It's hard for a film to make it into the top ranks of the box office, but it's arguably even harder to make it into the bottom. It takes an almost unthinkable amount of effort to make something so utterly dismissable, that despite somehow convincing a theater to show your piece of shit movie, you actually manage to draw no audience whatsoever to it. One film last weekend apparently did just that, and in the process, earned the least amount of money any film has ever opened with (on record) in North America.
According to Movieline (where that delightful header image also came from), that film is called The Worst Movie EVER! and it managed an absolutely astonishingly mere $11 from its pair of midnight screenings in Los Angeles over the weekend. Doing the math, Movieline figures that means exactly one person--one, as in singular--went to see it. Should these numbers turn out to be correct--and Box Office Mojo, which posted the numbers, tends to be rather anal about the accuracy of these sorts of things--it officially defeats the bewilderingly titled Zyzzyx Road for the title. That film, which starred Tom Sizemore and a pre-anyone caring about her Katherine Heigl, grossed a once-notorious $20. Now it doesn't even get to have that notoriety, which is really sad, if you think about it.
As for this film? Here's the description from an interview with the film's writer, director, and star, Glenn Berggoetz:
The Worst Movie EVER! is a little bit harder to summarize. … Boltar the robot alien is sent down to Earth to destroy. He decides to wreak havoc on a particular neighborhood. In this neighborhood are two angry teenagers (played by two actors with a combined age of 108 years at the time of the shoot); one of the teen’s mentally challenged identical twin brother; a 14-year old cougar and her 10-year old boyfriend, who has gotten her pregnant; a cleavage-wielding soul-taker who is determined to steal the soul of the mentally challenged teen; and two geeky scientists who try to turn macho and kill Boltar to save the day.Yes, the plot is a complete mess, which is part of the point of the film being awful. Maybe the tagline will help: “It may be the worst movie ever, but it’s the best sci-fi/action/drama/horror/musical you’ve ever seen.”
Well that sounds just delightful, and if you're feeling particularly charitable, you can apparently go see delightful little sci-fi/action/drama/horror/musical/shitshow at the Alamo Drafthouse in Winchester, VA next Wednesday, and then presumably nowhere until it eventually shambles its way onto Netflix and other streaming services.
Just as an added "bonus," enjoy (read: endure) the trailer for the film below. It's...it's something else.