Yes, I understand that this report is really, really late. But I have had an extremely busy week and I enjoy writing these anyway so screw anyone who would rather I skipped a week.
Anyway; to further prove that I haven’t got a chance in hell of getting a girlfriend whilst in my teens, the Twilight phenomenon continued to inexplicably roll on last weekend, steamrollering over the entire competition with just under £14 million opening weekend. But good news, fans of movies that don’t suck complete and utter donkey balls! The first final Harry Potter movie made £18 million on opening weekend, the final final Harry Potter movie made £23 million opening weekend and Quantum Of Solace made £15.3 million. Yes, I know Quantum was quite rubbish, but it’s far better than Twilight! So, screaming teenage girls haven’t taken over the world yet! Rejoice!
So, new openers were extremely thin on the ground last weekend. The only big-ish one being the Nic Cage fronted Justice. From 245 screens it made a staggering £276,000. And yes I am being sarcastic. For those of you who believed that this would hurt Nic Cage’s other movie Trespass (which opened 2 weeks back)… you’d be absolutely right! It plummeted 98 frickin’ percent to 29 screens with £5,000. So, I think it is now actually very safe to call it a mega-bomb. Shows what hooking up with Sky for a promotion’ll get ya!
On the Indie front, Snowtown opened on 26 screens and took in a damn good £52,323. Weekend opened on 2 more screens but suffered a 27% drop and £25,574 in money. And something called How To Stop Being A Loser opened on 17 screens and made £2,882 with a per screen average of £170.
So, yeah, not a lot happened last week. Seeing as all other films got scared off by Twilight. There’s a major 56% drop for Immortals, a 62% drop for The Rum Diary and The Ides Of March is somehow still clinging on for dear life. Speaking of which, how on Earth is it doing that? Black magic, surely? It keeps shedding screens and money and averages each week and yet it’s still there at the bottom of the chart! Ain’t that something?
This full list is Stayin’ Alive! … Get it? Cos, vampires are undead and Twilight vampires sparkle like disco balls and… Nothing? Screw you all, then.
|1. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1|
£13,910,877 / NEW
The following is a list of talented people involved in this franchise who I will be talking about (2 per week) over the next however many weeks.
Anybody On The Gorram Soundtracks
I pray to the Maker that I don’t get through them all.
|2. Arthur Christmas|
£2,317,963 / £5,018,421
A 10%... increase?! What madness is this?! Ah, but don’t think this gets you off the hook for 2 weeks back, UK cinema going public! You are now on thin ice after that, you hear me? Thin ice!
|3. The Adventures of Tintin|
£988,578 / £14,095,718
This is still doing really rather well on a week to week basis. Since it’s still in cinemas, I think I may still have a shot at seeing it next weekend. Just as long as nothing big comes out that could take away its screens! … Aw, COME ON!!
£950,230 / £4,309,798
I guess this film’s takings (puts on sunglasses)… are mortal after all. YEEEEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
|5. In Time|
£453,958 / £4,505,207
And now it’s time for Callum Petch’s Uninteresting Fact Of The Week: The song used in the trailer for this film is Destiny by the band Syntax and was also used in Driver 3. That was Callum Petch’s Uninteresting Fact Of The Week.
|6. Tower Heist|
£411,888 / £3,711,355
Are you aware that people have been getting seizures from watching Breaking Dawn Part 1? It’s true! Here’s the link and everything. … This film contains a joke about seizures. That was Callum Petch’s Tedious Link.
£276,483 / NEW
Because I believe this may be my only chance to do so, allow me to not talk about this movie and instead refer you to the much better French electro band Justice. Though to merely pigeonhole them as electro is doing a major disservice to them. Allow me to link you to D.A.N.C.E.; Genesis; Audio, Video, Disco and their remix of We Are Your Friends. You won’t be disappointed!
|8. Johnny English Reborn|
£256,828 / £20,132,828
You mean, it’s going? Really? It’s actually leaving the charts? Oh, thank Christ! I was sick of seeing this on the list week in and week out and having nothing to say about it at all. Literally nothing. Goodbye and good riddance!
|9. The Rum Diary|
£230,740 / £1,202,074
OK… now we can call it a bomb.
|10. The Ides of March|
£180,692 / £2,574,632
And, with that, it’s now finished. Properly finished. There’s no third wind, here. It’s done. There is no way it will possibly hold off Hugo, Happy Feet Too and The Thing. It’s over. Stick a fork in it.
jackanderson’s under the spotlight, neither black or white.