So, 2011 is fast approaching its end and it’s time for everyone to post their Top 10 Films of the Year lists. But not me! Because I don’t follow the crowd (but mostly because I really, really couldn’t be arsed), I’ve decided to do away with lists this year and bash out a quick, hodgepodgey, barely linked together awards list for 2011 instead. Don’t look at me like that! Steelport isn’t going to be destroy itself, ya know?
By the by, we're going by British release dates. That's why some of the following Winners and Runners Up get a look in. Because they got their UK release in 2011.
Best Usage Of Nicholas Cage
Winner: Drive Angry
2011 saw our greatest living actor star in not one, not two but four different movies and they all sucked (at least, I hear they sucked. I’m not wasting my time watching crappy movies! I don’t get to go to the cinema as often as I’d like as is!) bar one. Drive Angry was just a piece of pure, straight up fun. It was cheesy, it was stupid, it had Nic Cage upstaged by William Fichtner (who, no joke, owns the whole gorram movie); but all of that was part of its charm. It knew what it was and it didn’t care. Cage seems to be following up this sort of film with Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance next year so maybe he’s finally realised which sorts of films he’s best in.
Runners Up: Why would I nominate films I haven’t watched? Come on!
Winner: The One Take Chase (The Adventures Of Tintin: Secret Of The Unicorn)
Sure, it’s CG but still... wow. About a week ago I made the bold declaration that this setpiece was the “Best Setpiece Of Anything All Year”. And even after playing through the cargo plane sequence of Uncharted 3 again, I stand by that statement. I haven’t seen anything that inventive, that insane, that funny, that technically astounding and that much pure fun in 18 months (take a guess what the last film was to make me feel that way. Go on. Guess). Hats off to Spielberg! He still knows how to make ‘em!
Best Trailer For A Non-Whedon Related Product
Winner: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo: Trailer 1
Well what were you expecting? Puss In Boots? In a year where movie studios seem to be going out of their way to show you every single thing about their movie, right down to when it happens and who to (here’s looking at you, X-Men and Rise Of The Apes!), it’s refreshing to see a trailer that’s cryptic, interesting but also satisfying by itself. Set to the relentlessly pounding Trent Reznor cover of Immigrant Song, it has pace and tension and offers a very interesting glimpse into the finished product. Plus, the ending bass notes send shivers down my spine every gorram time.
Winner: The Cabin In The Woods
Yeah, so I’m a massive Whedon fanboy. I can’t help that he makes nothing but awesome! Anyways, whilst The Avengers trailer kicks all kinds of ass, I was already aware of just how awesome the finished product is likely to be. The Cabin In The Woods, however, whilst on my radar, I wasn’t totally sold on. Decent cast, mysterious premise and it being shunted from place to place because MGM are morons. But this trailer, however slightly spoilerific it may be, firmly cemented this film on my map as a must see. If only to find out what the hell is going on in those final flashing images. And, reminder: I hate horror movies!
Runner Up: The Avengers (Debut Trailer, Not Sizzle Reel)
Best Movie I’ve Almost Completely Forgotten About
Winner: 127 Hours
January was a long time ago and I don’t get many DVD’s often (especially when this year was 2011: The Best Year Ever For Gaming). So a lot of films I saw at the beginning of the year, I haven’t seen again since. As such, it means a lot of great films I saw this year kind of fall by the wayside in my memories. The one out of all the films I saw this year that I most want to see again is definitely 127 Hours. At the time, I called it better than Trainspotting but I haven’t gone back to it since. Shame, because I recall really enjoying it and feeling queasy during the amputation scene, but that’s all. So, it takes this token award.
The “They Didn’t F*ck It Up? They Didn’t F*ck It Up!!” Award for Thing They Didn’t F*ck Up
Winner: Winnie The Pooh
Winnie The Pooh is someone I hold near and dear to my heart. Having been given a Pooh Bear teddy the day I was born and growing up watching The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh and having the classic stories read to me at bedtime, I fell in love with the effortlessly charming characters and whimsically happy world. As such, I’m super defensive of him and any time anything awful happens to him (see: Almost everything Pooh related since The Grand Adventure) I die a lot inside. So, I approached the new Winnie The Pooh apprehensively, expecting a complete failure that totally missed the point.
What I got was a gorgeous, entertaining, charming smile fest of a movie that reminded me of how it felt to be a young kid again. But it had universal appeal. It wasn’t just pretty colours. There were catchy songs, clever irony everywhere and a boundless atmosphere. Finally, someone had done Winnie The Pooh right and I couldn’t be happier about it!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go change my identity since I’ve revealed too many embarrassing facts about myself.
Winner: Johnny English Reborn
You know, I’m fairly certain a lot of you would enjoy it if you just tried it. And trust me, no one was more prepared to write this off than me. I was super sceptical. The original came out 8 years ago and wasn’t that good. The trailers were extremely average. There were adverts everywhere. All signs pointed towards a major suckfest. But, you know what? I had fun. I laughed. Loudly. A lot. That’s more than I can say for the first film and more than I can say for a lot of comedies from 2011. See! You can overcome all apparent handicaps if you make a good film and have fun doing it! It is possible!
Best Animated Film
Winner: Arthur Christmas
If you’d asked me literally one month ago, I would’ve told you Winnie The Pooh hands down. And whilst I still believe that it’s fantastic and totally deserving of this award, that’s more due to personal reasons than actual quality. Arthur Christmas blew out of left field in December to score my final 5 star rating of the year and steal my heart away. Sure, it’s full of Christmas spirit but it’s also bitingly satirical, crazily inventive and just sheer bloody fun. Plus, this proved that Aardman hadn’t lost it after Flushed Away. That alone makes Arthur Christmas both worthy of the award and the title of Best Christmas Movie Ever That’s Not Die Hard.
That's the end of Part One of the awards! Think someone's been snubbed? Think I'm talking out of my arse? Wanna take a guess at what my Best, Worst and Anti-Films of the year are? Hit the comments below and start a discussion! Return tomorrow at some point post haste for the rest of the awards which will also include the Best Comedies, Best Performances and Most Disappointing! Happy New Year!
jackanderson's never gonna hear surf music again.