jackanderson (Level 26)

These should probably all just be FedExed to The King's Speech offices.

Warning: The following blog post reveals all of the results for the 2011 BAFTAs.  If you are yet to find out the results and, for some reason, don't want the results spoiled, then leave this blog now.  You hath been warned.

“Here’s how tonight is going to work.   I’ll announce the award category, somebody attractive and famous will come up and introduce the award, we’ll look at the nominees, and then a member of the cast or crew of The King’s Speech will come up and collect the award.” – Jonathon Ross.

Turns out good old Wossy wasn’t far off, after all.   The King’s Speech annihilated everybody, everybody, with a total of 7 award victories.   For comparisons sake, the two more deserving winners of awards (The Social Network and Inception) both walked away with 3 awards each.   Something of note, however, is that two of Inception’s awards (and one of The Social Network’s) came after the actual ceremony finished and they did the quick round up. So two of those awards (Sound and Production Design) apparently mean jack shit.   Nevertheless, here comes the full and clearly opinionated run down.

Turns out this woman is actually pretty damn funny.

Best Film

Winner: The King’s Speech

Were you really expecting anything else?   The King’s Speech is a movie that has been specifically engineered to win awards like this.   Whilst this might be true, it still saddens me that the BAFTA voting committee couldn’t overlook it and give the award to somebody who deserved it more.   Especially when this film also won another single specific film award later on.

Best Actor

Winner: Colin Firth (The King’s Speech)

Look, this is the one award that the film absolutely deserved to win.   But by this point in the evening, The King’s Speech had won so many awards; I found it so hard to care.   I really don’t want to take anything away from the man (Colin Firth really is absolutely sensational in that film), but I greeted the win with large indifference.   Sorry.

Best Actress

Winner: Natalie Portman (Black Swan)

So Natalie Portman was unable to turn up.   But, as Darren Aronofsky appeared to be under hypnosis to inform us, it’s because she’s pregnant and can’t travel!   So if you had money on her reminding us that she’s pregnant, you are owed big time, my wise friend!

Enjoy this face whilst you can, folks! It won't be around for much longer if Rorie has anything to say about it!

Best Director

Winner: David Fincher (The Social Network)

The Social Network’s big consolation prize (Best Adapted Screenplay was all sewn up, anyway), I was also right in my prediction that whoever lost this out of Tom Hooper and David Fincher would go on to win Best Film.   I am God!

Best Supporting Actor

Winner: Geoffrey Rush (The King’s Speech)

Well, this was a bit of a shock.   And I thought that BAFTA would’ve been all about the posthumous award for Pete Postlethwaite, but it seems that dying doesn’t have the same influence nowadays as it used to.   And I suppose we should’ve known that Christian Bale wasn’t going to win when he didn’t show up.   Nevertheless, I’m not taking anything away from Geoffrey Rush.   He was fantastic in The King’s Speech, so it’s nice to see him get some recognition.

Best Supporting Actress

Winner: Helena Bonham Carter (The King’s Speech)

Again, not too fussed about this.   Seeing how criminally underused she was in Harry Potter (and, despite how fantastic she was, how much Alice In Wonderland suuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked), I can safely say that her work in The King’s Speech is the best that she’s been in a long time.   She may have had the second longest acceptance speech of the evening, but she bloody well had the most entertaining!   So, you know what?   I’m happy with her winning.

“(upon Helena Bonham Carter finishing) And that’s all we have time for tonight, folks!” – Jonathon Ross.

I think we can safely assume that this'll never win anything of major worth

Best Original Screenplay

Winner: David Seidler (The King’s Speech)

I really, genuinely thought that this was going to be Inception’s consolation prize, but I really have underestimated the power of The King’s Speech.   Moral of the story then: A film with extremely predictable and workmanlike writing will obviously win out over smart, sophisticated and original writing as long as it is British and based on a real event involving our monarchy!   Actually, quick question.   How can films based on true events, but not on any book, be classed for Best Original Screenplay when they aren’t original ideas?

Best Adapted Screenplay

Winner: Aaron Sorkin (The Social Network)

It was sewn up, but he still deserves it.   Well done, Sorkin!

Best Music

Winner: Alexandre Desplat (The King’s Speech)

I’m still pissed off that Daft Punk weren’t even nominated, but Alexandre Desplat winning for his extremely generic and forgettable score over Hans Zimmer’s unique and memorable score for Inception is inexcusable.   F*ck you BAFTA!

“(after Colin Firth received a standing ovation) Controversial winner, there.” – Jonathon Ross.

Best Special Visual Effects

Winner: Inception   

Inception won something!   Great!   And it’s a triumph for films with mostly practical effects!   Even better!   I don’t have to eat my shoe!   This is absolutely fantastic!

Did you know that she's pregnant? Good. Just checking.

Outstanding British Film

Winner: The King’s Speech

*moutfart* So Danny Boyle was completely snubbed.   Urgh!   Chris Morris won Outstanding Debut By A British Director/Writer/Producer, so Four Lions not winning isn’t that big a deal.   But The King’s Speech winning this and Best Picture is just greedy and shows how little risk that the BAFTAs are willing to take when it comes to picking winners.

The Orange Rising Star Award

Winner: Tom Hardy

Well this is a pleasant surprise!   And chosen by the public, no less!   Tom Hardy has been on fire for the last few years and he deserves absolutely everything that is coming to him.   Except Rorie; who, I have just been informed, is currently sprinting to Hardy’s house of residence in his custom made Emma Stone pyjamas, wielding a shotgun and screaming death curses at the man.   So, Tom, if you’re reading this, watch your back.

Well, those are all of the important awards that I listed my predictions for.   I’m really not happy about a lot of these, but the Oscars are just around the corner!   Will they right some of the unforgivable wrongs that BAFTA perpetrated?   Will they balls.   Comment on the BAFTAs underneath, share your favourite moments and follow me! 
 
jackanderson applies the pressure to help you crystalise.