jackanderson (Level 26)

Not even the retarded, hillbilly tow truck could stop children wanting to watch 2 hours of violence, death and sadness! What is wrong with the world!?

Previously on The New Look UK Box Office Report:

“Do we think [Harry Potter 7 Part 2 will] hang around at the top next week, then? We have Cars 2 and Horrible Bosses approaching on the horizon. Any other film and I’d say we have a battle royal on our hands. As it stands, I only see fresh meat.”

Turns out I was spot on! Despite falling 64% from last week, the Boy Wizard retained the top spot with over £8.5 million in takings. And for those of you saddened by the 64% drop, let me remind you in BIG BOLD CAPITOL LETTERS just how much this movie made in its second weekend again. £8.5 MILLION. With a capitol M.

That’s not to say the rest of the chart did bad. Oh, contraire! It’s just that Potter once again makes them look like the little bitches that they are. Any other month and any other week and any other film, and Cars 2 would’ve been number 1, bringing Pixar lots of money in the process. But somebody in the International Release Department screwed up royally and released it the week after the last Harry Potter movie! So Cars 2 had to settle for second place with £3.5 million. Somebody is going to get their ass fired for that!

The other big release was Horrible Bosses and that did far better than I expected, at least, docking at third with over £2 million. Not bad. Hopefully that’ll grow over the weeks and end up being a movie people return to. Just like Bridesmaids (ooh, segway!) which continues to pull impressive numbers with a fourth place position and over £1 million. Is there no stopping Kristen Wiig? No, there probably isn’t.

As for a quick round-up on goings on outside the list before we commence with the list; Bad Teacher clings on to 11 despite the lowest per-screen average of the week. The latest Indian Film Of The Week, Singham, enters at 12 due to the Indian Film Of The Week slot actually being held by Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara and, Christ, I’m reporting on these like they’re an actual happening now? Whatever. And Yogi Bear had a 136% resurgence of money to fifteenth place. Managed to block that out of your brain up until now? Too frickin’ bad!

So it’s the return of the New Look, Safari Assisted UK Box Office Results! What do ya’ll think of it?

UK Box Office Results: 22nd - 24th July 2011

	1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II £8,523,417 / £44,271,997 So, I’m better at this predicting crap than I thought I was. Go me! But it’s not all smooth sailing for the Boy Wizard just yet! Next week we have a trio of big films coming to try to dethrone him. Captain America. Zookeeper. And, of course, the biggest one of them all... Horrid Henry The Movie in 3D! All joking aside, I think that if anyone has a shot at dethroning the Unstoppable Warner Bros. Juggernaut it’ll be the Cap’. Though I feel this may retain the top spot for just one more week. Regardless, I’ll be helping the Cap’ by seeing his film on Saturday. Please. Don’t. Suck!
	2. Cars 2 £3,541,664 / NEW I know, right? A Pixar film that I haven’t already seen and formulated a loving opinion on? You probably think that I’m an imposter at this moment, don’t you? Truth is; I’m still seeing it but probably not for two weeks. I’ve got other stuff to see. But I did watch Cars on BBC One on Saturday (as a refresher) and it’s actually way funnier and way better than I remember. Up-good or Ratatouille-good or even A Bug’s Life-good? No way! But still a damn fine movie. Maybe Cars 2 won’t be so bad, after all!
	3. Horrible Bosses £2,077,239 / NEW Saw this today and it was brilliant. Definitely the funniest film I’ve seen so far this year. And my showing was packed to the rafters! With school now out across the country, I get the feeling this may burn up the charts for a while yet. Or, at least, I hope it does. This was a fantastic movie!
	4. Bridesmaids £1,022,982 / £18,356,960 Four weeks this has made more than £1 million. Something that, as the Guardian was very quick to inform me, hasn’t happened to any other movie so far this year. Bridesmaids is this year’s The Hangover, then! Kind of hilarious that the actual new Hangover, however much of a success it was, has been out performed in these stakes by Bridesmaids. Way funnier than the new Hangover actually was! BOOM! ... OK, I promise to stop insulting The Hangover Part II now.
	5. Transformers: Dark of the Moon £931,334 / £26,072,873 Well on its way to earning a billion. Expect that it’ll reach it by the end of August. Expect plenty more Transformers movies in about 3 years. Expect you to hate them. Expect everyone else to love them. Expect to cry yourself to sleep at night at the futility of it all.
	6. Kung Fu Panda 2: The Kaboom of Doom £242,775 / £15,773,830 This has, by far, the lowest per-screen average of the top 10 this week (£582, since you didn’t ask). Christ, even the sodding Indian movie beat it (£3,020, since you asked telepathically)! This is just so f*cking tragic, I’m only laughing 78% as much as I should do in this situation!
	7. The Guard £220,498 / £1,769,569 Once again, this movie is not even out in the rest of Great Britain, yet. Not until August. This must be one frickin’ hilarious movie to be earning this much money!
	8. Beginners £143,102 / £146,096 / NEW Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise? The small, low budget, indie comedy-drama making a decent showing! Guess Ewan McGregor still puts butts in seats! But can he hold off the might of Captain America, Kevin James and his army of talking animals and a really f*cking obnoxious little brat? No. Definitely not. Thanks for playing, anyway!
	9. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara £138,926 / £566,298 Now, last week, somebody was reading the new list format of this report (I know! Reading the list instead of the blog! Disgraceful!). And they noticed that I listed a film called Zindagi Rules instead of this movie. They then wrote a reply that aggressively detailed my mistake Well, I’d like to apologise for that. If I didn’t put in a movie, though, the list wouldn’t have featured 10 films. So I picked one with no image, instead. I apologise, good sir/madam for the confusion and inconvenience I caused and rest assured that it is now rectified with the film getting its own page. Now... *would you kindly go fck yourself?** Thank you! Come again!
	10. The Tree of Life £114,521 / £1,222,747 Well, so long Tree Of Life! Though you are about to be mauled by just about everything next week, take solace in these things. 1] You made more than £1 million. 2] You spent three weeks on the chart. 3] You got on the chart at all. 4] You look way better than 2 out of 3 of next week’s movies. Ah, well! Enjoy being shark food!