jackanderson (Level 26)

I don't know about you; but out of those lot, the mole is probably the Spy.

There must be something wrong with the universe. A genuinely fantastic movie has done genuinely fantastic whilst genuinely crap movies have done genuinely crap! The big winner this weekend (and finally, finally, knocking The Inbetweeners off of the number 1 spot) was Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy which cruised to the top spot with well over £2.5 million. Proof that if you actually take the time to make a good movie with the best cast of the year (and the best I can ever remember) and lots of “Oscar-worthy” buzz surrounds it; they will come.

So, The Inbetweeners is no longer number one and suffered its biggest week-to-week drop so far (43%). But it’s not all bad news! It’s still in second place and is only about 4 million away from toppling The King’s Speech as the second highest grossing movie of the year! So that’s great!

But elsewhere, we have more decidedly, “Your Mileage May Vary” news. The biggest winner out of all of the other new releases, which I’m sure will be to the delight of pat4327, was The Change-Up which debuted in fifth with over £700,000. That’s not a good thing, you say? Well, how about the much better news of I Don’t Know How She Does It coming in seventh with just over £500,000? That’s a very good thing you say? Well, how about 30 Minutes Or Less coming in tenth with £260,000 in one of the worst wide releases I’ve seen since Conan The Barbarian? You’re ambivalent, you say? Well, how about Thomas And Friends: Day Of The Diesels only making £106,000 for seventeenth place? I know! That is unbelievably upsetting, isn’t it?

It’s also a big week for drop offs. As the entire final third of last week’s top 10 falls by the way side with Fright Night being the saddest casualty for obvious reasons (Quality Film That Nobody Saw). Whilst Potter 7 Part II Reloaded dropped to 14th to truly rub it in on how it failed to last 10 weeks. I mean, Christ, Rio lasted 10 weeks! F*cking Rio! And in news I think you may find depressingly interesting; Mr. Popper’s Penguins has been clinging onto number 11 for the past few weeks now with only a 3% drop this week. Don’t question it; just be curious about it.

I spy a full list! … Nothing? … Wow, that bad, huh? I apologise.

UK Box Office Results: 16th September – 18th September 2011

	1. Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy £2,795,218 / £2,814,860 / NEW I will be seeing this in roughly two weeks. Yes, I know that that’s too long. Think of how bad that is for me! Two whole weeks before I can sink my teeth into the absolute bestest cast I can recall in ages! Plus, talks of “Oscar worthy” have me desperately clawing at it. I need to watch enough Oscar worthy films to actually have an opinion when so or so gets snubbed or loses! So I will be seeing this! I’m not letting it slip by!
	2. The Inbetweeners Movie £1,220,650 / £41,835,551 So I was at GAMEFest, right? And I was walking along, heading to the Ubisoft booth to try Rayman Origins (which is coming along fantastically, by the by) and I saw this guy wearing a “Pussay Patrol” shirt. Looked exactly like the movie’s ones and everything. And all I can think was, “There are children here, for godsake! Someone get him to cover it up!” Anyways, this story had a point, but I forgot it. So there’s my first Grampa Simpson style ramble! 16 is the new 74!
	3. Friends with Benefits £936,025 / £4,081,071 Not too bad a second week drop, all things considering. If nothing else, I do like seeing Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake carve out real careers for themselves. Don’t you? On an unrelated note; when do you think Family Guy’ll stop dumping on Meg?
	4. Jane Eyre £734,071 / £2,721,994 Had a re-read of some of my old stuff recently (to mine out old running gags, learn from past mistakes and generally be a vain b*stard) and I found this little nugget on Mia Wasikowska. “…her skin is whiter than a snowman with toothpaste. And if you can drag your attention away from that for five seconds, you’ll have your ears pummelled senseless by her insanely posh and grating voice.” Ah! The heady, hard-to-remember, long ago days of March 2010!
	5. The Change-Up £727,497 / NEW pat4327 has told you enough times already that this sucks, right? You fine Screened folk did listen to him, right? Good. Just checking.
	6. The Smurfs £585,092 / £15,481,608 I used the non-word of “smurf” instead of swearing last week. I apologise profusely. That stupid oversight has brought great shame upon me and my family. I have learnt my lesson and I promise to never make such a mistake ever again.
	7. I Don't Know How She Does It £521,902 / £562,609 / NEW In the now famous words of one Matthew Rorie, “No, I don’t know how Sarah Jessica Parker keeps getting film roles either!”
	8. Rise of the Apes £449,922 / £20,123,150 And for the final week, I give you The Monkees showstopper.
	9. One Day £291,624 / £7,468,445 I thought, for the final week of this running gag, we should thoroughly examine Keanu Reeves’ butchering of the English accent. Just watch this clip about 5 times then list all of the ways it’s wrong in the comments. Person with the most wins Dracula on DVD! (Disclaimer: This prize can be withdrawn at any time without your prior knowledge. So, suck it.)
	10. 30 Minutes or Less £260,337 / NEW Ouch! That is… That’s… That is god awful! Conan did better than this! However, Conan is still the bigger bomb because this will, when international gross is finished, have made its very small budget back ($28 million). Conan, meanwhile, has barely made 70% of its $90 million budget back. And just about nowhere is now showing it. So, don’t pity 30 Minutes Or Less. The advert gave away the end, anyway.

Dropped Out: Colombiana, Final Destination 5, Fright Night, Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows Part 2

jackanderson says you might make it boy, but by the skin of your teeth.

jackanderson (Level 26)

UK Box Office Results: 16th September – 18th September 2011

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