gelatinabomination (Level 22)

Kurt Russell can do anything. FACT: Chuck Norris jokes were, at first, Kurt Russell jokes, before marketers decided that Chuck would be funnier to the youth of today.

Really, I just want to see what monstrosity of a plan this man would come up with. I'm sure it would have to do with creating telepathic insect men who grew phallic stingers under their arms to eat the oil. Or something like that.

The world just needs more of this man. Really. While you're waiting for the oil to be cleaned up, watch Robocop again. GO. SHOO.

Remember Waterworld? Dude obviously has some experience with the wet stuff. He's an obvious choice.

Working on an oil spill can be extremely taxing. We need a man who can cheer our workers up in an instant. Bill Murray is that man.

The obvious problem with hiring him would be that the solution would probably cost as much as the problem itself. However, if money's not an issue, you know he'd come up with something badical.

When this fiasco is all said and done, we need a good documentary about the oil spill. Ken Burns is your man.

I don't know. He'll probably just yell at BP and give people the finger a lot. But at least we could make fun of him behind his back. That's always good for morale.

He was Robocop AND Buckaroo Banzai. Surely he can help us. I imagine that his plan to cap the oil spill would involve a lot of amazing quotes and action sequences.