jackanderson (Level 26)

Badass Incarnate: Liam Neeson.

You know that something wrong must have occurred to the country when the combined power of George Clooney being charming and Liam Neeson fist-fighting wolves couldn’t topple a three week’s old movie about a horse. Yes, War Horse once again cleaned up with £2 million in ticket sales. The Descendants closely followed behind in second place with £1.7 million. The Grey, however, was very far behind that with only £1 million in box office receipts but, regardless, was still good enough for third place.

Meanwhile, crappy kids’ films continue their streak of making money. This week’s example is French animation A Monster In Paris making over £1 million for fourth place and being this close to beating The Grey for third. To which end I ask: what the f*ck is wrong with you people? You have a brand new Liam Neeson movie, and you’re choosing to instead drop your kids off at a crappy animated movie? The cinema is not your babysitter!

As for other new, more limited release entries; Polish Roulette was the big outside-of-the-top-10 winner coming in 17th with £159,568 from 40 screens. Next up was the romantic drama Like Crazy (which, based on the title alone, just sounds like a barrel of laughs) entering in 19th with £93,981 from 104 screens. And bringing up the rear is the Spanish horror movie Intruders which took £76,832 from 99 screens for twentieth place.

As for the dropper outers, we finally (and, good lord, do I mean finally) get to say goodbye to Alvin & The Chipmunks and Puss In Boots. And we also have to say farewell to Haywire. I saw it on Saturday and reviewed it on Sunday (plugplugplug) and, whilst I understand why some people didn’t like it, I don’t get the ridiculous amounts of scorn and hate from the public for it either. Shame that it’ll be a relative bomb. Go read my review!

It’s late and I can’t think of a witty segue. Let’s just go to the full list.

UK Box Office Results: 27th January 2012 – 29th January 2012

	1. War Horse £2,081,490 / £13,418,627 Can something please knock this off of the top spot next week? I’m fine with anything! Chronicle? Hell yeah! Journey 2? OK, whatever! Man On A Ledge? Well, it’ll give me an excuse to bust out a pic of Elizabeth Banks for the header! Young Adult? Will renew my faith in humanity for a bit! Jack & Jill? ... On second thoughts: just Chronicle and Young Adult, please!
	2. The Descendants £1,797,939 / NEW We are all perfectly aware that George Clooney has that Best Actor Oscar in the bag, right? If you’ve picked anyone else and they are not in The Artist to throw your betting money behind, you’re doing it wrong.
	3. The Grey £1,094,338 / NEW So, apparently this is actually seriously good? Well, there’s a turn up for the books. Gonna have to check this out on DVD if I get the chance, then.
	4. A Monster in Paris £1,043,531 / NEW To be fair; this doesn’t look awful, just woefully average. So, immediately, it’s better than anything DreamWorks has done recently. Except, so that the Internet doesn’t explode with anger (and I haven’t seen it so I can’t comment on its quality, personally), How To Train Your Dragon.
	5. The Artist £704,348 / £4,470,081 A relatively slow week, gross wise has allowed this to go up a few places whilst still shedding cash (9% this week). I’m guessing that this will continue to make money until the Oscars come and go, and then it’ll drop off the face of the earth and no-one will ever speak of it again. That sound about right?
	6. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows £655,144 / £25,663,306 No, I have no idea why this is still doing so well. QUIT IMAGINARILY ASKING!
	7. Underworld: Awakening £627,846 / £2,382,349 More like... Blunderworld... Sleepening...? Dammit! There’s a good pun here somewhere! I just can’t bloody well find it!
	8. The Iron Lady £567,397 / £8,405,809 Welp! It’s official! Margaret Thatcher is no King Albert! Clearly a polarising Prime Minister who is (REDACTED TO KEEP POLITICS OUT OF THIS POST) is no match for a lovable royal with a speech impediment! Well, now we know! And knowing is half the battle!
	9. The Sitter £554,568 / £1,967,227 Farewell, Fat Jonah Hill! Not that any of us gave a sh*t.
	10. Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol £529,462 / £17,536,984 And, with that, Brad Bird secures himself a future in the live action movie industry! Huzzah! Now all we need is for John Carter to be a success for Andrew Stanton (of Finding Nemo & Wall-E fame) and we will have officially made a thing out of making Pixar directors famous in the live-action realm! Yes, I know that John Carter doesn’t look good at all. But just take one for the team here, OK? Shiny!