The Top Five Speed Boosts

Some movie vehicles are fast. Sometimes they need to go faster. Getting there soon is not the same as getting there now. Presented here are the Top Five Speed Boosts in film and television. A speed boost is an increase in speed over a vehicle's conventional means of propulsion. These boosts typically entail an element of  risk. There has to be a price to pay for turning a vehicle's top speed to 11. Usually, the danger is violent explosion, but other risks exist. These speed boosts run the gamut of vehicle types from train to car to spaceship, and each has their own quirks.   

Speed boosts are inventions of convenience.  There are certain rules that apply to each. Each meets a necessity. They all carry inherent problems in usage. However, for someone watching, it makes the required getting from there to here more interesting. No matter how long the road. Did I just type that?
 

5. The Faster Than Light Drive

Most space vehicles with conventional engines can travel around a planetary system with ease, but interstellar journeys pose more of a problem. The tremendous distances involved require a different form propulsion to voyage between stars. Even light takes eons to get from one side of the galaxy to the other. With a faster than light drive, a spaceship can cover the distance in hours or days instead of decades.  

The hitch is space travel is methodical. There is a narrow envelope in which to travel safely. At speeds exceeding light, this envelope is closed further. Han Solo put it best when cautioning Luke Skywalker: "If we didn't have the right calculations, we'd fly right into a star or bounce too close to a supernova." Additionally, the energy involved in an engine that goes faster than light is prone to unwanted explosions.

In Star Trek, it is the warp drive. In Star Wars, it is the hyperdrive. In Battlestar Galactica, it is the jump drive. They all serve the same purpose: convenience. Even though this form of propulsion requires the highest amount of theoretical energy, it is only number five. Faster That Light travel is primarily used for story purposes and is at best a conceit and at worst a gimmick. Plus, with "inertial dampeners," the visual impact of accelerating past the physical limit for matter is muted.

4. Doc Brown's Make Train Go Faster Logs  

These three logs, green, yellow, and red, are actually called Presto Combustant Logs. They are a compressed composite of chemicals that burn hotter than a wooden log. In Back to the Future Part III, when trapped in 1885, Dr. Emmett Brown makes these logs to increase the temperature of a train's boiler and thus its speed. He needs a train to push a disabled, time traveling DeLorean up to 88 miles per hour to puncture the Space-Time Continuum. He accomplishes this feat with these logs. The green log burns at 1,400 degrees Fahrenheit and accelerates the train to 35 miles per hour. The yellow burns at 2,000 degrees, and the train goes 70 miles per hour. The red log burns at 2,500 degrees, and the train goes the required 88 miles per hour. The transition between these logs is sudden and violent, providing a boost of speed in a sincere sense of the word.

The risk with the logs is explosion. Doc Brown warns that 2,500 degrees is the melting point of steel. A fire this hot could melt the boiler box and cause  the train to detonate. In fact, the train actually does detonate slightly after accelerating the DeLorean to 88 miles per hour and before falling into a gorge.

While Doc Brown's logs are not the fastest speed boost at 88 miles per hour, they are the most colorful. They send up brightly colored exhaust from a train's smokestack. Choo-choo.

3. Rockets 

Rockets are an old standby in making objects go fast.  They are an integral part of Human history and our fascination with speed. Historians trace the origins of the rocket to 9th Century China. In movies, they find use dating back to the Silent Film era.  A common rocket propellant is Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas. If you are wondering why Nitrous Oxide is not on this list. It is. Right here. Under rockets.

The danger with rockets lays in the fact that they are controlled explosions. A violent combustion reaction is channeled through a nozzle. Ask Wile E. Coyote. He knows the risk involved with rocketry. A good illustration of this hazard comes from the animated feature Toy Story. Buzz Lightyear has a rocket strapped to his back. Buzz, Woody, and R/C the Remote Controlled car attempt to reach a moving truck before it is too late. When R/C's batteries run down, Woody lights the rocket. He summarizes the perils of rocketry by stating, "I just lit a rocket. Rockets explode!"

Rockets can be strapped to any vehicle. Even Pee-wee Herman has rockets on the back of his bicycle capable of jumping over fences and onto roofs. When ignited, rockets give a one-time acceleration for a brief duration. The force of this acceleration is enough to push passengers back in their seats, heightening the thrill and visual impact.

2. Gravity 

The concept of a gravity slingshot is that a vehicle accelerates by borrowing the mass of a celestial object to whip it onto a vector with an increased velocity. This speed boost works on the concept of radial acceleration or Centripetal Force. In Apollo 13, NASA uses gravity to speed the wayward lunar expedition safely back to Earth. In Farscape, a gravity slingshot creates a wormhole. In Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home, Admiral Kirk and his crew use a gravity slingshot around the Sun to travel back to the year 1986. The crew has experience with gravity-based time travel due to sojourns to 1968 and 1969 on two distinct occasions during Star Trek: The Original Series.

The risk with gravity is that a gravity slingshot must be calculated precisely. As with Faster Than Light travel, getting the math wrong can result in burning up or crashing into a star, an atmosphere, or a large chunk of space rock.

Gravity is the most lingering and expositional speed boost. It takes a long time to establish the rules of a gravity slingshot, and actually performing the maneuver requires dozens of thousands of miles. When it does succeed, we need to take a character's word.  This duration can create tension that makes the pay-off all the more amazing.

1. "Speed Holes. They Make the Car Go Faster." 

In the 15th episode of the 6th season of The Simpsons, Homer Simpson parades around dressed as gruff children's performer Krusty the Clown. Unknown to Homer, the Springfield Mob has a hit out on Krusty. At an auto dealership, Homer tries to get a free car by claiming to be Krusty. The mob takes shots at Homer-cum-Krusty but miss. They hit an expensive vehicle on the hood multiple times. The car salesman claims that these impacts are speed holes and that they make the car speedier. Homer buys this explanation and is later seen puncturing the hood of his car with a pickaxe.

The risk with Speed Holes is they involve mafia gunfire. During both instances of speed hole creation, a mob hit man fired no less than three shots. Speed holes carry the highest risk to yourself and those around you. It is recommended that people around you carry a thick Bible in their chest pocket and an extra large piece of the True Cross on a necklace during Speed Hole generation.

The efficacy of speed holes is never proven on The Simpsons. Do they work? Probably not. Not owning a car, I cannot test the concept. Anyone who owns a car and wants to hurt the resale value should feel free to try. All it takes is an investment in a pickaxe.