Can you believe that shit? Like Jennifer Lopez would actually walk down the street without a team of Blackwater PMC escorts ready to mow down anyone who dared step in front of her path and sully the ground that she was about to walk on. I heard that Jennifer Lopez once murdered a nun on the steps of a church. Allegedly. Also, when her favorite candidates on American Idol get voted off, she enacts her displeasure by having them boiled alive. Twice. Also allegedly.
Anyway, there's more American Idol on tonight. Ratings have actually been going down somewhat lately, but that doesn't mean that there aren't still a good 20 million people who are going to be talking about this stuff tomorrow. Enjoy your day at the water cooler without having to suffer their inane banter. Tomorrow it'll all go downhill.
|American Idol: The Search for a Superstar|
FOX 8 PM: SEASON PREMIERE! It lives...again.
BRAVO 10 PM: "The chefs must create a meal that embodies evil; Charlize Theron is a guest judge." That episode description would be a lot funnier if I didn't point out that this was a tie-in to Snow White And The Huntsman, which is a Universal movie, and Bravo is of course owned by NBCUniversal, so yeah.
ABC 9 PM: "Claire prepares for her debate with Duane Bailey; Mitch and Cam try to clean up Lily's language before her turn as a flower girl; Jay blames Stella's strange behavior on Gloria." Another all-new night for ABC, with the sure-to-offend-the-Parent's-Television-Council plotline of a baby saying the F-word. Preceded by The Middle and Suburgatory, followed by Happy Endings and Revenge, all with new episodes.
CBS 9 PM: "A series of murders makes the team wonder if a notorious killer has returned; Reid wonders if he could be doing more with his abilities." Reid's only known ability is offending Amish people, but he doesn't live in Pennsylvania. So he could do more with his ability by living in Pennsylvania. Followed by a new CSI at 10.
NBC 8 PM: NBC strikes back with new episodes of Whitney and Are You There, Chelsea? at 8:30. Does that title even make any sense? Originally it was a play on Judy Blume's book called Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea, but now it's just a barely-comprehensible question asked by...whom? I don't get it. Followed by a new episode of Harry's Law at 9.
|Law & Order: Special Victims Unit|
NBC 10 PM: "When the detectives investigate the sexual assault of the executive of a private military-contract company, they discover a larger conspiracy in Iraq." Hey, guess what? Rape.