Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy. It's the end of the summer, and you know what that means, right? Yep! A dumping ground for kinda not-so-great movies that studios couldn't find another spot for, and endless reruns leading up to the fall TV season. Well, it ain't all bad. There's a couple of decent flicks and some solid Sunday TV, if nothing else. Check out the video for the full slate, or just look below for the movies hitting theaters this weekend.
New Releases: 08/20
 | Vampires Suck Rating: PG-13
Release: Wide
Hey! We totally reviewed this! No! You should not go see it!
|
 | Piranha 3-D Rating: R
Release: Wide
Full review and a Quick and Dirty coming a bit later today, but this one seems like it's probably the highlight of the weekend...such as it is. I'll give the movie this: It promises copious amounts of naked boobs and blood galore, and it delivers on both. Shame the 3D isn't better, but if you like campy horror, and don't mind it being a little overly knowing about it, this ain't a half bad watch.
|
 | The Switch Rating: PG-13
Release: Wide
This movie has evidently been sitting around in release-date hell for a while now, but praise some kind of lord, because now we can experience Jennifer Aniston getting turkey baster pregnant. Again, review and Q&D later today, but Rorie saw it and said it was forgettably charming...so there's that.
|
 | Nanny McPhee Returns Rating: PG
Release: Wide
Hey! Remember Nanny McPhee? Me either. I know I saw the first movie on a plane, but I'll be good goddamned if I can remember a single thing about it, beyond all the ugly makeup they put on Emma Thompson. Not gonna lie, I have no idea when we'll get around to reviewing this. Is anyone around here going to have a conniption fit about that?
|
 | Lottery Ticket Rating: PG-13
Release: Wide
Oh, right, Bow Wow has an acting career. I keep forgetting about that. Also, when did Ice Cube go from starring in movies alongside John Witherspoon to straight up BEING John Witherspoon? I don't get how he is doing old man roles now. He was in NWA. He's not supposed to get old.
|
 | Mao's Last Dancer Rating: PG
Release: Limited
Based on the autobiography of a Chinese national ballet dancer who defected to the US (for the love of a woman, of course), this true-story-drama has Bruce Greenwood, Joan Chen, and Kyle MacLachlan in it. Most of the reviews aren't super great, but hey, Rex Reed called it "a masterpiece." So...there's that...
|
 | The Tillman Story Rating: R
Release: Limited
The highly controversial documentary about the US government's attempt to purportedly cover-up the true nature of pro-football-player-turned-soldier Pat Tillman's death in the Afghan war. Critics are loving it, but who the hell knows when/if it might open wide enough for any of us to see it. Seems like something I'll probably end up watching on Netflix Instant.
|
