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What to Watch This Weekend: A Veritable Smorgasbord of Quality Television Programming

I'm not being sarcastic. There are actually a lot of potentially neat things to watch this weekend.

Why yes, that is supposed to be Julian Assange.
Why yes, that is supposed to be Julian Assange.

This is a surprisingly loaded weekend for television. In addition to many of the usual old reliables, a few shows we typically shun have episodes of note, and there are even a few random x-factors popping up, ensuring that you'll have to program your TiVo carefully so as not to miss anything.

Don't believe me? Prepare...to be dazzled!

The 43rd Annual NAACP Image Awards

Friday at 8PM - NBC - Okay, so maybe I'm trolling slightly with this one, but I couldn't resist mentioning that George Lucas--George "Jar Jar Binks" Lucas--is getting the NAACP's Vanguard Award tonight. For...what? Making a movie about black people? If that were all it took, Tyler Perry would get it every goddamn year.

Fringe

Friday at 9PM - FOX - Not gonna lie, this episode, in which "a person with a mental disorder might be linked to a series of murders" sounds pretty boilerplate, as Fringe episodes go. Still, it's not like there's anything truly better to watch on a Friday night, is there?

Portlandia

Friday at 10PM - IFC - Joanna Newsom guest stars as a musician suddenly burdened with the logistics of fitting a harp into hybrid sedan. Yeah, I'll watch that.

2012: Ice Age

Saturday at 9PM - Syfy - My god, it's like two different Roland Emmerich movies had inbred sex with another, and suddenly this unholy, half-retarded shame child emerged. I love it.

The Amazing Race

Sunday at 8PM - CBS - The 20th season begins! Are Norm and Will on this season? No? Then I still don't care about this show.

The Simpsons

Sunday at 8PM - FOX - The 500th episode spectacular! Yes, 500 damn episodes of The Simpsons exist, and to celebrate that incredible milestone, the writers have banished the family to an "off-the-grid existence" in a no-man's wasteland. And they also got Julian Assange to guest-star. Wait, what?

Family Guy

Sunday at 9PM - FOX - Ricky Gervais voices a talking dolphin who befriends the Griffin family. I can't tell you how long I've waited to type out that sentence. Oh, wait, yes I can. 30 years. 30 years is how long I've waited.

The Walking Dead

Sunday at 9PM - AMC - After last week's banger of a mid-season return, we can expect a perhaps slightly more muted episode this week. Still, sounds like Rick, Glen, and Herschel will be fighting off both human and zombie enemies in town, while Shane will be going after Lori. Yes, let Shane deal with Lori, and let Rick murder some motherfuckers. I'm fine with this.

Downton Abbey

Sunday at 9PM - PBS - Okay, so I've effectively ignored this show up until now, and I feel a bit like a complete asshole, because what few bits I've seen now seem kind of great. I think it's partially because of my absurd love of Maggie Smith, but here, yes, Downton Abbey, totally. Sunday is the second season finale. Please to be giving me more.

Celebrity Apprentice

Sunday at 9PM - NBC - A new season, in which such amazing celebrities as Arsenio Hall, Clay Aiken, Deborah Gibson, and Penn Jillette. None of these are as crazy/great/crazygreat as Gary Busey, but hey, Arsenio!

Luck

Sunday at 9PM - HBO - At some point this show is going to make some goddamn sense. It has to, right?

Eastbound & Down

Sunday at 10PM - HBO - The third season opens with Kenny stuck in the dregs of minor league baseball hell in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Say what you will about Danny McBride, but Kenny Powers rarely fails to make me laugh. I am excited.

Life's Too Short

Sunday at 10:30PM - HBO - Series premiere. I'm still not completely able to understand the precise premise of this show, but I also don't care. Gervais and Merchant together in anything guarantees I will watch, and the stuff I've seen with Warwick Davis has been brilliant. Can't wait.

A Tribute to Bernie Mac

Sunday at 10PM - Comedy Central - I'm not entirely sure why now, four years after his death, Comedy Central has suddenly assembled a tribute to the great comedian, but hey, considering this includes a bunch of his early stand-up stuff, I'm not complaining.

Pan Am

Sunday at 10PM - ABC - The season finale, which depending on how generous ABC is feeling this summer, could be the series finale. I was on board with this show for a bit, but fell off as it started getting weirder and weirder. Anyone stick with it for the full run? How'd you end up feeling about it?

CrimsonAvengeron Feb. 17, 2012 at 10:20 a.m.

Yay Celebrity Apprentice! And why is there a tribute to Bernie Mac all of a sudden? One would think making a tribute to him would be something to do not long after he died, not four years later. 2012 Ice Age sounds terrible and The Simpsons having 500 episodes is just something that should not have happened because that show has really overextended its welcome. George Lucas being at the NAACP Awards is something I wouldn't have expected considering how Red Tails was a critical and commercial failure.

Pan Am didn't get cancelled? Are you sure about that?

RockinKemosabe is online on Feb. 17, 2012 at 10:27 a.m.

Yay, I get to watch Walking Dead on my birthday!

teh_destroyeron Feb. 17, 2012 at 11:09 a.m.

It looks like a busy Sunday going on.

MiniPatoon Feb. 17, 2012 at 11:16 a.m.

Wow, I thought Pan Am ended/got canceled ages ago. I never see any commercials for it.

Walking Dead pretty much the only thing I'll be watching this weekend.

meaninoflife42on Feb. 17, 2012 at 11:40 a.m.

I'm surprised that Pan Am is still a thing. It just sort of disappeared.

CharAznableon Feb. 17, 2012 at 11:43 a.m.

Portlandia and Walking Dead for me. That, and watching Commando that I DVRed the other night.

Bigheart711on Feb. 17, 2012 at 1:03 p.m.

A lot of good shit is going out this weekend, especially Walking Dead and Celebrity Apprentace. I'll also get to see the Bernie Mac tribute. I enjoyed his comedy, especially in "Bad Santa".

Milkmanon Feb. 17, 2012 at 1:30 p.m.
Bernie Mac died four years ago?! Holy shit, it feels like it's only been a couple years at the most. 
carlfoster91on Feb. 17, 2012 at 1:58 p.m.

So Once Upon A Time an Worst Cooks in AMerica from me. I DON'T NEED YOUR SUGGESTIONS ALEX! I HAVE BETTER TASTES!

Entishon Feb. 17, 2012 at 1:59 p.m.

Life's too short was surprisingly good, I met warrick davis dudes pretty awesome

skrutopon Feb. 17, 2012 at 2:19 p.m.
Portlandia has been really disappointing this season, and I'm going to miss Todd Margaret now that it's over.
briangodsoeon Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:28 p.m.

You forgot George Takei in Celebrity Apprentice. I'll probably still lose interest after 10 minutes or so.

yojjeon Feb. 17, 2012 at 3:32 p.m.
Kenny FUCKING Powers is back, loving it!
freakin9on Feb. 17, 2012 at 7:15 p.m.

I'm trying to get into Luck. It kinda feels like the show is trying to teach the viewers about horse racing in these first few episodes so they can go about the rest of the episodes confident that they aren't going over people's heads... but fuck is it tough to sit through. I keep going, ok is this guy going to get whacked? Oh oh, are they going to intimidate that guy? But they are playing the horse racing almost completely straight, I'm getting blue balls from it.

Alex_Carrilloon Feb. 17, 2012 at 9:34 p.m.

As a non-White person I hate every character in Downton Abbey.

Linkster7on Feb. 18, 2012 at 7:06 a.m.

What about Supernatural! I'm watching that at least, also Portlandia, Fringe, Walking Dead and, why the hell not, Simpsons.

PlyrYaKAon Feb. 18, 2012 at 10:53 a.m.

Got into Downtown Abbey late but absolutely loved it. Thing is the Christmas episode really is what finished season 2 in the U.K, will you have to wait or get it for easter of something?

sofacitysweethearton Feb. 18, 2012 at 11:15 a.m.

I saw "Quality Programming" and a screen shot of a new Simpsons episode and became confused.

Klarion18on Feb. 19, 2012 at 4:29 a.m.

Is it just me or is it crazy that the Simpsons is older then some people who visit this site?? (I'm assuming)

teekomeekoon Feb. 19, 2012 at 6:54 a.m.

How weird, I was just looking at a BUNCH of Bernie Mac stuff on YouTube this past week and remembered that the dude was incredible. I'll have to plug in my satellite box and watch that tribute (that's not being hipster-y, my room's box is literally on floor beside my table not plugged in since I watch everything I like on official websites).

Teaser Trailer: Skyfall

Hoping anticipation's not the best part.

Trailer: The Master

I'm mean ya, it's gonna be great.

BOX OFFICE: You sunk my Battleship....

Thanks a lot Avengers.

Trailer: The Great Gatsby

I want to go to there...

G.I. Joe Retaliation: Release date moved so it is not a summer movie anymore.

Why? So it can be converted to 3D. Smart move or suspicious?

What to Watch: Monday

House...series finale...enough said.

Red Band Trailer: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

Not another ridiculous vampire story. Please don't force me to click play... wait, what? This actually looks cool.

3D...will it ever go away?

I mean, can we all just admit it sucks already?

G.I. Joe Retaliation: Release date moved so it is not a summer movie anymore.

Why? So it can be converted to 3D. Smart move or suspicious?

3D...will it ever go away?

I mean, can we all just admit it sucks already?

Trailer: The Master

I'm mean ya, it's gonna be great.

BOX OFFICE: You sunk my Battleship....

Thanks a lot Avengers.

Teaser Trailer: Skyfall

Hoping anticipation's not the best part.

What to Watch: Tuesday

Summer slump is here...grab some discs and start a marathon instead.

What to Watch: Wednesday

The Wire and the finale of Modern Family...very different, but great in their own ways.

DVD/Blu-Ray: May 22nd

So many choices, so little time...what to do?

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