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jackanderson (Level 26)
I’m back! Freed from the shackles and failure of an A-Level ICT exam, I have returned to present to you, from upon high, the winners and failures of last weekend’s box office visitations!
Also: I’m really, really bored.
So, last week, War Horse cleaned up with almost £4 million in box office takings and the same is almost true this weekend. War Horse retained with just over £3 million in ticket sales. And, in fact, it trounced the whole competish. The number 2 movie was a whole £2 million away from War Horse. So, yeah, thorough trouncing.
So number 2 was Haywire, right? Wrong. Apparently, loads of people were desperate to see Kate Beckinsale back in a leather catsuit on the big screen as Underworld: Awakening vamped it up (this is what I’m like when I’m bored, it’s rather dangerous) with £1.1 million. In fact, Haywire was second, but strip out the previews (opening on a Wednesday and all) and it drops to sixth place. Toxic word of mouth is definitely killing that one but, remember, these are the people who hated Drive.
Loads of films came out last weekend and at least half of them didn’t make the top 10. J. Edgar could only muster up £413,210 from 259 screens for twelfth place, probably because it’s yet another Eastwood misfire. Ralph Fiennes debut film Coriolanus opened on 121 screens and made £169,308 for fifteenth, which is pretty damn good going all things considered. But the major loser was Madonna’s directorial masterpiece W.E. which, despite being based on the story of a royal and being directed by Madonna, only managed £163,783 for somewhere between sixteenth and nineteenth place. It did that bad!
Oh, and Shame managed to hang onto the Top 15 for another week, sitting snugly at number 13. Just after having cracked the Top 10 last week. I assume you actually read someone else’s report last week… traitor.
Awaken a full list that’s Haywire! … I said that I was rather dangerous when I’m bored. It brings me great SHAME!! … OK, I’ll stop now.
UK Box Office Results: 20th January 2012 – 22nd January 2012
 | 1. War Horse £3,202,493 / £9,639,624 I would give this a shot but 2 things. 1] I don’t want to be caught blubbing like a baby. 2] There’s, like, a million films coming out next month. Chronicle, Young Adult, The Muppets, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance… All of them films that interest me more and with trailers that hooked me immediately. War Horse though... eeeeeehhhh... |
 | 2. Underworld: Awakening £1,114,327 / NEW I will never understand this franchise. At all. Anyone fancy explaining this to me? |
 | 3. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows £956,434 / £24,627,233 So I managed to watch the first series of Steven Moffat & Mark Gatiss’ version of Sherlock last week and... It was absolutely f*cking fantastic! Cumberbatch is a fantastic Sherlock! Freeman bounces off of Cumberbatch spectacularly! The plots are brilliant! The Great Game is one of the best TV episodes I’ve ever seen! ... I need series 2! I need it now! “Sharon! LEND ME SERIES 2 NOW!!” |
 | 4. The Iron Lady £949,517 / £7,162,492 So I saw this last Friday and I’m extremely polarised. The simplest way I have described it to everyone who wants my thoughts is “Awful biopic. Decent film. Streep is phenomenal.” I go into more, non-politically biased thoughts in my review but those are my two cents in the end. |
 | 5. The Sitter £910,382 / NEW More like The Shi... |
 | 6. Haywire £863,564 / £1,197,866 / NEW I am seeing this on Saturday but this zero star review from VUE’s website has me worried. “What a complete waste of my time - Dull, Dull, Dull. The build up of the film was compared to the Bourne films - I can only say it was more the 'Bored Identity'.” Oh! Ho! Ho! Do you see what they did there?! They replaced the “Bourne” of “The Bourne Identity” with “BORED”!! That’s so F*CKING clever!! That’s just HYSTERICAL!!! LAUGH!!!!!! |
 | 7. Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol £815,330 / £16,686,503 I finally got to see this on Saturday but I didn’t review it due to precious ICT revision time being wasted. Regardless, I had a lot of fun with this one. The extended action sequences were tense and exciting, the music was great, it was a tonne of fun… But, most importantly, it had action sequences were you could make out what was going on! Highly recommended… You know; if for some reason you still hadn’t seen it already. |
 | 8. The Artist £770,403 / £3,205,883 12% increase over last week. Still wish someone would bring it nearer by. I would genuinely drop everything to see this movie if it came to a local cinema. But not The Muppets. That I’m seeing opening day and nothing is stopping me. |
 | 9. Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked £568,758 / £13,111,689 David Cross is here to regale you with some depressing facts. |
 | 10. Puss in Boots £568,590 / £13,645,623 It seems like this puss… only had 7 lives. YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Cos, it only had 7 weeks on the chart? And... Cat's have nine lives and... er... Yeah, it's better if you just go... |
Dropped Out: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, The Darkest Hour, Shame
jackanderson’s been told just to let it all go and he’s been told just to give it up, give it up.
