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The Top Six Non-Harry Potter Wizards

Hogwarts isn't the only source for cinematic wizardry. Let's take a look at a half-dozen other memorable film magicians, shall we?

Do not take him for some conjurer of cheap tricks. Oh no.
Do not take him for some conjurer of cheap tricks. Oh no.

Deathly Hallows Part II brings ten years of magic on screen to a close this weekend, but we all know that wizardy isn't solely in the domain of Hogwarts Academy. From Gandalf to Mumm-Ra, there are enough mages and warlocks in the collective cinematic consciousness to fill out the arcana of a whole deck of Tarot cards. Some practice black magic, others the white variety, but no two take the same approach to prestidigitation, so I figure it's worthwhile to fix our all-seeing third eye on a few of the most notable ones.

6. Prof. Marvel from the Wizard of Oz

"Do not arouse the wrath of the great and powerful."
"Do not arouse the wrath of the great and powerful."

Well, obviously.

We know that a wizard’s power comes from him knowing many things that the average human can’t fathom; but you’ve also got to figure that some of his esteem comes from him spouting off a bunch of nonsense said normals only accept because they don’t know any better. Take away Gandalf’s staff or Dumbledore’s wand and they’ll be just as big charlatans as this famous fraud. Indeed, he may not have any supernatural power, but there certainly is a magic in being able to convince a bunch of characters that you’re giving them special prizes (a heart, a diploma, etc.) that are actually useless trinkets.

5. Imhotep from the Mummy

"Excuse me... I dislike being touched."
"Excuse me... I dislike being touched."

Perhaps we’ve been bemused by however many years of groaning, shuffling cartoons wrapped in clean, white toilet paper, but I’d argue that the Mummy might actually be the most intriguing out of all the classic Universal monsters. Dracula goes where his thirst takes him and Frankenstein stumbles around without much direction, but Imhotep has the patience to make death a resting place to see an unholy plan through over the course of centuries. However you feel about that remake with Brendan Fraser, you can’t deny that Karloff gave this unholy priest an absolutely petrifying gaze.

4. Willy Wonka

"Well, of course they&squot;re real people."
"Well, of course they're real people."

Yeah yeah, I know what you’re thinking. I refuse to believe that this candy man can do all the wonderful things he does without the aid of some supernatural hoodoo. You see a chocolate factory, I see the confectionery equivalent of Dr. Strange's Sanctum Sanctorum.

3. Shang Tsung from Mortal Kombat

"Your soul is mine!"
"Your soul is mine!"

There are a lot of indignities a sorcerer can inflict upon his foes. He could trap you in a painting or turn you into living stone, but those fates seem positively pleasant in comparison to him eating you soul and taking your identity, don’t they? Differentiating between this guy and his video game equivalent with all the deadly alliances, I'll say that movie Tsung has such a serpentine quality about him, even at the times he isn't casting spells. Of course, for all his wickedness, you’ve got to respect Mr. Tsung for having such a charitable social conscience. What other wizard on this list - - evil or otherwise - - has such a vocal commitment to positive messages about violence and to “kombating” MS?

2. Skeletor from Masters of the Universe

"Now... you... will... KNEEL! KNEEL!!!"
"Now... you... will... KNEEL! KNEEL!!!"

YES! THE POWER! I have already crowed about how awe-inspiring a sight it is to see a totally unleashed Frank Langella is in my write-up of action figure movies of the 80s, but it all warrants repeating. I want to stress that it’s only the movie Skeletor who’s making this list, not the jacked-up, squeaky-voiced clown from the original cartoons. A friend of mine put it quite well that this is how Dr. Doom should be portrayed on screen and I have to agree that this big-voiced conqueror makes most other super villains seem about as frightening as your mean old office manager by comparison.

1. Akiro from Conan the Barbarian

"Can&squot;t you just wizard it open?"
"Can't you just wizard it open?"

All said, King Conan’s chronicler is probably the most realistic vision of a wizard on this list. If there is, indeed, a factual basis for all these magic men of fiction, it likely lies in the frazzled shamans who once lived on village outskirts because they were two damn twitchy to live with normal people. Mako gave this hermit a kind of grumbling that conveyed a depth of arcane knowledge while also making that knowledge seem like some mumbo jumbo you’d quickly tire of actually hearing out. It’s realer because it’s less sexy.

Who's your favorite cinematic wizard?

CheapPoisonon July 18, 2011 at 1:33 p.m.
Cool list.
 
 
Never expected Willy  Wonka though!
mbkishon July 18, 2011 at 1:38 p.m.

Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China is probably my favorite wizard. That or Tim from The Holy Grail.

Flap_jacksonon July 18, 2011 at 1:41 p.m.
No, the answer is clearly Willy Wonka. He's a Wizard of CHOCOLATE!
Josef_Nastraon July 18, 2011 at 1:45 p.m.
I agree on Akiro completely. I just love that character from one of my favorite 80's fantasy films. Other wizards of cinema that comes to mind is Willow from the movie with the same name and Yoda from the Star Wars films. Although not exactly a "wizard" he's pretty close.
Stonyman65on July 18, 2011 at 1:49 p.m.

Where's Merlin from Excalibur?

Also, fucking Lo Pan

/thread.

GhostNPCon July 18, 2011 at 1:55 p.m.
@mbk337 said:

That or Tim from The Holy Grail.

Also my favourite.
ryanwhoon July 18, 2011 at 2:10 p.m.
Jafar man. Cmon now. Your list is incomplete and that means we're enemies for life. For life.
TearsInRainon July 18, 2011 at 2:26 p.m.
I love Akiro.
Whiskeyjackon July 18, 2011 at 2:32 p.m.

I expect "Top X" lists from other websites. I expect better from Whiskey Media.

csl316on July 18, 2011 at 2:36 p.m.

Rita Repulsa was a witch, right?

ApuZon July 18, 2011 at 2:39 p.m.

@Whiskeyjack: That's Giantbomb's view of the matter, more like Jeff's view. That doesn't mean every Whiskey site won't have these kinds of articles. At least it isn't like cracked where top six wizards is on 3 different pages.

Also, wtf no Gandalf?

Tarsieron July 18, 2011 at 2:40 p.m.
why wasnt gandalf on here? wtf
Zero_Tactilityon July 18, 2011 at 3:35 p.m.

Yes, Akiro! Mako is fantastic in pretty much any role, but his in-character intro to Conan the Barbarian is so good. I could listen to his voice all day.

SSullyon July 18, 2011 at 3:36 p.m.

You are such a tease. You can't have Gandalf as the main image and not have him on the list.

Korneon July 18, 2011 at 3:53 p.m.
Tom missed a small one (Pun Intended)...  
EmpGonzoon July 18, 2011 at 4:29 p.m.
Behold the Power of Mako! 
 
also just because.... 
vinsanityv22on July 18, 2011 at 6:01 p.m.
No Charlie Sheen jokes? Not even an honorary mention? I mean, he claimed to be a Vatican Assassin Wizard...I think that's cause to nominate his character from Hot Shots :)
 
Cool list though. Willy Wonka is most definitely a wizard.
Zolfeon July 18, 2011 at 6:05 p.m.
Willy Wonka is a wizard, but that boat scene is FUCKED up
No_name_here staff on July 18, 2011 at 6:39 p.m.

@vinsanityv22 said:

No Charlie Sheen jokes? Not even an honorary mention? I mean, he claimed to be a Vatican Assassin Wizard..

Dude... that's so last February.

oberon1020on July 18, 2011 at 6:55 p.m.

@mbk337 said:

Lo Pan from Big Trouble in Little China is probably my favorite wizard. That or Tim from The Holy Grail.

I second this

Dig Deeper into Conan the Barbarian

Conan the Barbarian as a boy has his village burned, and mother and father killed at the hands of Thulsa Doom. Conan is sold into slavery, fights his way through gladiatorial arenas and meets a group of thieves who help him on his quest for vengeance.

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