editorial reach. I don't have the ability to get my message out to those inbred, collar-popping douchebags who take those chittering, chattering boob jobs they call girlfriends to insipid bullshit like The Devil Inside just so they can have an excuse to grope each other while texting in a darkened room. So because I cannot communicate with these people, who I assume are too busy commenting on Complex or Maxim online articles about the top 25 boobs in something or whatever to ever actually read this website, I'm letting loose my rage upon you, because you're the only audience I've got, dammit. If nothing else, share in my rage, and let us hate the world that surrounds us together.
The only upside to the general awfulness of early January film releases is that indie/limited releases tend to do pretty well during this period. While no indie movies of note have released in the last week, several biggies from the end of 2011 have continued to flourish. Most notably, the Cold War spy thriller Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy actually rocketed into the top 10 this week, and has made huge profits since its release into over 800 different theaters. Also, though the movie is supposedly a bit of a drag, the purportedly tremendous performance by Meryl Streep as Margaret Thatcher in The Iron Lady has bolstered that movie's ticket sales big time, as it took in an average of $34,500 on just five screens. Dueling it out for second place on the per-screen average list are the critically acclaimed Iranian drama A Separation (which I swear I'll check out this week sometime) and the cloying post-9/11 fairy tale Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, which both averaged a little over $16,000 per-screen this weekend on six screens each.
Now, we venture into the seedy world of illegal top ten lists, which are unsanctioned by the Catholic Church. Because that makes sense.
 | 1. The Devil Inside $34.5 million / NEW |
 | 2. Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol $20.5 million / $170.2 million |
 | 3. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows $14.1 million / $157.4 million |
 | 4. The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo $11.3 million / $76.8 million |
 | 5. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked $9.5 million / $111.6 million |
 | 6. War Horse $8.6 million / $56.8 million |
 | 7. We Bought a Zoo $8.4 million / $56.5 million |
 | 8. The Adventures of Tintin $6.6 million / $61.8 million |
 | 9. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy $5.8 million / $10.4 million |
 | 10. New Year's Eve $3.2 million / $52 million |
Dropped Out: The Darkest Hour
Source: Box Office Mojo
Tell us how you really feel Alex.
Alex, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo wasn't meant to be a giant, blockbuster hit in the theaters. With that said, it's doing alright and it's already made its budget back, and it still has yet to premiere in Germany, and I'm sure a few other places. Glad to see it's been highly regarded. I look forward to the following two films.
i didn't see the Devil Inside. I promise. STOP YELLING AT ME!
I always love reading Alex articles. How about this, Alex? I promise you if I see someone in my lifeuntil the day I die who has actually paid to see The Devil Inside in cinemas, I'll punch them in the gut. I have a feeling I won't, since I don't hang around with such cultural Neanderthals.
New Year's Eve: "Guys? It's almost mid-January. Fucking stop it." Haha!
The problem with War Horse is that it couldn't talk or dance. How're you gonna sell Happy Meals with that?
The Devil Inside set off so many BS alarms I never had Any intention of seeing it, there have been way to many of those types of movies way to fast and I disliked all of them except The Rite which isn't exactly found footage or very good but I don't know something about it worked for me but The Devil Inside struck me as trash 10secs into the trailer.
I also didn't see The Devil Inside but that's because I'm not a huge fan of horror movies. It also looked supremely idiotic as well.
While the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo isn't the box office phenomenon that they hoped, I'm relatively impressed it's hanging on in the top five several weeks in. Hopefully it has a long tail.
This is beautiful, man, I shall hate by your side whenever you ask!
This was fucking great.
Wait, there's a Maxim article about boobs? What am I doing here?
Jesus Christ Alex - this is poetry:
"In case you're wondering why it is we as a society can't have nice things, it's because we're a bunch of ingrate fuckers who routinely let genuinely interesting/scary/awesome horror films likeI Saw the Devil, Black Death, Let Me In, and Fright Night get cudgeled by the blunt cock of failure while soul-searing pieces of shit like this are allowed to succeed all willy-fucking-nilly."
You're right though. I keep thinking about this whenever people mention that "Occupy Wall Street" movement, or in any way mention the disparity between classes in our society these days. I mean, for fuck's sake....most people are stupid. And stupid people do not deserve much. And even when I ignore most of society, and just focus mostly on entertainment, you can still see that that's PAINFULLY obvious. The kind of shit-for-brains that would willingly go see Alvin & the Chipmunks deserve to be poor. We can't move forward as a society when we're dragged down by so many stupid, stupid fucks. It's depressing.
And that's my little rant about that ;)
I'm stunned and extremely disappointed. Do people not listen to critics anymore? I've seen what you guys do at Screened and Giant Bomb and it looks like the thing I want to do most in the entire world. Is the relevance of the film critic fading? If so, why? What went wrong? Is it just that Roger Ebert was able to dominate the public attention so completely that any other film critic is to be ignored, despite him printing reviews most folks would generally disagree with? Is it because critics panned Twilight?
I feel like I completely missed some shift before now. I have no idea how anybody fooled themselves into seeing this movie. It's not just you, either, who hated it; I don't think I've ever actually seen a film received more negatively. This movie's success reflects poorly on the American filmgoer. Not those at Screened; I know full well that the users of Whiskey Media know better than to support garbage, especially during Oscar season.
To all the families and parents who took their kids to see Chipwreaked instead of The Muppets, which judging by Chipwreaked's box office compared to Muppets is a LOT of you: DAMN YOU TO HELL!
@vinsanityv22 said:
I wouldn't write off the whole of society just because a very low budget film did relatively well during January, the lowest ebb of the movie going calendar. Plus how do we know rich people didn't go to see this, they have more money to burn afterall.
I didn't even know what The Devil Inside was until I saw Rorie's Zero star review. It's not like the movie has commercials all over the place, like Red Tails, The Grey, and Man on a Ledge. Those movies look pretty interesting at least.
People like dumb horror movies. Paramount took a small gamble on TDI and it paid off big time. Look for other studios to try and replicate this. More crap on the way.
@Flap_jackson: yeah but the muppets are communist... and alvin is clearly a music entrepreneur...
Anyways saw MI4 this weekend on IMAX. This movie will become a classic action flick and will be added to my blu ray.
Tim Tebow!!!