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Ooh! This reminds me! We've all been watching The Walking Dead, right? I know! It has been awesome!
Ooh! This reminds me! We've all been watching The Walking Dead, right? I know! It has been awesome!

Very unsurprisingly, Twilight won weekend number 2 of its release with £4.5 million in takings. Yes, that is significantly less than its opening of £13 mil with a 67% drop from last week, but you are forgetting that this is Twilight we are referring to here. This thing’ll have legs. Real frickin’ legs. The kind of legs that ZZ Top sang about in that one song. I think it was called “Cheap Sunglasses”.

Arthur Christmas continued to hold onto second with another increase (9% this week) so this is going to be laughing all the way to Boxing Day; when it’ll be promptly shot in the head and left to bleed out until the DVD rolls around next year. So, out of the new releases (5 of the buggers, 4 in somewhat limited releases) My Week With Marilyn won out. Coming in third with just under £750,000, it’s further proof that the old people brigade will strike whenever a movie that looks like Oscar bait rears its head.

And that now leaves the somewhat limited releases to duke it out. 50/50 won out in sixth though it also had the highest number of screens (228) of them all. £100,000 and zero marketing behind that we have Dream House, that one movie that looks crap and that nobody cared about. Then we have the latest Bollywood film of the week. Yes, that’s all the description that that film is getting.

Meanwhile, Moneyball limped in at tenth with only £230,000 from 170 screens further reinforcing the notion that Britain’s don’t like baseball! Stop trying to force it down gullets, educational system! Meanwhile, Take Shelter got off to a disappointing start with £83,982 from 55 screens. Shame for such a promising looking film. Are none of you people watching Boardwalk Empire?

Oh, and from your “Weekend” Update, it regressed to 8 screens and suffered a huge 61% drop. So, that’s the end of that. :-(

“Callum! Stop killing time and do the full list, already!”

UK Box Office Results: 25th November – 27th November 2011

1. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1

£4,574,978 / £23,310,686

As promised, here are the first two people on my list of Talented People Who Are Involved In This Series For Some Inexplicable Reason And Need To Fire Their Agents, Pronto.

Kristen Stewart: Yes, she is a total mouth breather but in literally every other film she’s proven to be a great actress. Remember Panic Room? Adventureland? The Runaways? But here she shows no emotion and acts like a lifeless robot! But... then again, Bella is basically an emotionless, lifeless, robotic slave. So, in actuality, Stewart is inhabiting the character to a tee in a genius bit of method acting! Well played, Stewart!

Anna Kendrick: Credit where credit is due, this woman is the only consistently great part of these movies (acting wise, anyway) continually stealing a scene with her snarky delivery and a whip sharp line. But it’s not just Twilight that makes her look good. 50/50, Up In The Air and, yes, Scott Pilgrim all prove that she is a fantastic actress who deserves better than this franchise. Don’t let my Number 8 fail in her quest to rule Hollywood!

2. Arthur Christmas

£2,526,285 / £8,048,183

How in great holy hell did this cost $100 million?! Right, everyone see this movie now! I’m not letting an Aardman movie bomb!

3. My Week with Marilyn

£749,819 / NEW

I... err... don’t actually have anything to say about this movie. At all. So... err... this is going to be a very boring next couple of weeks. Yeah...

4. The Adventures of Tintin

£712,398 / £15,063,616

If this weekend doesn’t kill it, next weekend will definitely finish it off. But, hey, not a bad run, all things considered! So, I still have a chance to see this hopefully. But probably not. Why do I keep rehashing the same line on this over and over, week in and week out?

5. Immortals

£534,163 / £5,404,986

I still completely fail to understand why there is no “The” in the title. It just seems unwieldy and unnecessary. Answers on a postcard.

6. 50/50

£410,251 / NEW

I really hope this turns into a The Help style situation. Where a limited release becomes wider as time goes on. It never becomes a runaway phenomenon but it makes steady money and hangs on. What I’m saying is I want it to come to Scunthorpe. I really, really want to see it (my most anticipated movie of the last three months) and there is no way in hell that my family would dump me in Cleethorpes just to watch this. Grrrr!!!

7. Dream House

£304,239 / NEW

Just because I will find any excuse to link a Fleetwood Mac song into anything, here’s Dreams. No, I don’t want to talk about Dream House! Leave me alone!

8. In Time

£258,840 / £5,026,901

It looks like this film... has run out of time. YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!

9. Desi Boyz

£243,792 / NEW

Riddle me this: How can this be a Bollywood film if it’s created in the UK? Also, I really need to forcibly get into Bollywood. I’m sick of seeing these films appear on the list and having nothing to say about them!

10. Moneyball

£230,848 / NEW

I guess you could say that this film... dropped the moneyball! Huh? Huh? HUH? HUH?!! HUH!!!!?? START LAUGHING, MORTAL! OR I WILL END YOU!!

Dropped Out: Tower Heist, Justice, Johnny English Reborn, The Rum Diary, The Ides Of March

jackanderson was called out in the dark by a choir of beautiful cheats.

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