|This is most definitely not the "Aliens" of the Predator series||1 out of 1 user found this review helpful.|
I've rarely seen such a half-assed sequel as this movie. It's like the Alien 3 of the Predator series.
Adrian Brody was a poor man's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sure he had a deep voice, but I didn't buy him as the lead action star. He's Adrian Brody. Adrian Brody stepping into Schwarzenegger's shoes. That is a no-win scenario. The Predators strap all of them to alien parachutes. WTF? Why would Predators have parachutes? You'd think they'd have evolved with different technology. Why not drop them in tractor beams, or alien reentry pods of some sort? Yet these parachutes looked almost exactly like earthly parachutes. It made no sense.
Then you've got the Predators using alien hunting dogs. Why would Predators need hunting dogs? These are the deadliest hunters in the galaxy, they don't need stupid dogs with tusks. Where's the fun in hunting game when you just send a bunch of savage beasts to kill for you? Aren't they missing out on the thrill of the hunt? Just because we here on earth sometimes use hunting dogs when we hunt doesn't mean that Predators need to also conform to this behavior. Was the idea of Predators hunting too boring, so they felt they needed to add in CGI dogs? I don't understand this at all. In the original Predator, one of my favorite movies, one lone predator divides and weakens up a group of special forces soldiers by HIMSELF. In this new watered down iteration, we've got three Super Predators relying on their dogs to divide and weaken up a group, some of whom are just defenseless, almost weaponless guys. No teamwork either, unlike Dutch's squad. Three friggin Predators, and they need dogs to help them against this rag tag group. It's just sad.
Laurence Fishburne's been living on this alien planet for years, hiding from the Predators. He's apparently gotten very successful and amassed a pile of Predator gear. Yet in this movie he goes crazy and ends up getting killed easily by a Predator, almost like a red shirt. How does this make any sense? Plus, why is he still so fat? You'd think living off the land of an alien world and fending for your life on a daily basis would fuck up your diet.
If the Predators are searching for the deadliest warriors on Earth to hunt, why would they pick a prison inmate and a serial killer? This is a huge step down from the trained Special Forces soldiers of the first movie, right? The prisoner is dropped down and doesn't even have any weapon, as far as I remember. Plus, wasn't he being held in a maximum security prison? You're gonna tell me that the Predators in their doofy looking predator ship are just going to hover over a prison and extract this one guy? And nobody's going to notice? In the past, the Yautja have always been careful to conceal their presence, at least as far as exposing their ship and alien origins. They use cloaking devices and try to stay below the radar of human civilization. Why are they now willing to expose their presence by bashing in maximum security prisons?
Topher Grace probably killed a bunch of unsuspecting suburban moms, so how does that make him worthy of taking on some invisible aliens with shoulder cannons? For god's sake, he has a tiny pocket knife. How is Topher Grace with a scalpel going to fight a bunch of Predators? The very notion is ridiculous.
One final objection I had with the film: The jungle. In the original Predator, that hot, steamy Colombian jungle was a character in its own right. You could feel the sweat glistening off of everybody in the film, and the wet leaves getting on your boots and hands and face. It felt like the nastiest, slimiest jungle you'd ever seen. I didn't really get that same feeling from the jungle in Predators. It felt more like a forest then a jungle, and not a particularly threatening one.
Predators International Trailer
The deadliest killers on Earth (and Adrien Brody) get their hands bloody on this cosmic game preserve planet of the damned.
An all-star cast of badasses is plucked from their blood-soaked lives on Earth and tossed straight into an alien game preserve of the damned.
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