We did it, guys! We finally did it! We got Arthur Christmas to number one! It took 4 weeks to get it to number one, but we finally f*cking did it! Give me a f*cking high five, my son! I just know that everything is now going to be OK! It’s all going to be OK.
So, Twilight is no longer number one. Yes, I know it was only number one for two weeks but that’s still two weeks too long. And it’s not number two, either! Happy Feet Two barely squeaked past to second place with £1.6 million in ticket sales. That’s probably not the kind of number the creators wanted, but this’ll, presumably, keep running and make decent money each week. There’s only Puss In Boots and Alvin & The Chipmunks to come. I’m sure Warner Bros. will still be fanning themselves with money come January.
Meanwhile, Hugo did surprisingly decent in its opening weekend, considering the competition. The film opened in fourth place with £1.2 million. It’s still not brilliant, mind, and it’s still nowhere near making back its presumed $150 million budget, but it’s good nonetheless. However, the big loser was The Thing which made £480,000 for sixth place. Which continues this extremely depressing trend of Mary Elizabeth Winstead movies bombing. Why can’t you people give her a break every once in a while?
But the biggest winner of the weekend was Margaret, the directorial return of Kenneth Lonergan that’s been on hold since 200-and-f*cking-7. Sure, 42nd place sounds downright absolutely pathetic. But, and this is the big but, it made £4,925 from one single screen on a weekend total of three showings. As in, the only showings over the weekend were at . Every day. And that’s it. You may now pick your jaws up from the floor.
Oh, and The Big Year came out. It made £122,591 for twelfth. You may now forget that movie ever happened.
This full list has got Happy Feet! And Immortals! And TinTin! And, sadly, Dream House.
|1. Arthur Christmas|
£1,896,595 / £11,479,166
Didn’t I tell you this’d have legs? I told you this’d have legs! All together now! “I told you so! I told you so! I. Told you. So! How about in French? Je te l'avais dit! Je te l'avais dit!”
|2. Happy Feet Two|
£1,686,197 / NEW
And this beating Twilight, well, that is just the icing on an already glorious cake, lemme tell ya! Friend of mine went to go see this at the weekend and it conked out half way through. So now she has free movie tickets and we’re all off to go see Puss In Boots this weekend. Don’t ask why, just go with it.
|3. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1|
£1,671,495 / £27,331,761
Time for Part 2 of my Talented People Involved In This Franchise Who Need To Take Some Actually F*cking Decent Roles For Once feature.
Christian Serratos: As my minor wiki edits this week should’ve taught you, this fine young woman should be best known to you and I as Suzie Crabgrass from the “No, honestly, it’s genuinely pretty damn funny!” Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. Those of you who watched that show (well done, have a cookie) will know that, in addition to being damn hot, she’s also got very good comic timing and decent acting skills. Not entirely certain what I’d cast her in or as, but a small bit part in some Twilight movies is most certainly not it.
Lee Pace: Ned from Pushing Daisies? Aaron Tyler from Wonderfalls? Thranduil in the upcoming Hobbit movies? STOP STARRING IN CRAP! You are way better than this! Marmaduke, Twilight, When In Rome… Please star in something great! You deserve so much! And if that doesn’t work, help Bryan Fuller lobby to bring Pushing Daisies back for a mini-series on Starz. Something, anything! Just. Not. Twilight!
£1,225,987 / NEW
This is gonna be one of the biggest bombs of the year, isn’t it? It’s gonna do worse than Green Lantern percentage wise, isn’t it? Sigh. I’m gonna go sob in the corner. Come get me when the whole ordeal is over.
|5. My Week with Marilyn|
£483,239 / £1,896,461
This is actually sixth when you include the £3,000 The Thing took from previews. But that’s life. And, no, I still have nothing to say about this movie.
|6. The Thing|
£481,921 / £485,534 / NEW
Belated Happy Birthday to Mary Elizabeth Winstead who turned 27 on November 28th. No, it’s never too late to wish someone a happy birthday! I’ve just never had the chance to before now! ... Why are you looking at me like that? ... No, I’m not weird at all! I’m just in love! It’s perfectly natural for a 17 year old boy to have feelings for a beautiful, intelligent, funny woman who is 10 years older than him! JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!!
|7. The Adventures of Tintin|
£301,943 / £15,728,407
And with that, we bid TinTin adieu. No, I did not get to see it. Yes, I am kinda really bummed about that. Ah, well. L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N. as Noah And The Whale would say.
£231,737 / £967,388
Anybody remember 50/50? The old CBBC children’s game show? That was a blast, wasn’t it? Here’s an episode on YouTube if you need your memories jogging. I bet Sally Field introduced a lot of young boys to puberty fairly quickly.
Oh, and FYI, still real annoyed that I can’t see this movie. It would’ve been a Top 10 of the Year for me for almost certain. GORRAM YOU, VUE SCUNTHOOOOOORRRRRPPEEE!!!
£226,603 / £5,977,563
|10. Dream House|
£131,303 / £680,798
If nothing else, take solace in the fact this made nowhere near its budget back and completely failed to make £1 million with its two weeks on the chart. Drive took £1.3 million in two weeks. Twice this movie. It’s all going to be OK.
jackanderson is the educated, motivated, skin tight, rawhide, hardworkin', blood sweatin', hollerin', your world wreckin'.