Atary77 (Level 13)

Before I begin let me just say I'm only stating my opinions and observations about the popular Twilight series here. I have seen the first three films but I've yet to see the latest one, because I do no intend to watch it nor have I read any of the books and I certainly don't plan to read them anytime soon. But with that being said I'm not gonna act like I know what the books are like. However I have an 11 year old niece that has read them and she says the differences between the books and the films aren't too drastic so my opinions about the movies may or may not apply to them. If I'm wrong I'm sure someone here will be glad to let me know.

Now that I've gotten that out of the way first let me talk about some of the positive aspects about these movies. For starters Taylor Launter is ok to watch. He gives good performances and you actually get some emotional feedback from his character actually believing how he feels and he never acts like he's phoning it in at all. He takes it seriously and he does a good job. Also Billy Burke seems likable as well as the somewhat stern yet comical father figure. Unlike a lot of other characters in these movies his dialog is nice to hear and I enjoy seeing his presence on screen. The special effects used in later films like Eclipse are alright as well. Now I'm not gonna mention much of the crappy CGI with the were wolves in these movies as I have much bigger fish to fry BUT the effects used for the fight scenes near the end of Eclipse are nicely done. The vampires don't look like puppets when moving fast at all and seeing dudes get shattered into little pieces is kinda cool to see.

Now onto the the bone I have to pick with these movies. I'm not gonna talk much about some of the nit picks that various critics have had with this series like the obvious plot holes, bad dialog, dead pan characters ,and bad effect but more so about the one glaring issue that I have with this series. Also before I go on I'd like to state that I have absolutely no problem with Robert Pattonson or Taylor Launter. I already mentioned that Launter's performance is one of the better aspects of these movies. Pattonson is... ok I guess I don't know. He's not terrible not by any means but I never get anything from him that makes me like him more like oh say... Taylor Lautner. Also I should point out I don't have anything against Kirsten Stewart either. Yeah she may seem like something of a ditz in public appearances and the like but I don't have anything against her. She's just an actress and can only do so much with what she has to work with which is what my big problem is with this whole friggen series. It's not her fault the writing sucks ass.

Moving on though, as the title may have hinted at my one big glaring issue with this whole series is none other than the character of Bella Swan. I cannot freaking stand this dead pan selfish girl! She is the epicenter of my distaste for these films. Seriously just about everything that goes wrong in these movies can pretty much be traced back to her selfish needs and wants! But I'm sure you folks didn't read this just to hear my bitching. Let's take an honest look here. See in many movies ,books, or any other story telling medium has some kind of central message or emotion. Here the central message in Twilight is being selfish. As in life sucks unless you get what you want no matter who suffers for it. And Bella is at the very heart of all this. Through the entire series everything that goes wrong is from the massive chain of terrible descisions she makes in just about every film so far!

Now rather than explain every damn thing that happens in these movies let's cut to the highlights of her bad descision making. First film she decides to get involved with someone who seems pretty creepy and later finds out he's a blood sucking monster who wants her cause she's her brand of crack and despite what a normal person would do she decides she wants to be with him despite his own advice telling her she'd be better off not knowing him. He did say himself he's pretty much a killer but Eddy made the mistake of thinking Bella has common sense. Some bad shit happens and now another blood sucker named Victoria wants her dead. Probably could've been averted if she took Eddy's advice at the beginning and stayed away from him. Next film Bella almost gets turned into a human happy meal at a birthday party at the blood sucker house. Eddy decides to leave so she could have a normal life but she's too damn stupid to find another man especially when someone better looking ,better personality ,and better vital signs practically throws himself at her. But rather than see where a relationship goes with him she decides to toy with his emotions and use him so she can see Eddy again and throw herself into harms way to do so. Ladies... can I just ask is any man worth throwing yourself off a freaking cliff for? Or driving a dirt bike into a boulder? Or hopping onto the bike of a potential rapist? Please tell me the answer to all of these are no! Third movie Jacob is now emotionally fucked up no thanks to Bella's selfishness and she further toys with the poor bastard by kissing him like he'd still have a chance with her despite the fact she's in love with a corpse and wants to be one herself.

Plus the whole thing with her wanting to be a vampire so damn bad is just more fuel for her idiocy. The only reason she wants this is so she can be with Eddy forever but Eddy himself as well as members of his family (who all have decades if not centuries of experience on her) all pretty much tell her "Look stupid, being a vampire is a fucking curse. You don't want this and if we were you we'd gladly taking being human over it" But their advice falls on deaf and stupid ears because her selfish drive continues and she's gotta have things her way. Even at the cost of a few bodies that eventually pile up in the third film.

Fast forward to Breaking Dawn part 1. The whole time Eddy didn't wanna have sex with her while she's human is because it'd be pretty dangerous. But Bella McDumbass still wants to fuck while mortal so they go through with it. Then she gets preggers with a potential freak of nature that could very well eat her alive from the inside! Eddy of course tells her she could be sparred a horrible freaking fate by getting it out of her BUT she wants to keep it... WHAT?! Seriously folks can you imagine how fucking horrible it'd be to be eaten alive from inside your own body? I'm gonna assume it's pretty freaking bad! But no her selfish ways take hold once again and she just HAS to keep it. Whatever bitch, it's your Cronenberg-esqe funeral (which honestly that would've been fucking cool if this would've been body horror but the movie pussed out. Dammit.). After some freaky shit later all the were wolves are pissed and now poor Jacob gets to be romantically obsessed with Eddy and Bella's monster infant daughter. Yeah way to go bitch. First you toy with his emotions and now you turn him into a potential pedophile.

With one more movie left I'm almost certain more bad shit is gonna go down because one of the most selfish main characters that I've ever seen in fiction just has to have her way. I mean seriously, people died, a fucking war got started, and treaties were broken. You see my friends this long line of bad descision making is sometimes reffered to as "Carrying the Idiot Ball" and it's why Bella Swan as a character fucking sucks. Still that's just my two cents folks. I'll be so glad when the popularity of this series blows over and maybe people will look back on it in retro spect and think "Holy shit, Bella is fucking selfish."